Uncomfortable comment from a work colleague I don’t know

[JenJen94]

I’m a bit unsure how to feel after a comment made to me this morning - whether it’s right I’m creeped out or if I’m over-reacting.

Without being too outing, I work at the head office for a big national company so several thousand employees on site across the week and obviously I don’t know everyone.

I usually park in the same spot every morning (in office 3 days a week) and quite often a man is parked a few spots along who will start at a similar time to me. I don’t know him, never see him in the office or know what department he’s in etc.

Today, he was parked up before me but I saw he was sat in his car when I arrived. I got my stuff out and began to walk to the office. I heard him get out of his car about 15/20 seconds after I walked past.

I got stuck behind someone at the entrance to the office and he had caught up by that point. He said to me ‘got your legs out today then’ as I was wearing a skirt given the hot weather.

I smiled/sheepishly laughed and walked on into the office.

Is this creepy given I don’t know this person or is it just me?

It's not a silly comment. It's factual and not inappropriate IMHO

Is it acceptable to make factual remarks to strangers about their appearance though? If so, where do you draw the line - choice of clothing/hairstyle/weight/make-up/skin colour?

Gosh you’re a bit over sensitive aren’t you? It’s basically a comment on the weather

If you really are a teacher I would hope you might be able to see there is difference between colleagues who know each other discussing a dress and a man whom the OP has never spoken to and whose identity is unknown commenting on her legs.

No it isn't.

A comment on the weather is "nice weather, makes a change from all that rain"

Personally, it wouldn’t bother me, but I can see why it would make other women uncomfortable, and he should know this. So yes, I think he was being inappropriate.

its just one of those things boomers like to say to people. In fact im genx and I have said it before. It just means warm enough for a skirt or its shorts weather.

I dont like random men commmenting on my appearance particularly, but you have to make allowances for the more benign ones.

Honestly if this is the first time he has spoken to you I would find it creepy. I might make that comment to a friend/colleague I knew but not someone I just see around work. Possibly he meant it with no ill intent but hopefully your response or lack of made it clear it was not a welcome comment. Can you change where you park/ time you arrive for a bit? Or just ignore him

I’ve never in close to 20 years seen a male colleague wearing shorts at work so it would be pretty noticeable and I expect everyone he met would have a comment on that. Skirts and heels pretty bog standard daily work wear and it’s an inappropriate comment, unless the op is something like an emergency worker expected to turn up in uniform.

Eh? Boomers?
Boomers" generally refers to members of the Baby Boomer generation, born between 1946-1964.

Even aside from your sweeping generalisation the man isn't in the generation.

No I wouldn’t like this from a man I don’t know who seemingly waited in his car until I arrived then followed me in and made the comment. From a friend/colleague I know well then no problem. Context is everything.

How is he OP? Are you similar ages, single? Could he fancy you and want to start conversation?

We're not. Quite the opposite in fact. Assertive, confident and know we don't have to fawn and preen every time a man decides he wants to comment on us.

OP said he's early 40’s maybe? She's 30

I would hate this comment. If I had decided to wear a skirt because it was warm and more comfortable it doesn’t mean I want attention drawn to my legs, and to have them commented on would make me feel really uncomfortable.

I am no longer in the uk but in the uk, us and Australia his comment at work is sexual harassment by definition in the corporate world, it’s literally almost the exact scenario I’ve had in some training. I’m not a snowflake for not taking some random man’s inappropriate shit, I’d give him the death stare and say really.

This.

I said it to my builder last week!!

OP noticed this man enough to know he also parks near her and to notice he was sitting in his car. Obviously she's a creep too

So men can't even say "I like your hair today" because it's creepy as its her appearance? What about a lesbian woman, is she not allowed because she might mean it as she fancies her? Because it's usually considered nice to have someone notice when you've done something different/made an effort.

Presumably this isn't the first and only time you've spoken to your builder?

There's no comparison.

lol if they were the first words he ever uttered to her –

“Hello, I like your hair today”

Yes it would absolutely be creepy 😂😂🤣

Yeah that’s totally fine though as it’s a completely different context!

It is weird and creepy.

If he was desperate to make an "observation" make a "factual" statement or even make conversation because he fancies the OP the English language and British society has a multitude of innocent, conversation openers he could have used.

All this "men can't say anything these days" is just bollocks. There's plenty of things he could have said.

This is the sort of comment I'd make to colleagues whatever sex they are. I think the sexualising of it it is the recipient rather than the sender.

Come on guys. He said the equivalent of:
"Good Morning. I don't really know you and I have never talked to your before.. but I am a man and you are a woman and I just thought I'd let you know that I've been looking at your legs."
In what way is that a completely innocent comment? Context is everything. Quite different from an old lady making a comment to the postman and saying it to someone you know.

I am guessing you are quite young.

Getting your legs out has been a phrase that denotes the start if summer for years and was common use when I was young. Just because it isn't in your phrasebook doesn't make it not the case.

So when was the last time you told a strange man you’ve never met ‘Got your legs out, then?