AIBU to want to make a complaint about a physiotherapist?

[Toooldforallthisnow]

DH currently in hospital (NHS) after a fall, doing ok, but can't come home yet. He is being well looked after and has a physiotherapist who is seeing him regularly.

I visit DH most days, and I have seen this physiotherapist several times now. I have no complaint about the care she is giving DH and he seems very happy with her, indeed she is incredibly personable towards him - however, when speaking to me she is somewhat aloof to the point of rudeness. I am not one to let this sort of thing go unnoticed, so when I saw her yesterday, I asked her if I may have a word in private.

I told her that I was aware of her attitude towards me, and how I'd done nothing to warrant it, so asked if she could explain the reason for being so curt. She looked me in the eye and said that while she didn't expect me to know who she was, she remembered me from when I taught her in junior school.

I had a very brief career as a teacher during the very late 1980s. I hated everything about teaching, so much that after qualifying and taking a position in a school, I only spent eight months in the job. I left without completing a single academic year. I then retrained into another and completely different field, and moved some thirty or more miles away. I almost never speak of my time in teaching as it was the lowest point of my life, and I went on to make a new life for myself. Teaching was not for me and put it all behind me.

Long story short, physiotherapist said while she appreciated she had been one of the more (to use her words) "lucky" pupils, and that I'd only ever shouted at her, she remembered well how I'd smacked some of the other children, and even thrown someones desk across the room.

I cannot deny this, I was young (26) and although it wasn't technically allowed, smacking was something which still went on in schools. I don't remember doing it very often. I do remember shouting, and I do remember the incident with the desk, after a child had pushed me to my limit. It was soon after that I went on long-term sick. But no matter what, I never had a single complaint made against me by anyone.

I am shocked this woman remembers so much, I even wonder if in her mind she has exaggerated some of it, but regardless of that I think she is using it inappropriately to influence the way she speaks to me. She told me that while she realises she has been abrupt, she cannot forget the way I had been towards a group of children (from memory they would have been aged 9 or 10). She said I was more than welcome to make a complaint about her, but given that I am not her patient and that the reason for her being the way towards me has nothing to do with what she called the "protected characteristics" (I had to look that one up), there wasn't a great deal I could expect.

I have to admit, this altercation has riled me further. I am not denying my past, heaven knows I have admitted it here, but do I really have to be held hostage to it?

YABU - don't complain

YANBU - complain, this is not professional behaviour in this day and age.

And the award for the best short story goes to………….

I have read some corkers on MN before, but this takes the biscuit. You need to take a long, hard look at yourself OP. You have a lot of reflection to do.

My schooling occurred throughout the 80s. I don't recall any smacking or desk throwing.

You physically abused children. You are a child abuser.

Nobody gives a shit whether you were cut out to be a teacher or not and your self pitying attitude is quite frankly disgusting.

Make the complaint. I hope the patients wife can get together enough pupils to prosecute you with regards to historical physical abuse.

I was 9 or 10 in the late 80s. I only remember one teacher smacking a child and we were all shocked. I guarantee every child in the class remembers it to this day. It was neither normal nor OK.

"...this is not professional behaviour in this day and age"

You have some audacity to be questioning her professional behaviour. You assaulted CHILDREN when you had a professional role.

And you want to complain that she isn't nice to you?

As a teacher and a parent there is NO excuse for what you, an adult, did in that classroom, no matter what some others were doing. Corporal punishment had been banned, it was illegal, but you hit them anyway. She is being 100% professional, and, frankly, treating you far better than you deserve.

The ARROGANCE of your post astounds me. You DAMAGED those children, including her, to the point where she still remembers, very clearly, years on.

Shame on you. Apologise to her, then leave her the hell alone.

If you complain the rest of the staff will know you assaulted little children - will you then complain about how THEY subsequently become "aloof"?

@Toooldforallthisnow
You won't reply will you?
Why post this?
Attention seeking.

Thank god you left teaching, absolutely vile what you did. I’d treat you the same. Karma is what it is and it always come back to you

You've been very brave , OP, in being so honest and, quite predictably, people have laid into you.
We've all done things we're ashamed of, but few people would be so courageous as to admit it publicly.
I'm sure most new teachers make mistakes they would prefer not to discuss.
I think it was a bit wierd of the physio to be off with you, possibly unprofessional.
All the same, I wouldn't put in complaint.

This is the most unreasonable AIBU I've ever read on here!

Don't complain.
I had a teacher like you in the 80's, absolutely disgraceful.

she remembered well how I'd smacked some of the other children, and even thrown someones desk across the room

YOU want to complain about HER?

Wow you don’t show any remorse or Shane for what you did not any understanding of her reticence towards you. Just wow.

This.
Have you lost your mind? @Toooldforallthisnow

WTF? It's weird that the abused was 'a bit off' with the abuser? You have earned yourself a 🍩

I had teachers like the OP in the late 90s and early 00s. Including one who threw a desk across the room. I was in a serious state of panic and fear every day.

Are you fucking serious? What the fuck is courageous about moaning that the victim of your behaviour is being "aloof" to you and wondering if you can get them in trouble at work for it?

What's wrong with you? Seriously? I can almost guarantee if the physiotherapist had posted you'd be saying how awful the teacher was. You just can't see further than the end of your own nose. The person who first spoke must be right. Jesus.

Way to minimize what the OP. And play up what the physio is doing.

The reactions would have been very different if the OP had had any sense of shame or remorse. Had apologized to the physio. But, no, she’s playing the victim and wants to complain.

Why on earth are you "shocked" she remembers everything? People don't tend to forget others who bullied them .

Mid-1970s California here.
Most, if not all our teachers had been there for years - we all knew them. our older brothers & sisters had had them. They knew our families.
One year, a very young woman came to town to teach the music dept - what stands out to me is band, I don't know why. Gosh it was 50+ years ago and I don't even remember her name.
But she drove a weird litle car that sloped the same in the front as it did in the back - none of us had ever seen one before.
Anyhow, one day I was sitting in senior English when we heard screaming and yelling and my teacher opened the door to her chasing a student down the main hallway because… I never found out the reaaon. But I knew that kid - he was in the marching band, smart, nice, quiet, wouldn't say shite if he had a mouthful type.
Then my friends started lifting her car up and over a group of benches that formed a square hahaha - so there was no way to drive it out. Of course, no one saw anything.
There were a few more outbursts, a few more incidents, and she waa gone.
I don't remember if she lasted the full school year or not, but she should never have been a teacher with a temperment like that.

You must be joking OP! Complain about somebody who you mentally scarred for life.The Physiotherapist is doing her job,treating your husband,she has nothing to do with you.Just butt out.You sound devoid of common sense.

There are a lot of posts on here lately that I am sure cannot be genuine. This is one of them. If it is, then yes of course you can make a complaint and her regulating body will investigate whether she has breached standards. I think physios are regulated by the HCPC? However, it also sounds like you are admitting to a crime yourself and will need to speak about that when the investigation occurs, and probably need to be prepared that criminal charges could also be persued if indeed you committed an offence. Professional bodies would I imagine be bound to take action if it comes to their attention that an unreported crime is being disclosed. On that basis, I rather hope you do make a complaint.

Nah, she assaulted children.
She deserves the pile on!

Is this actually for real? I cannot believe how lacking in awareness some people are.

She is treating your husband well and she is professional towards him. You are not the patient.

This is not about you. In fact, you scarred her for life and she should be the one complaining, not you

OK

1. The OP is not very brave. She's an abusive ex teacher.

2.Yeah maybe we have all done things we are ashamed of but probably not physical and mental abuse of children. 3.She's not fucking courageous. Infact I'd say the opposite.

1. The physiotherapist owes her nothing she was not unprofessional or weird as you put it.
2. Your whole take on the OP is weird.