To feel jealous of a puppy?

[Onlythedoglovesme]

I’ve been with my partner for a year and very much in love. We have had a great time traveling, bike riding and hiking and had planned lots this summer, I was hoping we would go abroad together. I love dogs but don’t have one as I love travel, I had one when I was married but I think the puppy days led to my divorce as it kept us apart. My new partner and I spend most of our time together and talk about moving in together. I have my kids half the time, good relationship with ex husband. My partner loves dogs and has wanted one for years but never been settled enough. He told me out of the blue this weekend he was going to see a puppy - 8 hours later he had seen the puppy and rung me to tell me he is getting a dog. A week after this news the puppy arrives. My first reaction was not good, total shock and I feel really thrown, I burst into tears and couldn’t speak. I can’t believe he didn’t talk it through with me. I would have been happy and said it’s a good idea, but I feel he hasn’t considered my feelings at all. I feel a fool and that I have misread the relationship as more serious than it must be to him. He says he only heard about the puppy a day before telling me and this is because he feels so happy and content. I don’t want to be negative or spoil this amazing moment for him but I am really hurt, my life has changed massively without my consent. Am I being unreasonable? Will we ever travel again? Is it the end of the road?

Yep, so very different to the poster I originally quoted who said also only puppy farmers have wait lists…😁

I understand you are shocked that your partner bought a dog without mentioning it to you.

There are places that look after people’s animals whilst they go on holiday, so you can still do the things you wanted to do.

My experience is that kc reg don’t do wait lists and only start an expression if interest list once they know how many puppies they have. Wait lists tend to be those who breed multiple times a year… so I’m not convinced that’s a sign of a good breeder.

i have one kc reg pup who was planned for months, lots of research etc, and our sprocker was a lovely family who wanted to experience puppies with their much loved family dog. They loved the experience but said never again and were teary when we collected her. She’s the most wonderful puppy ever. Dad was kc reg mum was a sprocker. We met mum and other pups. They had 2 families cancel last minute so we saw her advertised, made contact and visited all within 3 days, bringing her home. Definitely a moment of madness but the best thing we could have done. That said, we already live the dog lifestyle so didn’t have the adjustment.

Have a conversation about what your relationship looks like with a dog. We still go on holiday but have a trusted person who looks after them.

It's fine and normal to say you adopted a dog, but it implies you rescued her, not that you paid £££ to some greedy breeder or puppy farmer for a pup. I adopted one sweet pup from a shelter (from the litter from a poor beautiful dumped pregnant bitch), and bunged a couple of hundred to a farmer for an unwanted (surplus to requirements) sheepdog pup of three months (the goodest girl but she was trying to eat the sheep. Much better as a couch guardian).
And if my husband or boyfriend as he then was had got his knickers in a twist over not being consulted, he'd have been cordially invited to do one.

It seems very odd he's done this after your announcement about your previous dog driving a wedge between you and your ex.

If you're sure he's not taking steps to end the relationship, I can only assume that conversation was the reason he didn't mention anything about the pup, as he knew you'd try and talk him down. If this is the case he either values owning a dog over your relationship or he assumes you'll fall in love with the pup and he gets to keep both of you!

Only read the first page but I understand, OP. I'd be a bit baffled/upset. Would think he wasn't serious about me. Would also worry about the impulsiveness - yeah, he's always wanted a dog, but it's very sudden and you'd have thought he'd have invited you along to meet the pups too. Idk.

He is very independent which I admire, but usually very considerate and careful. He spends hours choosing and discussing pros and cons of things like rucksacks.