Fed up of neighbours side door always open!!!

[exceptionale]

This is the 4th summer we’ve lived in our bungalow now and I am really fed up of listening to the elderly couple next door’s noise.
they have their kitchen door open for 6 months a year and they seem to spend 90% of their day in the kitchen. They are both nearly 80 but they seem to have rediculous amounts of energy and barely sit still, the phone is always ringing, they shout down the phone when talking to people. The radio and Tv is on loud and it’s bloody annoying!!
the problem is they are very nice people but they are pissing me off because in my opinion it is inconsiderate but they clearly don’t think it’s unusual to hear neighbour noise all summer long. We bought a detached house thinking we would hear less of our neighbours but with these people we hear them more.
The thing is they probably wouldn’t mind listening to us all day but that doesn’t make me comfortable with it.
AIBU?

You seem easily annoyed by normal community life

YABU complaining about an older couple doing normal things in their own home. Have you ever thought that they may be hard of hearing so talk loudly and have tv on loudly. They’d probably be mortified if you told them how much you’re disturbed.

What exactly do you want this ‘turning point’ to be ? Loss of voice, death ?

Do you find yourself entertaining?
I doubt anyone else does.

What could Op possibly say? Don’t sit in your kitchen talking, ask people not to phone you, close your back door in the summer, sit in an arm chair in silence watching tv but not to loud. There’s nothing to talk about the neighbours are just living what they have left of their lives, don’t make them feel bad for it! They 80 so probably hard of hearing hence why they might be loud

I understand, OP. Our opposite neighbour is on slightly higher ground than us and as a result our house just seems to get "bathed" with their noise. They always have their kitchen door open or are on their patio that they've made at the front of the house. And it's constant noise - dog barking, him on the phone like Dom Joly. They have a never ending stream of visitors and from now to September they'll be outdoors. We can't even have our windows open on the catch as the noise is just too much. They had a party on Saturday and by 10pm I was gritting my teeth even with loop earplugs in. It's the lack of thought that gets me - I don't want to hear every word they're saying. I want to sit in my back garden and just hear bird song and the distant hum of a lawnmower.

But you will expect them to put up with your child noise.

60? That’s not that old. You’ll be expected to work until you’re 70!

You need some bad smells. That will make them shut their door.

Probably nicer to learn to live with them.

My mother is 86. She's just come back from a trip to NewYork. She lives in the UK

so... @exceptionale DO you keep your doors open too? I mean, I can't see how you can hear all this noise unless you are doing exactly the same. In that case, aren't you all in the same situation?

I would suggest closing your own doors (neighbours don't have any control over YOUR doors, right?)

Then you move

They were there first

Don’t be ridiculous, the neighbours are doing everyday things. My back door is open from April onwards and I have my radio on, talk to people and, god forbid, even sometimes listen to music, as do my neighbours. If it isn’t antisocial noise, and by that I mean parties every night, loud music or shouting, there isn’t a thing anyone can do about it.

It's frustrating, I've been there. True story, we used to live at a location which backed onto a main road right next to a set of traffic lights. Every 45 seconds cars were accelerating and we couldn't hear each other talk. We posted on websites, we complained and shouted at the cars. The only thing that worked in the end is we moved away. It was the hardest of all the choices, but the most effective.

Remind the of their age, that they should t be behaving like this at their age. They might rediscover loud 70s rock. Then you will be afraid.

That’s a really awful thing to say about some aging people.

Hugely sympathise OP. Some practical suggestions:

1. install a max height fence (2m) on the boundary. Make sure you get acoustic panels to reduce the noise. This is key. The panels must be between the noisy neighbours and you.
2. Get a Bluetooth speaker of decent quality and play classical music on it, placing the speaker between the noisy neighbours and you. Even when you’re in different parts of the house, you can carry the “buffer speaker”with you.
3. if you’re outside, wear headphones so you can’t hear them which will allow you to ignore them if they call out.
4. if you’re pregnant, soon they will have to listen to a screaming baby so you’ll be getting revenge anyway.

Totally agree. I'm sick of people who think about no one outside themselves and their fog horn mouths.

I make sure I don't slam cupboard doors, hold drawers to close, gently shut my front door etc etc because I live in a converted house.

It's absolutely miserable being in close proximity to people who don't have the brain capacity to care.

A bit of noise, hearing life, that's nice. But many people don't think of their impact on others.

Putting on a fan has helped me alot in coping with constant background noise.

A fan 24 /7 is going to be non feasible but whilst it's hot I'd try it out.

Or OP might get to like the neighbours.

I meet older people a lot for work. Honestly there’s a massive variance met a lovely couple in their late 70s, sprightly and in perfect health apart from highish blood pressure and a lady in her 60s who is utterly done in. I think smoking really ages you too.

Have you got your door open to hear them so clearly ?

So here's my view on it... I'm not going to be a little b*tch like some others here. Or at least I'll try not to be.
I think it's reasonable for you to be upset. My stomach is sensitive to sound, so I can literally start throwing up because of sound sometimes... weird, but hey, that's me. Also, your space should be your own and you shouldn't feel like it gets invaded all the time without your consent. At the same time, people in their 60s have been through a lot. They've most likely seen and lived through their own versions of hell, so they do have a right to live however they want. But that's not an excuse to pretend like you can't hear them...
I don't know if this will help at all, but there's a couple things you could do for yourself that might aid you.
Option 1: What you could do is bring it up with them. Let them know that they're being unnecessarily annoying for you, and you can hear just about everything they do. (If someone was to tell me they could hear me all the time I'd be embarrassed 😅)
Option 2: If the first option doesn't work and they're arrogant about their noise level then you can get some noise canceling head phones and wear them at least when you really can't stand it (this option kind of sucks, but it's the non combative way of you prefer that.)
Option 3: You give what you get. You have loud speakers? Good! Crank them up and let em have it, and maybe they'll close their door if for nothing else to save their own "peace and quiet".

Of course it's also absolutely possible that they're legitimately hard of hearing and are loud so they can hear each other and their own little world, and if that's the case then special exceptions need to be made for that as well (unfortunately).
Good luck, hope this helped somehow.

How are your neighbors 60 and 80 at the same time?

I will admit to only skimming the the thread but they seem to have aged in the span of a few posts?

Can you move to a less built up area? They aren’t doing anything wrong.

Wait until they have to listen to your screaming baby.

Wait until they pass away and you get really noisy neighbours, playing music, partying etc! I can guarantee you’ll have worse to come OP.

@saltinesandcoffeecups they’re 80, but act like 60 in terms of energy.