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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Meal Drama over £2

291 replies

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:16

My cousin invited myself and two other women out for a 'taster meal session.' I accepted right away. Another declined and the other woman my good friend stated she would come along. Today was the day of the meal and my friend came with her 18 year old daughter. We all sat together in a group of 4. When asked by the waitress regarding still and sparkling water, my cousin stated still. The waitress came back and poured the water into all 4 glasses. At some point during the meal my cousin went to drink some water and she noticed a lipstick stain, it seems my friend had drank from her glass and her own by mistake, it didn't seem like much, it seemed like only a few sips from the glasses as the majority of water was still in the glasses. My cousin asked for a new glass and my friend started to drink out of her own personal water bottle and didn't drink again from the glasses. My friends daughter also drank the still water.

My cousin asked for more water and I drew her attention to the fact she said still at first and did she mean it, she stated no and said she had meant tap. The waitress came back with more water and started to pour it into the glasses, my friend stopped her stating she didn't drink tap water. We continued on with the meal and had a great meal, ordering drinks etc. I believe my cousin asked for the bill and then my friend and daughter said they needed to go to the bathroom. The bill came before they left to the bathroom. The waiter stood waiting and my cousin asked if he could come back later, we did also mention the two other guests were in the toilet as he thought they had left for some reason. I added my bill up and my cousin added her bill up and I asked about the water as I noticed she had attributed a quarter of it. She stated everyone drank from it. I said okay and added a quarter onto my bill. The waiter came back and asked if we were paying now, I think it had been around six minutes since he had been at our table. My cousin paid and then asked are you paying and the waiter came over to me and asked how much I was paying, so I told him my portion and paid.

My friend and her daughter came back and sat down. As she was looking at the bill I tried to explain it to her twice and she looked annoyed and said yes yes, I know. As a discount on the bill had not been clear, I had wanted to explain it. I couldn't even explain to her that the water had been split 4 ways. She called the waiter over to pay and I asked her how much she was paying and she stated £94 and I stated the balance was £96. She looked visibly upset and said why was she paying for the water and if she was it was suppose to be split 3 ways not 4. To tell you the truth I couldn't really understand this argument. So I said her daughter was 18 and should be included in any split. Anyways she paid but was not happy. About 5 minutes after she left I got a text saying she was annoyed and other things, and that annoyed me. My cousin said I will pay her the two pounds give me her account details, but I didn't as I thought that might upset her more, so I texted her saying my cousin would pay, could she pass on her details.

So who is being unreasonable? My cousin or friend? To be fair its such a stupid fight and over £2. It boggles the mind.

I think my cousin should have paid for the water, but we shouldn't have drank any if we weren't prepared to pay towards it, regardless, if the waitress poured us a glass or not.

Also my friend believes we were a bit rude to pay without her and my cousin feels she was a bit rude to go to the bathroom before settling her bill as the bill came before she left, and she wasn't bursting to use it, she was just going to have a try because she had a long journey afterwards. My cousin thinks she could have tried after the meal, as we could have all sat and discussed the bill then.

OP posts:
Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:49

limebasilandmentalhealth · 25/04/2025 21:48

You owe me £2 after I tried to understand what this issue was all about.

Yeah, I'll have to send it to you. Nonsense.

OP posts:
FrodoBiggins · 25/04/2025 21:49

FrodoBiggins · 25/04/2025 21:48

They took their coats and bags to go for a piss?

Sorry - to go to try to have a piss?

MadCattery · 25/04/2025 21:49

American here. I know we aren't too popular on MN. But, it is so, so normal to say, right at the start while ordering, "Separate checks, please. " and with the mother/daughter, to add "those two are together". It's so normal that if we forget to ask, the server will ask at the end of the meal.

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:49

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:49

Yeah, I'll have to send it to you. Nonsense.

absolute nonsense over £2

OP posts:
Gremlins101 · 25/04/2025 21:50

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 25/04/2025 21:34

Don't try to understand either side. It's £2.

If it were me I'd say I'm not interested in discussing or anyone falling out over £2. She either accepts the £2 'refund' or its end of the matter.

Providing a resolution means there's no longer a matter of principle angle.

This.

It's ridiculous

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:51

MadCattery · 25/04/2025 21:49

American here. I know we aren't too popular on MN. But, it is so, so normal to say, right at the start while ordering, "Separate checks, please. " and with the mother/daughter, to add "those two are together". It's so normal that if we forget to ask, the server will ask at the end of the meal.

I wish we did that here. I will try to start doing this. But to be honest I won't go out with the both of them together again, I'll go out with them without each other.

OP posts:
FOJN · 25/04/2025 21:51

OP you seem to need to be in control of everything. Read your post again and see how many times you intervened to sort out things that other people at the table were quite capable of dealing with. I wonder if you are really controlling or more anxious.

There was poor communication all round. I don't think she's upset that you treated her daughter as an adult and split the water 4 ways instead of 3 but because she only had a few sips so doesn't think she owed anything for the water.

I would leave well alone until everyone has calmed down. A bottle of water is really not worth this much hassle.

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:51

FrodoBiggins · 25/04/2025 21:49

Sorry - to go to try to have a piss?

Yes, that's why I believe the waiter was so anxious.

OP posts:
KellySeveride · 25/04/2025 21:52

I’m going to hazard a guess that your friend was hoping to persuade you to split the whole bill 3 ways but you and your cousin put paid to that fantasy by paying whilst she was in the loo….and that’s what’s pissed her off but she can’t say that because she knows it’s unreasonable so is focusing on the water.

Helpmysanity · 25/04/2025 21:52

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:48

Her £96 included 2 wines, 1 coffee for her daughter and her portion of the water and her daughters portion of the water.

Ahh OK I was going to say! Seems all a bit OTT, come for tea with us instead it would be more fun!

Sofiewoo · 25/04/2025 21:52

we're classing her daughter as an adult

It doesn’t matter if the daughter is an adult or a child it’s still your friend’s responsibility to pay for her, not a anyone else.

Ponderingwindow · 25/04/2025 21:52

If people didn’t want water, why didn’t they stop the waiter from pouring them a glass?

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:53

FOJN · 25/04/2025 21:51

OP you seem to need to be in control of everything. Read your post again and see how many times you intervened to sort out things that other people at the table were quite capable of dealing with. I wonder if you are really controlling or more anxious.

There was poor communication all round. I don't think she's upset that you treated her daughter as an adult and split the water 4 ways instead of 3 but because she only had a few sips so doesn't think she owed anything for the water.

I would leave well alone until everyone has calmed down. A bottle of water is really not worth this much hassle.

Yeah, this sounds like good advice. I'm not controlling though, far from it. But she sipped from cousins glass also.

OP posts:
Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:54

Ponderingwindow · 25/04/2025 21:52

If people didn’t want water, why didn’t they stop the waiter from pouring them a glass?

exactly, that's what she did with the tap water. So she could have done the same with the still water.

OP posts:
Namerequired · 25/04/2025 21:54

Yep to spend £40/50 on a meal and argue over £2 is ridiculous. Takes away some of the enjoyment. I still don’t understand what she means about treating her daughter as an adult though. So was that all about splitting the water too?

Helpmysanity · 25/04/2025 21:55

She is pissed because you split the cost of your drinks (bottled water) but not hers (wine and coffee). It will be a principle thing I'm sure which I kind of get but wouldn't kick off over £2

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:55

Sofiewoo · 25/04/2025 21:52

we're classing her daughter as an adult

It doesn’t matter if the daughter is an adult or a child it’s still your friend’s responsibility to pay for her, not a anyone else.

That's what I believe also.

OP posts:
Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:56

Helpmysanity · 25/04/2025 21:55

She is pissed because you split the cost of your drinks (bottled water) but not hers (wine and coffee). It will be a principle thing I'm sure which I kind of get but wouldn't kick off over £2

We all paid for our individual drinks, my cousin also had a wine and I had a cocktail. The only drink split was the water.

OP posts:
Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:58

They're both such lovely people and this seems so out of character. Friend always doing something to treat me. She's lovely like that. So it seems hard to understand falling out about £2

OP posts:
Helpmysanity · 25/04/2025 21:58

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:56

We all paid for our individual drinks, my cousin also had a wine and I had a cocktail. The only drink split was the water.

I'm lost good luck, they sound like hard work!

MoominMai · 25/04/2025 22:00

Well after having read everything, because everyone allowed the bottled water to be poured individually for them (whether ordered by them directly or not), I think it’s fair to have split the cost 4-ways for it. As far as your friend getting upset by it all, that’s on her as she didn’t want to listen to your reasoning re why everything else panned out as it did after coming back from the toilet. Yet she was able to shoot you some annoying texts afterwards to which I’d have just replied that it was all academic now since she didn’t want to engage at the appropriate time.

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 22:01

I think this must be a blimp as they're really nice. I think this is all down to communication. My friend and I are extremely close, so I won't make this ruin our friendship but I feel like just putting £2 in both their accounts and be like, its finished.

OP posts:
NotSafeInTaxis · 25/04/2025 22:01

CalypsoCuthbertson · 25/04/2025 21:24

Do you think she was actually upset about a meal for 2 costing over £90, rather than the £2? I know food’s gone up lately but that seems huge.

45 a head for good food plus drinks is not a lot

Apreslapluielesoleil · 25/04/2025 22:03

I felt exhausted just reading that. £90+ for two meals and they’re quibbling over £2 water? I’ll send you the £2 myself if that’ll settle it , way too much drama.

I don’t think anyone can give you a specific answer as it could have been paid by anyone and wouldn’t have altered their lives at all.

FrodoBiggins · 25/04/2025 22:03

I can't be the only one who wants to see the texts