To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

[Travelenthusiast]

Just that really. Mid-30s and we have what I have always seen as a healthy income of £180k per annum (obviously been lower when we were younger and increased over time), and had some family help - about £50k to buy our first house several years ago.

And i’m not complaining about our quality of life- I know we are lucky and can afford a good holiday every year, and a more expensive/ luxury holiday occasionally. DS does a few extra-curricular activities, we don’t have to worry about the food shop total (we aren't extravagant at all) and can afford to eat out a few times a month etc. And I know we are lucky as I grew up in a poor family and understand the stress and implications.

But we have a very modest 3-bed house (with a big mortgage), our car is ten years old and there’s no way we could replace it, we can rarely afford to replace clothes and shoes for us (of course do for DS), days out are thought through to reduce cost, would make pack lunches to take into work and don’t buy shop coffees, we could not afford private school, and often we cut out the eating out to add to savings instead- basically £ is not abundant. And we are relatively careful financially and not big spenders generally. None of this is me saying our life is bad- I know we are really luckily, but just trying to give an idea of limitations / life.

We do live in SE commuter belt (not london) where everything is very expensive.

But we are surrounded by families who have so much more, so apparently effortlessly. We are genuinely one of the only local families without a 4x4 (i know cry me a river 🤣). How do others have it all and have the big house, the new car, endless holidays, SAHM often, the new clothes, meals out, lots of savings? Is it simply that they earn much more? I know we are lucky but I just don’t understand how so many can be so wealthy? Could most of our network really have a household income over £200k?!

It's not a "race to the bottom" to reflect that you're top earners, and most people have less money than you.

Spot on @MightyGoldBear
the best I can muster is OP, you greedy !! Just count your blessings- doh !

Could be because their spending is beyond the big incomes, or because this type of post is always linked to some poster's 'agendas' on MN.

Council tax £400
Utilities £350
Sky, broadband, phones: 80
House insurance: £100
Car insurance £50
Water £25?
Car tax £14
Repairs and maintenance £100
Adds up to £1119 and nothing there for prescriptions, dentists, travel/petrol, etc so maybe £1250. That leaves £750 for food which is entirely reasonable imo.
People forget how easily everything adds up and that there are variables.

Regarding the shoes you can’t afford, forfeit one of your meals out this month and buy a pair.

I went out for a birthday meal last week that cost £80 for two and I nearly fell over although it is probably the going rate and only once a year!

For a family you would be paying a lot more obviously so that’s a simple way to save some money.

Comparison is the thief of joy.
You have little debt
Your car is old enough not to come with all the latest electronic wizardry to go wrong
you can still afford holidays and the things you want to do.

Honestly why compare yourselves! Live your life for you how you want to! Do you really want an expensive 4x4 that barely works its engine round town (and then goes wrong because it's not being used fully), not like you need to tow a tractor home (last task our 4x4 did).
I don't buy new clothes if I can't completely wear out what I have first. Why? Because I hate shopping and am not interested in clothes. Don't care what others think.

She's got another thread going about a holiday in the Maldives, budget £15k but looking to reduce it to maybe £12k. Interesting difference in outlook.

@Travelenthusiast i am actually intrigued. Do you know how much your outgoings are from your £15k a month income ?
Can you do a break down then people can see what you downs your money on if you don’t know.

Must be alcohol dependent. Booze is not cheap. Either that or gambling.

My husband was a high earner- six figure salary before the pandemic, we lost our income and our savings and now he has resorted to having to work for just above minimum wage as his industry has never recovered. We were never extravagant spenders so we don’t miss unnecessary luxuries apart from our trips to America. You need to perhaps stop trying to compete with everyone else and live your own life - you’ll be happier for it.

😂

The misconception is that you should get sympathy from the lower earnings for having a high mortgage and HIgh-with-a-capital-H outgoings. Oh and your enormous tax bill.

Yes of course a family on £150 K should have more spare cash than a family on £50 K, it's basic maths.

And you would do except you're obviously spending more on your High outgoings than people on lower incomes!

What i never understand with these types of threads is how come someone clever enough to earn a huge salary is so stupid with money???

Ugh I’m sorry but I can’t stand posts like this. My partner and I have a combined income of approx £110k less than you and here we are, not complaining and posting about it 😂

OP - whilst you may not have everything your heart desires re: lifestyle - you do have something that many don’t have and that is options.
if you want to have a different lifestyle then look at ways of achieving that. You are lucky that you are educated and must have many years experience to earn the salary you do. You also have equity in a house which will have a higher value than other parts of the country. If you're that unhappy with your lifestyle then look at what options you might have living elsewhere and having a lower mortgage or if a different job/ employer/ work location would make you happier.
i don’t know about your circumstances so I don’t want to judge - but you are in a fortunate position which you will have options to change.

FFS another one of these bleeding heart posts from completely tone deaf people living in lalaland. Do you not realise quite how ignorant you sound? You do realise that not everyone 'in SE commuter belt' has big salaries don't you? I live there and our combined income is less than a third of yours. We live a normal frugal but happy life & are definitely not alone. I do also know plenty of people who have 2nd homes yet plead poverty or say things like 'you can't possibly retire on less than £50k a year' or suggest meals out at Michelin starred restaurants and be surprised when not everyone is keen as it's 'definitely worth paying the little bit extra'. Mind boggling.

Nails it.

So, so sick of these types of posts and I actually hope most if not all, are on the wind up and there aren’t actual real people out there who are on this type of income who are so dense and out of touch.

You can't afford to replace your car or buy new clothes but can go on a £15k holiday?? I think your priorities are off.

Spend the 15k on a car instead of a holiday?

I doubt it is a genuine post ladies. I wouldn't waste your time commenting.

I have an income of £50,828. I am a single parent and have 4 children. 1 adult, 3 at home. I have one long haul holiday each year, help my eldest out financially with things like white goods /furniture etc, lease a nice car, eat out regularly and although we don't splurge, the kids all have the nice clothes/days out etc. I rent and pay £1300/month for this. How you think you have to go without, on a salary more three times mine, baffles me.

You live in an area that only rich people can afford to live, do comparatively, you feel poor. Move to somewhere people have nothing, like a council estate on the outskirts of a large city and you'd be too embarrassed by what you have and would never consider writing this post.

Have you really failed to comprehend some people will have more money that you?

Luck and inheritance, would be my guess.

Apparently not. It's really very odd.

CatrionaBalfour

But still jealous of the people "wealthier" than they are to open a new thread.

The OP has stated she won't come back to the thread, presumably because after writing her agenda, she no longer wants to answer questions from posters.