To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

[Travelenthusiast]

Just that really. Mid-30s and we have what I have always seen as a healthy income of £180k per annum (obviously been lower when we were younger and increased over time), and had some family help - about £50k to buy our first house several years ago.

And i’m not complaining about our quality of life- I know we are lucky and can afford a good holiday every year, and a more expensive/ luxury holiday occasionally. DS does a few extra-curricular activities, we don’t have to worry about the food shop total (we aren't extravagant at all) and can afford to eat out a few times a month etc. And I know we are lucky as I grew up in a poor family and understand the stress and implications.

But we have a very modest 3-bed house (with a big mortgage), our car is ten years old and there’s no way we could replace it, we can rarely afford to replace clothes and shoes for us (of course do for DS), days out are thought through to reduce cost, would make pack lunches to take into work and don’t buy shop coffees, we could not afford private school, and often we cut out the eating out to add to savings instead- basically £ is not abundant. And we are relatively careful financially and not big spenders generally. None of this is me saying our life is bad- I know we are really luckily, but just trying to give an idea of limitations / life.

We do live in SE commuter belt (not london) where everything is very expensive.

But we are surrounded by families who have so much more, so apparently effortlessly. We are genuinely one of the only local families without a 4x4 (i know cry me a river 🤣). How do others have it all and have the big house, the new car, endless holidays, SAHM often, the new clothes, meals out, lots of savings? Is it simply that they earn much more? I know we are lucky but I just don’t understand how so many can be so wealthy? Could most of our network really have a household income over £200k?!

This has to be a wind up surely lol. I live in the SE commuter belt too and our combined income is less than a third of yours. We don’t live a lavish lifestyle and our mortgage is hideous at the moment but we do manage to make ends meet.
If you’re seriously struggling, you need to go through your finances to see where you’re losing money.
But honestly your lifestyle sounds pretty nice so I would suggest keeping a gratitude journal. The fact that you can buy groceries and not have to total up everything as you go around or put things back before checking out is one of the biggest luxuries you can possibly ask for and should really stop taking for granted.

This is just one of those posts written to say “look at me earning £180k” if you do have a Just Giving Page let me know I can spare a fiver. Maybe that’ll help you fund your £15k holiday.🙄😡

I am receiving benefits? This is news to me. What benefits would those be exactly or is this just your snobbery and classism on display?

The fact is OPs take home is exceptionally high. She just is not managing her money well.

I know what you mean OP

i think most people live well beyond their means

“Packed” lunch

We earn around 70k combined per year...

We have a small house, 2 cars (10 & 6 years old), basic bills, some school costs (bus, dinners etc) and we have been on 4 holidays in the last 12m... One to Spain (3 star package bog standard), One 5 star Mauritius for 2 weeks, Dubai for a week over Xmas and new year and just came back from a 3 week trip to Australia, Bali and Singapore...

It's all about priorities...

Our household income is around £35k and we’ve been on much less. I have also worked hard all my life and have a degree etc.
Its a combination of age, redundancy, SEND child with us but at your age I was on less then half of your annual income and worked 60 hours sacrificing the family I might have had otherwise. Also lots of wider family issues I’ve had to juggle over the years including serious mental health and bereavement. You are so lucky to be in this position and I assume have everyone healthy and well. You obviously live in a very wealthy bubble. I also live in one but am very much at the poorer end of that but still can count my blessings on a good day.

Can't believe you can't manage on 180 K.
Do you have a really bad Coke habit?

As for other people living the good life?
That seems to be the ideal.

Some will be high earners and legit. But scratch under the surface and you may see a lot if tax dodging, trusts undisclosed snd overseas incomes
Massive debts and even criminal activitites.

Think the leafy Cheshire East Suburbs which are so beloved of status seekers and success. Fur coats and no nickers type llow life and footballers wives.

I also think, you need to get a new top dog creative accountant. You know the type where one and one equals three.

Believe me there are loads of well off people swinging the lead on this one.l

They roll up to food banks in their Jeeps and BMW's in designer clothes, a herd of pedigree dogs with gangs of kids behind them

Also if you want a nice big free car. Why don't you apply for PIP Motobility?

This is now a huge scheme and subject to massive abuse Totally out if control.

Tell the DWP you and the kids are suffering from mental health problems around stress and anxiety.

Because you can't afford a big car and that they can't go on multple annual foreign holidays and attend private schools?

You can't cope and you are at breaking point!

You sound as though you have never done a decent days work in your life

What a Marlarkey!!!

You haven't hurt anyone. Posters are deliberately misunderstanding you out of spite and jealousy. You've made it clear how lucky you feel to have your income but are just wondering how there's so much more affluence about. It's a valid question.

This makes me feel nauseous. You sound like you have no idea how most people in this country are living.

You’re either clueless or a bored journo. Either way this is nauseating.

Fuck off 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wondering about people's ability to afford very expensive things makes you nauseous? Perhaps you should have your stomach seen to...

Op is wondering if she can't afford these things on such a high income, who can? It's fair enough to wondering about that.

*wonder

Holidays, especially “luxury” ones, are things people pay for out of savings AFTER they’ve paid for essentials like, you know…shoes and clothes. Maybe try that?

This ^

Whining? This is so annoying! I'm sure op worked hard to get to where she's at. Did you? And I'm sure while she was doing all that hard work, she assumed it was going to lead to some serious financial rewards. You can't hate her for wondering why she can't afford to live a very affluent lifestyle when she's earning as much as she does.

You do realise that some of the hardest working people are on the crappest wages right?

Absolutely. I'm a primary school teacher. What I'm not is a begrudge.

*Begrudger

I get it op. You could live in the area I do which is like this and yes, lots of households have higher income. DH and i are quite similar to lots of friends and neighbours. Household income is £300k

If you have one earner on 120 and one on 60k you could be paying more tax than 2 earners on 90k, it could make quite a big difference.

There are something like 2 million people in the uk earning over 100k and they are concentrated in the south east & london.

What a nasty thread!
I often hear posters rebuking ‘benefits bashing’ whilst being perfectly happy to admonish someone doing well with their earned money.
The COL living crisis is relevant to all. Sure, op won’t be struggling to eat or heat her home. But in areas of the UK, just childcare and a mortgage on a modest home could swallow over half of that income.

Sorry are you having a laugh, 180k, we earn about 80k between us, don't scrimp on anything, go to florida once a year, splash out at Christmas, kids do whatever classes they would like and we still have money left over to save. We also live in the SE, Hertfordshire if that helps

Our combined income is around £40,000. We have a semi in South East London. We have a couple of holidays a year and many outings. However we're not extravagant-into designer clothes etc as feel they're a bit of a take on and we are careful not to waste money. We save approximately £300 monthly too.
I can't imagine earning as much as £180,000 and not being able to manage - you should be rolling in it!