Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

[ML5]

Just wondering - friends husband is running in the Marathon tomorrow but she’s not attending to watch him as she’s busy at home & even if she does go chances are she won’t be able to see him from the crowds she said. Is this a mean thing to do or AIBU to think that

I feel that a lot of these 'charity' events are largely for the participant's benefit.

Personally l wouldn't bother watching a charity parachute jump, even by President Trump...

...unless, perhaps, President Zelensky had packed the parachute. 😱

Does she even live in London? I didn’t watch my husband as we were 200 miles away in Leeds and my DS was quite little then.

Actually, are you actually his mother? This is the kind of thing my MIL would feel about me not cheering for her son.

I feel the same way, I’m proud of my DH for his achievements when he runs marathons but he does several a year, as well as other races, am I supposed to traipse up and down the country? I go to the odd one but I think some enthusiasm and telling him I’m proud of him is plenty!

I'm running GNR later in the year. DH has no interest at all, either do DC.
I'm.going with friends. He's doing me a huge favour for want of a better word. Keeping DC at home and entertained.

Wow there are a lot of killjoys on this thread. I totally get not going if he runs loads of distance events but it's different if it's a first. I've only run one marathon (London) and I saw my husband in 5 different locations (we planned it meticulously and he was ruthless on public transport). It meant the world to me and actually kept me going during my death spiral at the Isle Of Dogs. I also saw all the friends who came to watch (but don't begrudge them staying in one place 😅).

Although I do also completely get that everyone is different and allowed to choose for themselves what they do. I'm not against OP's friend's decision. More just the doom and gloom on the thread of it being a pointless activity. It's an amazing atmosphere on marathon day! (I've also cheered on a friend in a previous London marathon so I can speak from the other perspective as well)

It's incredibly difficult to spot someone in a big city marathon, even if you have tag tracking. I've done it twice and it was incredibly boring, and stressful because it feels so important to see them and for then to know you have, yet there's a sea of people all wearing similar clothing and it's close to impossible to find them.

My friend wrote a red cap to make it easier. I still nearly missed him, despite staring and scanning the field intently for half an hour. .

So mind your own business. She probably knows what it entails, and recognises that it's simply not worth it.

As you’re so keen to be in her business why don’t you go @ML5 ? It might give you more to occupy your time with than being a shit friend.

If it’s his very first marathon I may judge her a little. Otherwise - not at all.
i doubt it matters to him either way.

My friend didn't watch her husband. She said her support was in not throttling him when he was moaning his feet hurt for the next week.

I think that's fair enough.

People run marathons for their own gratification. You don’t share it with your family. He’s probably been out of the house for more hours anyone can count. In fact he’s probably obsessive. I’d let my DH get on with it. It’s just another day he’s doing exactly what he wants.

Surely this is between them. Is he devastated or indifferent?

If it was a one off I’d go. If it was a regular thing he did I wouldn’t.

Don't find it odd she’s not though. It’s very busy.

Do you run? Because thinking anyone gets anywhere near the finish line in most races sounds like you don’t. No one gets to watch their loved one ‘cross the finish line’ for any big marathons IRL.

I run. DH stays at home and looked after DD when she was younger. THAT is amazing support.

It depends on why and if he wants her there / how much it means to have her there to him.

I would hate to sit alone for ages whilst my husband ran a marathon. Also it would feel like a waste of a day off , as I work full time. But, if he wanted me to go then I would to support him .

Honestly she’s probably supported him plenty, training for a marathon is a big commitment and when DH used to run guess who picked up the slack. I used to go watch races but quite frankly it’s a long day, you see them for seconds if lucky. It’s a massive achievement but that doesnt mean someone should be standing around all day just to say well done.

out of interest, why are you bothered?

Jesus you sound nauseating.

Mine runs ultra marathons along with various other shorter ones, I go to a couple a year, I’m delighted he loves it but I have better things to do!
I will add he runs with other people so he’s not completely alone.

If it was me, I’d follow the tracker and try to catch him a few times along the way and see him over the finish line. However I know plenty of partners that aren’t interested in their partners sporting/fitness stuff as they resent the fact it takes over their lives

If he doesn’t care then good for her. I would go but I would begrudge going in secret, watching organised running is not for me. Although I appreciate the charitable funds raised.

After spending half a dozen boring days watching thousands of strangers running past me in a blur, just so I could catch a glimpse of my (now ex!) H run by, I did the same and stayed home.

It is incredibly dull. Your friend obviously feels the same. I don’t blame her at all.

I find runners extremely boring to anyone apart from other runners. I totally understand why she wouldn't want to go and stand around for hours to perhaps see him for a second.

I can't imagine anything more boring than watching the London Marathon (or any marathon). I am with the wife. He wants to do it - fine, but I don't need to watch him (assuming I could pick him out) unless, of course it involves a pub and lots of ale - then I might.

It's an achievement the runners, not their family has chosen. No one made them do it. It's a hobby.

Personally I actually quite enjoy watching DP run marathons. I like checking the tracker and then hopping on transport to travel around the city to see him at multiple points. Granted I’ve done it with other friends and family and not with kids in tow! But it’s always been quite a fun experience for me. I like the atmosphere and feel very proud of him 🥇 we don’t have children yet though, so I’m sure that might change things in future.