AIBU or is DH’s parenting choice here crap

[NoisyHeating]

NC but long time poster. My washing gets ‘darked on’ sometimes. AIBU or was this not great parenting by DH;

DS 13 had been gaming with DH all evening. I am ill so had gone to bed. 11pm I go to loo and DS still up. His bed linen is on the floor. DH in bed.

I ask how come he’s not in bed (should be lights out 10.30) and he says ‘dad won’t put my bed sheets on’.

I ask DH and he’s basically told DS to help put bed linen on (he’s never had to help with this chore before, DH had stripped the bed earlier then not put the fresh linen back on) and DS has said no, he’s too tired. He is is coming down with the same thing as me and it’s exhausting so I imagine he was a bit whiney. So DH had just left him and gone to bed.

So I know a 13 year old is capable of putting bed linen on but AIU to think that insisting on it for the first time at 11pm at night, when he is coming down with a cold, is tired and he’s never had to do it before is a bit daft? And then is it U that he went to bed? Had I not happened to go to the toilet DS might have stayed up all night or fallen asleep on the sofa.

Or was DH right to put the boundary in and leave him to it if he wouldn’t help.

Context is they are both stubborn and DH has a tendency to talk to DS in a pretty Sergeant Major tone which does tend to result in defiance.

In the end I did it with DS together.

AIBU to think that DH’s parenting was a bit off here and could have resulted in a very tired moody teen today? Setting him up to fail again?

You’re both to blame if your 13 year old can’t change a bed. Unless some send we don’t know about. My 13 year old has been changing her own bed since she was 9/10 or even younger. Sometimes I’m kind and will do it for her but she often just does it herself. The 15 year old with send struggles more and needs help but can actually do it herself as well.

Unless he’s putting on a flat sheet you don’t need to teach THIRTEEN year old where the four corners will On a fitted sheet go.

and the open end of a pillow case is how the pillow goes on.

DH is unreasonable for teaching the lesson at 11pm as it should’ve been done before the video games.

i don’t think it needs to be a lesson as he should start trying and ask for when he gets stuck. 13yo is making excuses because he doesn’t want to do it and DH in bed because he doesn’t want to supervise.

if he can’t figure out a video game he figure out a sheet. Let’s not be ridiculous

I'd be unhappy about this.. he should of said come on let's get your bedding on ill help you it's late lights out after this ...

Just read this again so he did say help to put bed linen on and son refused.
I think he was in his rights to say to help when he said no I'd of took gaming away unless he helped.

And she/he would stand over them until they sorted it!! Wow.

He did and ds refused to help...

Sorry Nikki, quoted you before I saw this!