Uncomfortable comment from a work colleague I don’t know

[JenJen94]

I’m a bit unsure how to feel after a comment made to me this morning - whether it’s right I’m creeped out or if I’m over-reacting.

Without being too outing, I work at the head office for a big national company so several thousand employees on site across the week and obviously I don’t know everyone.

I usually park in the same spot every morning (in office 3 days a week) and quite often a man is parked a few spots along who will start at a similar time to me. I don’t know him, never see him in the office or know what department he’s in etc.

Today, he was parked up before me but I saw he was sat in his car when I arrived. I got my stuff out and began to walk to the office. I heard him get out of his car about 15/20 seconds after I walked past.

I got stuck behind someone at the entrance to the office and he had caught up by that point. He said to me ‘got your legs out today then’ as I was wearing a skirt given the hot weather.

I smiled/sheepishly laughed and walked on into the office.

Is this creepy given I don’t know this person or is it just me?

As the opening conversational gamit ?

She recognises him as a random
in a car park. She has never spoken to him, he is not a colleague.

I also, strangely, don't recall every comment I ever make to other people which have no impact on my life beyond that interaction

That’s because you’ve never asked a strange man ‘Got your legs out, then?’

Bit of a weird, old fashioned thing to say and I would have probably given him a look that let him know in no uncertain terms that he needs to shut up and fuck off.

The man is a dinosaur. Don't let it get to you, OP.

Yet he'd never once said good morning or any of the classic small talk pieces about the actual weather?

Usually only then !

A woman said this to me today, as I had my legs out. I'm pretty sure she's not lesbian and desperate to hump me. 🙄

No its because I have had 1000s of interactions with people and don't remember every single one.
Do you?

This is the first time they've been going in at the very same time

He wasn't striking up a conversation, he was making an observation as they waited in reception

Never. But I am not the man in the car park. And that's the point.

It doesn't matter if a man would say it to another man. That's not the test.

(But it is exactly the kind of man banter I hear at work all the time. And several people on this thread have heard the same too.)

To be clear, I don't think it's reasonable for a man to say it to a strange woman at work. It's not awful. But is misjudged. And the discourse that says "a man wouldn't say it to another man" is unhelpful because A) they might and B) if they do, it doesn't mean they therefore get a free pass to say it to a woman.

Absolutely this........

Yes, I can categorically say I’ve never asked a strange man ‘Got your legs out, then?’

And I doubt you have either.

Yeah right. Why does he need to make an "observation"? Did he think OP had forgotten to put her trousers on until he "observed" her legs? Was she going to go "bloody hell, I've forgotten to get dressed? Or "blimey, I've got legs"

An observation could be "great weather today/ nice change from all that rain/or didn't the lads do great" [if in Liverpool- because they did, even a non- footie fan would get that]

But no, out of all the possible "observations" he comments on OP's legs.

I would say that to a male colleague wearing shorts.

I think you should work on, and worry about, why you smiled and sheepishly laughed when clearly you're now uncomfortable, rather than wonder about one comment. It would be more beneficial to focus on your own feelings than his actions.

No, a comment that the weather is nice would be "Nice day for April" or similar. That is generic small talk. Any comment that references a person's appearance is personal.

Totally different power dynamic when a woman says it to another woman or an elderly woman jokes with her postman. 🙄

I just cannot believe the sheer ignorance on this thread of how men think and see women. No wonder they continually get away with outrageous shit if people are this naive.

Thanks for the replies, I don’t know why but it just felt creepy. I had heels on too which I usually don’t (my DP said I should wear that outfit more often 🙄).

I can’t quite put his age, early 40’s maybe? I’m 30

A colleague you've never previously exchanged a word with?

Exavtly. On what planet is "I see you've got your legs out" not personal?

YANBU I think context is key. He may be a familiar face, but you don’t know each other at all, and a bloke making that sort of comment to a woman in the workplace is inappropriate. Especially so if he’s significantly older than you. It’s just a bit off, it’s not the 1970s ffs. As a one-off I’d let it go, but it’s a perfect example of everyday sexism 😬

Yes listen to your instinct. He couldn't help himself from comment and get your attention. Also to make you feel self conscious. Definitely creepy.

Also do consider parking in a different spot.

Not every man is out to get you.

So a woman can feel uncomfortable but not a postman 🙄.

You can categorically relay EVERY SINGLE interaction you've ever had?

I guess I'm in the minority inasmuch as I don't think it's an appropriate comment to make given it's in a work environment, Also, they don't work in the same department nor even know each other.

Because they've been seeing each other in the car park for a significant time
And are now able to talk
And something is different about her
It's like "oh your hair is purple today"