To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

[Travelenthusiast]

Just that really. Mid-30s and we have what I have always seen as a healthy income of £180k per annum (obviously been lower when we were younger and increased over time), and had some family help - about £50k to buy our first house several years ago.

And i’m not complaining about our quality of life- I know we are lucky and can afford a good holiday every year, and a more expensive/ luxury holiday occasionally. DS does a few extra-curricular activities, we don’t have to worry about the food shop total (we aren't extravagant at all) and can afford to eat out a few times a month etc. And I know we are lucky as I grew up in a poor family and understand the stress and implications.

But we have a very modest 3-bed house (with a big mortgage), our car is ten years old and there’s no way we could replace it, we can rarely afford to replace clothes and shoes for us (of course do for DS), days out are thought through to reduce cost, would make pack lunches to take into work and don’t buy shop coffees, we could not afford private school, and often we cut out the eating out to add to savings instead- basically £ is not abundant. And we are relatively careful financially and not big spenders generally. None of this is me saying our life is bad- I know we are really luckily, but just trying to give an idea of limitations / life.

We do live in SE commuter belt (not london) where everything is very expensive.

But we are surrounded by families who have so much more, so apparently effortlessly. We are genuinely one of the only local families without a 4x4 (i know cry me a river 🤣). How do others have it all and have the big house, the new car, endless holidays, SAHM often, the new clothes, meals out, lots of savings? Is it simply that they earn much more? I know we are lucky but I just don’t understand how so many can be so wealthy? Could most of our network really have a household income over £200k?!

Inheritance
famiky support such a free childcare
health
age wheh they bought their first home(if at all)

are all the biggest factors in why it isn’t a level playing field

Comparison is the thief of joy, you earn more than most and are still not happy because your neighbours have more than you
Forget about the neighbours and focus on yourself
You should easily be able to live on what your income is

You’re overspending and frittering. With only one child you can easily afford a new car, private school if that’s your thing, holidays and eating out. Write down what you are spending and get a handle on it.

Move up north,I’m not normally one to judge but on that salary you are taking the piss.

It's not just the aspirational fantasy. It's the complete inability of so many people to value both themselves and the people around them on individual merit and attributes such as pleasantness, humour, loyalty, respect for learning, and so many other things. Instead we only seem to value things we can put a price on, which if you think about it is a really odd way of measuring self-worth.

I'm not interested in wearing my wealth or parking it outside the house for all to see. The ones who look down their noses at me because I'm wearing 20 year old clothes with frayed collars, or because my DCs coats come from Vinted rather than Versace, are people I'm not likely to rub along with anyway.

£400 council tax? I don’t think there’s a tax bracket in the UK that even comes close to that! Your figures are obviously just plucked from the air.

Our income is slightly less and we have so much money my partner saves £20k a year minimum

We live in London.

Let me guess, expensive tastes?

Yes many people know the price of everything but the value of nothing…

look at how the sick and disabled, young and old are treated

Don't worry op - it is a rare person who hasn't misjudged their tone or had their tone misjudged, especially in writing. You live and you learn eh. x

I don’t think that’s fair. I upgraded to my current car because:

• I spend a lot of time in it driving to new places and so I wanted a screen that was compatible with Apple Car Play
• My last car was needing work done on it every year
• It was diesel so becoming uneconomic
• I spent half my life in winter defrosting the car, and wanted a heated windscreen.

I’d like to upgrade my current car because I’d like heated steering wheel and heated seats, and I’d like to move to an electric car. I can’t justify the spend at the minute as it would be £40k+ to get what I want, and I’m not willing to spend that but I have reasons for wanting a new car that are more than it gets me from A to B. In fact, I can justify a new car way more than I could justify new clothes, or even a new phone (which a lot of people replace every few years when the old one is just fine).

I live off 20,000. Solo parent, live in similar priced area on coast. Child attends extra curricula. Have 13 year old car and still manage. Don't eat out or go on holiday but have no debt whatsoever
You just live to your means. You're obviously not

As I said to OP, not everyone living there is commuting into London and earning mega money! There are still TA's, cleaners, retail & hospitality staff etc earning minimum wage who manage to live in the area. Compared to our relatives in the NW we do feel significantly poorer despite being on similar incomes. Obviously not everything is more expensive here but as a few examples, B&SIL live in a 3 bed semi like us - £80k mortgage paid off. We have 10 years left on our £180k mortgage and are frankly, bloody lucky it's so little purely because we are old enough to benefit from house price rises. I used to pay £7ph for my DC's childminder 5 years ago (per child) my SIL now only pays £4.20ph. G&T in my local pub £7.40, £4.90 in hers.

We have a combined income of c.£55k and we manage OK. We socialise with some very wealthy people who I suspect would never in a million years imagine we earn 'so little'. But please don't think everyone in the SE is rich.

There’s plenty of areas in which you could pay over £400pcm in council tax.

My parents are paying this on their pretty modest detached house (which I could never afford 😂). We are not in the SE.

Think so 😂
Obviously bored

This is just disingenuous. Our household income is about £165k, and that equates to c. £7.5k of take home. So a lot of the £15k you refer to is gone in tax before it hits the bank.

Take aways cost money as does a nice holiday each year
A lot of people pay £400 a month to lease a new car
But you spend that money on holidays and takeaways .
You can't have it all wAys

I think you just sound terrible at budgeting. £15k on a holiday but can’t afford a newer car?

180k and can’t afford clothes, fuck off 💩

Ours is over £400 month….we’re in East Sussex. Plenty of other Councils are around this amount if not more depending on the property banding.

OP, you are stealth boasting to cover your insecurities . I can also guess that you somehow made your mumsnet ID known to people around you so they think you are rich.
If you have a budget of £15k for a holiday, you can absolutely afford a SUV.

Oh please. Come back when you have real problems.

Judging by your name, you prioritise travel. So do I.

But because I have some other large family expenses, I stay in bargain AirBNBs. My last holiday was to Greece in December and I paid Euro 50 per day for an AirBNB. It was perfectly fine.
I would rather travel, have weekends and go to the theatre than run a car in London where I really don;t need it, so we got rid of our car.
My clothes are mostly from M and S, Uniqlo, Albaray, and charity shops.

Even high earners have to make choices.

You must be doing something really wrong

There is no way on earth you can't afford clothes and shoes on your earnings! So you clearly were trying to wind people up!