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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Meal Drama over £2

291 replies

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:16

My cousin invited myself and two other women out for a 'taster meal session.' I accepted right away. Another declined and the other woman my good friend stated she would come along. Today was the day of the meal and my friend came with her 18 year old daughter. We all sat together in a group of 4. When asked by the waitress regarding still and sparkling water, my cousin stated still. The waitress came back and poured the water into all 4 glasses. At some point during the meal my cousin went to drink some water and she noticed a lipstick stain, it seems my friend had drank from her glass and her own by mistake, it didn't seem like much, it seemed like only a few sips from the glasses as the majority of water was still in the glasses. My cousin asked for a new glass and my friend started to drink out of her own personal water bottle and didn't drink again from the glasses. My friends daughter also drank the still water.

My cousin asked for more water and I drew her attention to the fact she said still at first and did she mean it, she stated no and said she had meant tap. The waitress came back with more water and started to pour it into the glasses, my friend stopped her stating she didn't drink tap water. We continued on with the meal and had a great meal, ordering drinks etc. I believe my cousin asked for the bill and then my friend and daughter said they needed to go to the bathroom. The bill came before they left to the bathroom. The waiter stood waiting and my cousin asked if he could come back later, we did also mention the two other guests were in the toilet as he thought they had left for some reason. I added my bill up and my cousin added her bill up and I asked about the water as I noticed she had attributed a quarter of it. She stated everyone drank from it. I said okay and added a quarter onto my bill. The waiter came back and asked if we were paying now, I think it had been around six minutes since he had been at our table. My cousin paid and then asked are you paying and the waiter came over to me and asked how much I was paying, so I told him my portion and paid.

My friend and her daughter came back and sat down. As she was looking at the bill I tried to explain it to her twice and she looked annoyed and said yes yes, I know. As a discount on the bill had not been clear, I had wanted to explain it. I couldn't even explain to her that the water had been split 4 ways. She called the waiter over to pay and I asked her how much she was paying and she stated £94 and I stated the balance was £96. She looked visibly upset and said why was she paying for the water and if she was it was suppose to be split 3 ways not 4. To tell you the truth I couldn't really understand this argument. So I said her daughter was 18 and should be included in any split. Anyways she paid but was not happy. About 5 minutes after she left I got a text saying she was annoyed and other things, and that annoyed me. My cousin said I will pay her the two pounds give me her account details, but I didn't as I thought that might upset her more, so I texted her saying my cousin would pay, could she pass on her details.

So who is being unreasonable? My cousin or friend? To be fair its such a stupid fight and over £2. It boggles the mind.

I think my cousin should have paid for the water, but we shouldn't have drank any if we weren't prepared to pay towards it, regardless, if the waitress poured us a glass or not.

Also my friend believes we were a bit rude to pay without her and my cousin feels she was a bit rude to go to the bathroom before settling her bill as the bill came before she left, and she wasn't bursting to use it, she was just going to have a try because she had a long journey afterwards. My cousin thinks she could have tried after the meal, as we could have all sat and discussed the bill then.

OP posts:
Hastentoadd · 25/04/2025 22:29

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:58

They're both such lovely people and this seems so out of character. Friend always doing something to treat me. She's lovely like that. So it seems hard to understand falling out about £2

I would think your friends issue is more with your cousin and her penny pinching ways and not you, she was probably expecting something like this to happen so was a bit fired up when it actually did
I would stay out of it if I were you unless you want to text her and just say you will buy her a coffee the next time you meet

Penny pinchers drive me mad, it’s such petty behaviour

strawlight · 25/04/2025 22:29

I can’t believe either ell that faffing about nobody even left a tip.

#teamwaiter

lifeonthelane · 25/04/2025 22:30

Oh for goodness sake. I will never understand this adding up of "what I had" (unless there are big differences e.g. drinkers/non-drinkers). When you go for a meal with friends, you are not literally paying for what you eat. You are paying for an experience - the venue, the company, the treat as a whole! Just split the bill evenly between all parties. If you can afford the treat of going out for a meal, then you can afford not to quibble over a few pounds when splitting the bill.

Endofyear · 25/04/2025 22:32

Honestly who cares? It's 2 pounds!!

Merryoldgoat · 25/04/2025 22:33

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:40

It was a set menu price of £40 per person. We split the bill 4 ways. But my friend wanted the water split 3 ways I believe.

How can you be friends with someone like this?

IBelieveinSomething · 25/04/2025 22:37

I understand it’s not about the 2 quid. It’s about the hassle it’s caused. When it shouldn’t. YANBU

Charliecatpaws · 25/04/2025 22:39

I can’t believe that someone would question £2 ?

NotEntirelySerious · 25/04/2025 22:39

All this drama over a bottle of Peckham Spring. 😂

vincettenoir · 25/04/2025 22:41

This seems a bit bizarre to me.

CalleOcho · 25/04/2025 22:47

So I said her daughter was 18 and should be included in any split.

You were incredibly rude to say this.

To be fair, you, your cousin and your friend all sound like hard work.

You should have totalled up the bill together. Not when 2 people were in the toilet. You should have discussed splitting the water costs like adults.

I wouldn’t want to go out for a meal with any of you.

Snugglemonkey · 25/04/2025 22:47

I think your cousin was a dick about water for starters and that people should agree about water before anyone orders a thing. I prefer sparkling, so always say I will be ordering, and ask if anyone else will be. That way we can order a large bottle as opposed to multiple glasses. I would have a similar chat about still water. I would not order a bottle of that as I am happy with tap. That stuff should be cleared up pre bill.

The bill should be split and agreed upon together before anyone pays or leaves. You wait for people to return from the toilet. The only way it is ok to settle it with payers being present, is when one person covers the tab and tip and then the others pay their share (easier for restaurant staff).

To quibble about £2 though is madness to me. I couldn't handle the pettiness of this.

BakedAlaska12 · 25/04/2025 22:48

I know this isn’t the point but £12 for two glasses of wine and a coffee is very cheap

Busybeemumm · 25/04/2025 22:48

Neveranynamesleft · 25/04/2025 22:16

Thread of the day right here....

Thread of the week😅

largeprintagathachristie · 25/04/2025 22:54

Taking their coats and bags to the loo just as the bill came in suggests to me they hoped it would have been magically paid without their input by the time they came back.

dannyufcfan · 25/04/2025 22:55

Life is far too short for you to spend time giving this any energy, at all.

What a convoluted story all about £2.

Bumcake · 25/04/2025 22:59

Giving this nonsense any headspace is absolute madness. I’m kicking myself for the third of the OP that I read to be honest.

Flytrap01 · 25/04/2025 22:59

The entire episode is a case study in social over-sensitivity and communication breakdown. If blame must be apportioned, the friend was most unreasonable in response, but the cousin's assumptions created the groundwork.

Busybeemumm · 25/04/2025 23:00

I don't think the real issue here is the water. I think your friend thought the whole bill might be split 3 ways or something else annoyed her. Same for your cousin as might be annoyed your friend came with her 18 year old daughter. Whatever it is, it's not really about the money or the water. The £2 is a red herring.

Matronic6 · 25/04/2025 23:02

I think it's not so much about the £2, but more about the personalities. They both just want to be right.

Stay out of it and let them sort it out themselves.

theleafandnotthetree · 25/04/2025 23:03

All that fuss and the poor bloody waiter didn't even get a tip. He's the only one in this sorry/soggy saga I have sympathy for. Anyone who can be so self indulgent and/or financially comfortable to pay this kind of money per head for a lunch should be ashamed of themselves for arguing over £2 but especially for not leaving a tip.

Sofiewoo · 25/04/2025 23:04

Helpmysanity · 25/04/2025 21:55

She is pissed because you split the cost of your drinks (bottled water) but not hers (wine and coffee). It will be a principle thing I'm sure which I kind of get but wouldn't kick off over £2

She had a glass of the water! It’s not remotely comparable to her coffee or glass of wine.

sesquipedalian · 25/04/2025 23:04

What a storm in a teacup. I hope you’re never going to this restaurant again - quibbling over two quid and then not leaving a tip? Are you a bunch of teenagers?

Rainbow1235 · 25/04/2025 23:06

Peaple have real problems goin on and u are stressing over basically nothing . There’s enough drama and upset in this world without adding to it ,

Lotsofsnacks · 25/04/2025 23:17

scoopoftheday · 25/04/2025 21:43

I'm still laughing at "and she wasn't bursting to use it, she was just going to have a try because she had a long journey afterwards."

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ha ha so many important minor details in this thread 😂😂. Can’t blame them though, best to try for a wee before a car journey

LardoBurrows · 25/04/2025 23:24

You are all unreasonable not to have left the waiter a tip, especially as he had to hang around while you got your calculators out and counted out your money to the last penny and your friend and her DD took the longest dump in history. What a bunch of miserable, tight-fisted fuckers.