Daughter - Nipple piercings , no bra and tight top

[Lardychops]

My daughter is a star. A cracker. Love her to pieces and have a great relationship.
She is 27 nearly 28 and a mum of three lovely boys.
As a teen she missed the whole social media, influencer malarky and as a young teen single mum ( before she later married and had two more kids) was mainly focused on baby, college, friends, going out if opportunity presented and getting by as one does.
Since my daughter’s marriage has broken down and she is now enjoying the bittersweet EOW freedom it brings she has dipped her toe in OLD- fair play - enjoys social media appears to have discovered ‘hotness’. By which I mean someone who previously traded on and enjoyed natural ‘ prettinesss’ and a sort of girl next door young mum persona- being ‘sexy’ now seems to be key. Fair play.
It started with Botox lips and forehead fillers. Then an arm sleeve tattoo of a pin up girl with breast exposed. Okay all good, works hard, saved up, her choice etc, nobody else’s business.
Clothing more recently has become more sexualised I have noticed - pink velvet ‘juicy’ track suits or bum scrunch leggings and crop tops. Again, no judgement here. She is my daughter and I think while it’s a bit of a change she can rock the look- no harm done.
I am reeling, however, at the most recent change.
Pierced nipples ( bars not rings) and she often wears no bra and tight Lycra tops. Very obvious and worn with pride. Oldest grandchild (10) hates it, Giggled at first until his friends older brother said ‘your mates mum must be a porn star on only fans ‘ Grandson has said on numerous occasions to me and his grandad I don’t like people looking at mums boobs all the time at school pick up or in park/recebt camping trip days out etc
I find it very disconcerting, her dad doesn’t know where to look. People ( men) in the street either stare or look embarrassed or judgemental/horrified esp if we have all the kids in tow.
I mentioned this to her politely pointing out that piercings of this nature are part of the adult world due to the area of the body and the sexualised implications, and not something her kids need to be exposed to or worrying about when other people notice them
I was told I am being old fashioned which is bananas as her older siblings have had every fashion phase under the sun without any worry from us. Also her lesbian great aunts are confirmed naturists in their own private shpere and that has been the case since the 1990s. So no prudes here!
I just feel that this crosses a line. And if your eldest child is upset by it as it he is starting to get the gist that there is a sexual undertone blatantly on show then surely enough is enough ?

A bra , nipple covers and less revealing tops are surely the answer - or take them out of bra less in a tight top
It’s not the nips - that’s part of the female body -it’s the piercings I’m struggling with and now my grandson worried I’m finding it’s taking up a huge amount of headspace to the point I’m blinking posting about it now at nearly midnight!!

Daughter finds it hilarious and states nobody has right to police her body etc

AIBU

When did men sexualise breasts? And just men? Not women?

I mean it's biological that women's breasts are sexualised.

Ooh, very difficult situation! Poor girl and poor kids too. Wasn’t it great when people weren’t strident about forcing others to collude in silence. It’s a form of control over others responses that is very insidious. Numbing yourself to put up with someone else’s crisis is part of why our society is in mental health crisis.

I think she's probably having her teenage years now, having not had much of a chance to do so before. Teenagers much prefer to rebel against anything unfair and talk about their rights than to just do whatever the simplest thing is. The complicating factor is, she IS right that no one should be staring at her body or making lewd comments no matter how she's dressed; so you will definitely lose this argument. Definitely, any boys making such comments should be tackled and also have to explain to their mothers what they've been looking at online, in RL and how they behave to their friends. The problem is, she cannot control if this will actually happen. It's not her boys who are making these comments but they will be the ones forced to defend her. If it was just visible nipples or short summer clothing I'd agree she shouldn't have to change anything, but I think she has crossed a very noticeable and sexual line by deliberately highlighting her nipples. Anyway, the best way to tackle a teenage mindset is to consider their look too boring to talk about. The less said, the sooner it will become passe. If you must mention it, avoid the rebellion buttons by asking what she will do, rather than by telling her what she should do: "OK, you must think this looks really good, if you're willing to let grandson be uncomfortable over it. You're not wrong that his friends shouldn't say anything, but I don't know what your plan is to help him out with that?"

Isn't it quite normal for teens to find their parents embarrassing though?

I remember being mortified that my father rode motorbikes instead of driving a car. Now I'm old and my embarrassment threshold has grown over the years, I think it was probably quite cool.

I'm not