Uncomfortable comment from a work colleague I don’t know

[JenJen94]

I’m a bit unsure how to feel after a comment made to me this morning - whether it’s right I’m creeped out or if I’m over-reacting.

Without being too outing, I work at the head office for a big national company so several thousand employees on site across the week and obviously I don’t know everyone.

I usually park in the same spot every morning (in office 3 days a week) and quite often a man is parked a few spots along who will start at a similar time to me. I don’t know him, never see him in the office or know what department he’s in etc.

Today, he was parked up before me but I saw he was sat in his car when I arrived. I got my stuff out and began to walk to the office. I heard him get out of his car about 15/20 seconds after I walked past.

I got stuck behind someone at the entrance to the office and he had caught up by that point. He said to me ‘got your legs out today then’ as I was wearing a skirt given the hot weather.

I smiled/sheepishly laughed and walked on into the office.

Is this creepy given I don’t know this person or is it just me?

I genuinely believe this is an age divide thing.

Those of us older than a certain age know it as a common pleasantry commenting on the weather turning nice and it being the start of summer.

The younger posters see it as a sexist comment because they simply weren't aware that it is just a comment on the weather.

What 😂

I’m 40 and this is not a ‘common phrase’ that I’m aware of

Then maybe you are on that cusp of ages where it was a common pleasantry that summer is on its way. I am a bit older and it was a common phrase when I was growing up and I would still recognise it as such.

WTF some of these comments....it was factual 🤣 I'll say that next time I see spiders legs at swimming

"Oh i see youve got a hairy biff"

Honestly 🙄

Obviously not up on his pc.
Ita not something I would complain about but yeah you don't comment on a ladies legs.

I’m nearly 50. Common pleasantry between friends, not as a first comment ever from a man you don’t know. Basically, if a man you don’t know chooses an initial comment pointing out one of your body parts, that’s going to sound borderline creepy to me. Even if they’d already been chatting on the way from the cars to the office, talking about the weather, saying hello, it would be less bad. But it’s a weird opener!

I also think as a one off it wouldn’t be a problem, especially if the sun is out and weather is warm etc, he prob just opening convo but if the next time he comments the same or similar id stay clear like the fact he said got ur legs out ‘today’ would make me think he has noticed u before and noticed u don’t usually wear skirts. Don’t read too much into it this time. Next time be ready with a throwback comment.

Maybe, although I am the same age as the guy who said it tho

😂🤣🤣

But again it may well have been a common phrase in his family the same way it is for many posters on here.

It's a shame that the OP was made to feel strange about it but having seen that for many people it is just a weather comment perhaps that will help her feel a bit better that he wasn't necessarily being creepy and just didn't realise that not everyone would know it was a commonly used phrase.

I assume OP and the guy live in the same area too? It can’t be that a common phrase where they are

Maybe he’s from out of town! 😄

Best not to comment on other people’s bodies at work though.

OK then. Or maybe he is in a family that has a wider vocabulary and is better read? You seem to have a block that there are plenty of other posters besides me that know it simply means "summer's here"

For one comment I’d feel a bit embarrassed for him that he’s making unwanted comments about female colleague’s bodies. More than once with the comments or the waiting and getting out at the same time as you then I’d tell him to stop and report him. He’d have to be exceptionally clueless to not realise it’s inappropriate at this point already though, which means he’s doing it anyway.

Many of us are fully aware of the phrase, extremely well read, and still don’t think it’s appropriate for a man to say to a woman he has never spoken to before. Equally well informed people are disagreeing with your interpretation of whether it’s appropriate in this situation or not, that’s all.

What a ridiculous response. Arguably lots of comments are 'factual'. You have a fat arse could be factual, got your tits out today then would be factual to someone wearing a low cut top. Doesn't make it appropriate or necessary.

How about as a general rule you don't comment on people's clothes or appearance at work. Why is that so hard for some people

The key test of objectivity is would he say it to a man? I suspect not

I've heard it said to men when the sun comes out and they don shorts.
I've heard men say it and women say it. With that in mind it seems harmless to me.

But at least you accept it is a commonly used phrase.

A wider vocabulary and better read 😃

And what he’s got to show for it is

“Got your legs out then?” 😁

I’m sure some people in some parts of the country and of some generations do recognise it as a ‘phrase’, but just pointing out that that doesn’t seem to be the case with OP’s man. But who knows.

Good point. I guess maybe if it was someone he knew and it was jokey- very surprised if it was to someone he’d never spoken to tho, you’re right

I would have felt uncomfortable too. For me the phrasing of “got your legs out” is objectifying, it presupposes that you are displaying your legs for the male gaze rather than just wearing a skirt because it’s hot. I feel the same way about “on show”, as in a woman wearing a strappy top or short shorts having legs/cleavage/skin “on show”. I’m a person, not a display item and I dress for the weather and my own comfort. I would avoid this man, personally.

I've heard men say that comment to other men or themselves. when they see them in shorts when it gets sunny in spring. My bf always says "getting my legs out" then going out in shorts. If this is isolated, I'd imagine it was an awkward "weather is nice" small talk.

I'm another firmly of the opinion that this isn't something a man would say to another man he didn't know

As another comparator would you say it to the queen? If not why not? For me the answer is no because it is overly familiar and informal. These are reasons for a man not to say it to a woman he doesn't know and has never spoken to before

If you were out in town with a teenage daughter and a random middle aged man walked past and said 'i see you've got your legs out' would it be OK then and deserving of a smile? I feel for the daughter of anyone who says yes 😒

He is creepy.

Exceptionally creepy and seems like he was catapulted here from the 1950s.

Does anybody think he would say that to a male colleague?

I'm 65 and so far as I'm concerned it is not a "common pleasantry" that summer is on it's way.

Lovely day/ so nice to see the sun/blossom/flowers/ so nice to see the back of the winter" and so on and so on.