To stop my son visiting his gfs parents property - serious concerns!

[Lifeof6]

Long and wild one.
Just don't know what to do.

For context we are married with 4 children, this subject is about our (just) 17 year old son.

My son has been in a relationship for 12 months with a girl who is 16. (He was 16 when they met, her 15.) From the beginning I felt there was an odd relationship with the mother being involved. For example when her daughter was 15 I would be hounded with messages from the mother to let my son stay, despite me saying it's inappropriate. Every other day I'd get messages from the mum with excuses why he needs to go to their house. Many times my son asked me to cover for him reasons for him not to go.

Recently my son collapsed and had a fit in street I was there and his gf. It is the first time anything like this has happened. Fast forward to a&e and I noticed the gf had phoned the mother and she arrived at the hospital.

I observed strange behavior - the mum n gf constantly taking him outside, whispering in his ear in a&e and when I became suspicious something is going on I tried to speak to my son but they came in closer. My husband tried to take him outside to talk and they both followed him!

Then the mother suggested I just get him seen by GP I said no he had a severe medical episode and it's not appropriate. Again she suggested it and I said no.

She proceeded to take him outside and said he's going to her house! I went after them pleading he needs medical attention, shouting for help and my husband got a police officer that was luckily there.

Officer thankfully said no he can't just abscond and he is a minor. After lots of talking they went away.

My sons results were abnormal and requires further tests and treatment.

I rang social services, I am in fear he is subject to emotional control/ cohesive behavior. I messaged the mother and stated that my son is not to go to her property.

She (the mum) messaged half of the family she found on social media, said how is he, tell him we will see him later, when is he coming over etc (my sons phone was broken at the time)

Later that day police attended to say there was a report from a third party that he is abused etc by me. my son quickly cleared it up and said it's just them causing trouble.

My son left some belongings at a friend's so we went to collect them, we were told by his friends parents that the gf and her mum have taken his stuff, the gf mum told them the police are getting my son and bringing them to her care!

I phoned my son's collage about his absence and was informed someone claimed to be me to ask if he was in college.

I am losing my mind. I mean what on earth! I phoned the police for help. At the moment I don't know what to do!

We are trying to talk to our son and give it a gentle approach.

I'm scared, having panic attacks and I have had to go of work (I'm a nurse) to deal with all this.
How bizzare is it tho? They don't even know us.
How can you report such evil things, especially them knowing I have a little boy at home!

This is a short version, I can't make sense of it

The police couldn't really do anything, social services I am ringing back tomorrow and I've flagged a serious safeguarding concern with his college.

My son said he won't go back to that house and agreed. But I don't know what I can do, he is 17.

@Lifeof6 it sounds like they've been been drip feeding him substances over a long time. The police and other agencies need to be involved now.

Is your son having full bloods done?

Was maybe spice they gave him to smoke rather than a joint I can't imagine any of my three children staying in a relationship with someone whose family has created such trouble for us as a family, so I hope he realises the severity of this and ends it. Did you tell her to get to fuck in the hospital?

that was on here. I wonder what happened in the end. I do think she posted an update at some point.

Just seen he's been having these symptoms 8 months. 😔 Did they do a tox screen?

They are massively dodgy. Who tries to get a sick child away from the hospital?!

I agree with other about asking for eldest to help you try and get to the bottom of it.

But also tell him you need to know anything he's been holding back so you have the full picture.

If this was me, I'd be going abroad for a week or two with him. Get him a bit of distance and with any luck while he is away they'll latch on to someone else.

You must be beyond worried. 😔😢

Yes he had a cancer referral initially that scanned everything and took many bloods.
He knows we will have his back no matter what, he witnessed his older brothers problems. He saw what we did despite how horrible he was to us at the time.
His brother is working now and happy and healthy and I am so greatful, he still lives at home and he's been very worried about his brother and is helping as much as he can.

I just don't know what to think anymore, lots been 3 days no signs of withdrawal etc. he's upstairs on a game with his best mate I can hear him chatting away happily.. I think he needed to get his head around it all.. hopefully he is making the right decision.

The gf just text him though to say the parents are dropping the things by our door and leaving....we will see how this pans out. He said he isn't going out to them.

My husband had an ex girlfriend’s mum sexually assault him when he was 13 so weirder things have happened.

I think you need to be straight with your son.

Sounds like drugs are involved, maybe he has some things he doesn’t want to tell you.

Report them to the police for stalking or harassment. Report to college. Let all agencies with your son’s records know not to give any details out to them and also his friends. Check your credit reports annd bank statements regularly in case they are using your name and address for things. Let your son know to do this too.

I was insane full on psycho running after them screaming for help telling her to stop. He ran to the officer who was in another room and said my wife has ran out after her you need to be quick. I would not have moved from the front of their car.

What a nightmare, if you haven’t already got a ring door bell might be worth thinking about.

The gf just text him though to say the parents are dropping the things by our door and leaving....we will see how this pans out. He said he isn't going out to them

I would see if you can get their registration number, not sure why but it might be useful.

Have one already. X

I do think this would be taken more seriously by the police etc if he were a girl which is awful.

As a secondary school teacher I became aware of some situations where senior pupils became enmeshed with the families of friends or boy/girlfriends and finished up staying with them.

Your situation sounds like a much worse version of this, with the other family determined to take control of your son.

I agree with those who have said that your elder son may be able to get to the bottom of this.

Sadly this is true.

Op try The Children's Society, they do work with children who are risk of being exploited and abused. They were very good with our son.

Where drugs are concerned nothing surprises me. I hope your son comes to his senses & never touches drugs again nor has anything else to do with this family.

Have you questioned him about the possibility this family may have got him involved in selling drugs. They seem to have an unusual & inappropriate hold on him. It sounds quite scary OP & it's no wonder you are worried. I hope this is not the case but worth considering. I hope it all works out for the best & your son gets well again 💐

If something sinister is going on what would their motive be, OP? Is your family quite a bit wealthier than theirs by any chance?

Could it be spice mixed with cannabis? I read something just a few days ago about the terrible effects that could have. It was something to do with laced vapes mixed with smoking cannabis.

Their behaviour is definitely extremely strange, I think you have to keep emphasising that to your son. It sounds like a hellish nightmare and I hope it’s resolved.

That is exactly what I thought too.

The gf just text him though to say the parents are dropping the things by our door and leaving....we will see how this pans out. He said he isn't going out to them

Check everything they leave ( is this his belongings?) make sure there's no AirTag in there hidden to track him.

(Yes I;m probably paranoid but I've read about women having tags dropped into their bags etc ).

Goodness only knows what sort of drugs are around these days, it's such a worry.
It's very strange (among all the strange things that have happened to you op) is that the girl's father seems to be involved. I can't for one minute imagine a decent bloke waiting for 5 hours in a hospital car park for his 16 year olds boyfriend.

He has been unwell around 8 months.

So not long after meeting his gf?

thought that might be the case.

Is he outpatient now?

Stoners gonna stone.

It sounds awful @Lifeof6 I hope the drop off goes without drama. Do they not check for drugs in AandE?

Hi OP, have a look into Munchausens by proxy (also known as medical child abuse). This is what it sounds like to me. I'm sorry you're going through this x

Sounds awful for you.