To have been rude to shop assistant

[Mumoftwo52]

Family doing some shopping today. Go into an independent toy shop. I’m holding DD1 (18m) so she doesn’t pull everything off shelves, 4yo DD runs ahead and picks up a unicorn Jellycat and cuddles it saying ‘can I get this please mummy?’. Shop assistant shouts across the room ‘can she put that back if you’re not going to buy it as it’s expensive’. Me and DH exchange glances but I tell DD to put it back.

We keep browsing but I say to DH that I don’t really fancy buying anything now, and say quite loudly in front of the second shop assistant (who turns out to be the owner): ‘let’s go and find another toy shop where we’re allowed to touch the toys’. Yes I was being snarky but was annoyed.

She says these toys are expensive, she owns all the stock so if my DD damages it, it costs her money. I say I’d understand that if she had dirty hands, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t let her touch anything if she did. DH says it’s a shame kids aren’t allowed to touch toys in a toy shop, and that she’s lost a potential sale, she says that they've had bad experiences in the past and anyway it was clear we weren’t going to buy anything. I said ‘why do you think that?’ She replied: ‘it just is’. We quickly left.

AIBU for letting my kids touch toys in a toy shop? To be clear, this was a soft toy, not something delicate. My DD was holding it in her arms, nothing more.

@CoraPirbright
You beat me to it!

These people blaming you are a bit weird tbh. If you damage, you pay. Standard in any shop.

What a rude owner, especially the last comment. Don’t worry, they won’t be in business much longer with that attitude!

Babies grab things 🙄

I've always taught my 6 year old to never touch stuffed toys in shops because it's already been cuddled and rubbed by a million children with sticky fingers and god knows how many germs. She's great at upholding the rule and we don't annoy shopkeepers either.

And you can ensure they are not within grabbing distance.

Been in any independent toy shops lately? They can be pretty cramped

What if every child handled the soft toys?
They'd get filthy. From a young age, be firm in shops with the "look don't touch" mantra.

They will, because other people like to buy things that don’t have toddler hand marks all over them. Even for their own toddlers! And, to be honest, this woman owns the shop. I am fairly sure she knows more than you or I do about what her customers want. And she made that very clear.

I have actually, to buy presents for my colleague’s kids. Cramped isn’t an excuse for bad behaviour.

Corr, aren’t you precious? 🤣😂🤣

Make sure you take your 4yo and the jellycat in tomorrow and do your best Julia Roberts - "you work on commission right? Big mistake, huge" 😂

Both you and your DH were rude. You made your point so carrying it on makes you wrong.

Do adults not try on clothes before they buy and often get make-up/perfume on them?

Adults generally don't wipe their snotty hands all over things.

The woman should know to put her precious beanies in special cases for them then (they exist exactly for this purpose)

..rather than bitch at customers for doing normal things

It's not normal to allow your children to handle the expensive soft toys before buying. You teach them to look, then ask.

It's not normal for children to run around and grab stuff off the shelves.

You ask before you can touch.

You didn't need to make the snide comment on the way out. When I worked in retail you get these kind of comments ALL the time when people want to "win". 99.9% of the time, the person it's said to couldn't give less of a shit if you intend to buy elsewhere. It just comes across as self important and silly.
That said, she was unnecessarily abrupt. I can why she didn't want expensive stock handled by a young child with potentially grubby hands, snotty nose etc but it's a toy shop. She could have been more polite.
Never mind. Put it on the never visit again list and buy elsewhere.

Ummm no? It’s not my shop, or my toddler? It is “precious” to assume you know more than the person who owns the actual shop about what should happen in that shop. Said shop is her livelihood. Perhaps consider that? If it’s not too “precious”?

4 year olds are old enough to understand that they don’t grab and cuddle things in a shop. Imagine if every child did this, they’d be filthy. Teach your children to behave in shops.

I mean to be fair to the shop owner, some parents don't seem to care!

I was out with another parent this weekend and they let their child put their hands down their trousers and scratch their bottom, the mum smelt their child's hands after and then proceeded to ask the child if they needed the toilet whilst also getting them to pick out a sweet of their choice. The child manhandled various other sweets in the process of choosing the one they wanted with the discarded ones left for unsuspecting others to buy.
They then proceeded to look at books, teddies and other things with the child picking up and playing with these things still with shitty fingers.

Because if she’s snuggling it it will touch her mouth and nose. Where we carry germs we should keep to ourselves.

Quite. I agree with you. Why are we even having this conversation? Look with your eyes…

Adults don’t have germs? Adults don’t scratch their bums? Adults always wash their hands after going to the toilet? Adults don’t wear loads of makeup that rubs against t-shirts and dresses they try on? Have dandruff that flakes off onto tops? Adults can be gross too.

Having a shop means accepting things get damaged, and you factor that into your expenses.

Like others have said, if an item is too precious, keep it out of reach of curious hands, or maybe don’t own a toy shop if you don’t want kids in your establishment.

Or maybe control your kids. What a WILD idea!

If your DH was there, why didn't he supervise your daughter?

You were rude, yes.