To discuss the societal impacts of older parents?

[Kindersurprising]

I feel like this is a really under-discussed area, particularly as it’s now really extremely common (particularly in middle class circles) to have a first baby after 30 and in many cases 35+.

I feel like in 20 years we are going to see quite a big impact, in adults having fewer (if any) siblings due to parental age, caring for elderly parents while having small children themselves, a lack of grandparent support and I guess a smaller family circle much earlier on. I only realised today that it will be vanishingly rare for kids to have great grandparents soon - my DC have only one, through me.

The positives are often cited as more money, and more life experience.

I was 30 when DC2 was born, so somewhere in the middle and not a young parent as such. I often wonder what it would be like to have had them earlier.

How do you think this will play out in the next 20-50 years?

yeah, 25 year olds should stop buying coffees and avocados and they’ll be able to buy housing that’s ten times their salary…

yeah, 25 year olds should stop buying coffees and avocados and they’ll be able to buy housing that’s ten times their salary…

they can buy whilst still at uni if they just stop being so selfish! 😆😆

Ah well, it didn't destroy my career , but I did have a very strong CV and made some strategic career moves knowing I wanted to start my family by 30.

And I had quite a few other colleagues who managed to as well

Agree. In my career, we've all done 3 degrees (undergrad, masters, PhD) so only get started career wise late 20s at the earliest. I was a bit older at 32. It often requires relocating meaning it can be hard to find a partner/maintain a relationship. And it takes years to get established, lots of short term contracts etc. It's rare for anyone in my field to have a child under 35. Many are much older, if they have children at all.

All the old parents should be taken out and shot. Or jailed at the very least. How dare they destroy society in this way. Evil bastards.

And let's their neurotypical non disabled perfectly well adjusted off spring staigh into care or at least hand them over to some young parents who will sort out this terrible societal catastroph.

That’s bollocks though, I’ve seen some incredibly nuanced and thoughtful chats about the positive and negative impacts of being an older parent. I suggest you look around more.

But if you have a very good career (the type I assume they are referring to) it is perfectly possible to have heaps of fun in your twenties and buy a nice house and have a decent chunk of savings in time to have children by 30.

You need to earn serous money for that which even very good careers don't pay until you have been in the role some time.

The biggest factor in me getting on the housing ladder and having my dc at 31 & 33 was the fact DH & I had a 6 fig deposit cash gift from family...

The statistics show that the average age in the uk of first time buyers is over 30. It’s not something you can disagree with. Even then, the majority have parental help for the deposit.

yes some careers are less competitive and are established more quickly. But 27 is very unusual for a graduate or professional these days. Are you perhaps basing your disdain on your experience that happened 40 years ago?

Once again. : such an assumption that birthing children in your 20s equals poor , uneducated, no financial security.

Once again : married, home owner , career (progression came later) completed aged 27. I'm sick of this assumption that only the "proper" "worthy" people have children in their 30s+. Such a misconception

🤣 nice try. I'm much, much younger than that.

If you start off with a flat or a 2 up 2 down - that's progress, so long as you're buying it. If someone really wants it and are part of a couple, you can get on the property ladder in your early 20s. You just have to more or less write off any form of luxury and live like a pauper until you get the deposit. You then move up Into detached /bigger/better when the equity builds. Depends what your priorities are.

Unless you think that being an only child is a negative then I don't see what could be so bad about it?

My grandmother had my mum and her 4 siblings from aged 36-42, this was in the late 30s- early 40s. Apparently older births weren't that uncommon back then. Surprisingly to me anyway.

My mum was also older when she had me but not by choice as she had two others who died in childbirth in her 20s. Most of my peers mums are a bit older and the friends I have with kids all started in their mid- late 30s. I guess I've always thought of it as quite ordinary.

I'm very happy caring for my lovely mum. It's the least I can do after all the love she gave me!
I'm sad I did have to lose my dad when I was a child though. So childhood bereavement is the only negative I can think of from older parenthood.

Really? To buy a sensible family house and live a reasonable lifestyle.

If you are saving from when you start earning it's still very possible on a decent salary.

I think it's fine to say with a more modest career it's very hard. But i've been responding to the posters upthread claiming it's the professional elites having babies late. As if it's just lesser, socially and intellectually inferior parents having babies in their late twenties /early thirties and almost implying we are somehow delinquent. Yet if they really are as successful as they claim then that delay in parenthood not really and truly about finances, it's about only wanting to have a baby if you can live a very particular lifestyle on those salaries. Or it's just about prioritising career and having fun for many years hich is fine too, of course it's fine, but it doesn't make those who are ready for and prioritised children much sooner any "less" as people or parents.

You then move up Into detached /bigger/better when the equity builds. Depends what your priorities are.

Have you seen what has happened to flat prices in many parts of London post Brexit? property ladder doesn't really work like it used too.

Really? To buy a sensible family house and live a reasonable lifestyle.

To have fun in your 20s, buy a house in your 20s & save a decent chunk & have a child at 30? This would certainly take some money.

I think in general we should be looking at structuring society more around how we meet the needs of older people. We're at below replacement birth rate and already have just slightly more people aged over 65 than we do aged under 15. Our demographics have changed massively in the space of a few generations and we haven't caught up yet with the reality of what that means. Having children later in life isn't such a big deal - in fact it makes sense now we're living longer.

I'm 60, I knew when I was 16 I did not want children while I was still in my 20s. Many of my contemporaries graduated, married and had children putting their careers on the back burner. This was never me and I have no time for the argument you can do career after having kids before you have established it and do double-income-no-kids lifestyle and travel afterwards. Being an older parent is better for many of us.

But the bottom line is that there will always be young and old parents and society will cope.

Way back when my grandparents on both sides had 9 kids. So in no way could they be of an age to look after the kids of their younger children. So many myths about demographics, of which this is just one permutation.

Very unusual, to be in last year of uni at 20 and also have an income to buy a house. But you say you did it. So well done I guess.

Yes but it's perfectly achievable if you are earning very well and you don't go out spending everything you earn.

👏👏👏

When the hell did I say I was 20?

Nigel Farage is trying to breed an army of idiots. The world is going to hell in a hand cart and people are worried about older parents. Climate change feels way more fucking pressing. If the planet is an inferno in 50 years, the notion of over breeding/populating becomes totally obsolete.

I'm so sorry... Someone has a similar name to me 😆

I'm 60 and I've never lived in an area where a million pound house was a mansion. We are 50 mins out of London and a detached 4 bed on a main road in 800k, a quiet street 4 bed semi is 650-700.

But i've been responding to the posters upthread claiming it's the professional elites having babies late. As if it's just lesser, socially and intellectually inferior parents having babies in their late twenties /early thirties and almost implying we are somehow delinquent.

Nobody has said people having dc in their early 30s are delinquents! Do you have any female friends that are dentists, surgeons, lawyers, etc? those jobs can be demanding and all consuming with years of training & working hard. Often women need to get to a certain stage so they can have dc