I posted about this when I fist found out but 4 weeks ago my DS aged 19 disclosed to me he had been sexually assaulted by my partners brother. I have been with partner 7 years. He lives with us. I have younger children who are early teens. I have known the brother a couple of years longer as we had a shared hobby.
My son doesn't want to report it to the police. No evidence and his word against the brothers being the reasons. PP on that thread said to be led by my son and respect his wishes. He's doing OK with everything that's happened. He simply said he doesn't wish to be on his own at any time going forward with the brother. That's a given and won't happen. The man won't ever set foot in my house again.
I told my partner who was shocked. Upset. In denial. Trying to come up with a logical explanation. Angry. Suggests perhaps his brother is gay and attracted to younger men and has 'mis read' the signs. His other two brothers and their father have been told about it. I went with him to tell one brother. And they told the other brother and father a few days ago due to logistics of getting people together in the same place. No one wanted it done over the phone . I respected this timeframe. I haven't spoken to the man who assaulted my son. I haven't contacted him or approached him.
My partner and family say the brother will be spoken to... then what ???
It's caused so many rows in my house between us. He seems massively in denial and to be honest it's pissing me off. My son has been assaulted and he's trying to come up with reasons why it's all a misunderstanding. I am angry. Absolutely boiling with furious rage.
I feel I have let My son down by not going round there and beating this c**t into next week. I want now to tell the brother I know and to tell him he either admits it to the family (so they can stop their denial and delusion) or I am going to the police and will tell everyone. I am looking to shake him up basically.
He's got away with what he's done. Scott free.
My partner won't cut his brother off..he's said that. I haven't actually asked him to. I simply said it leaves a bad taste in my mouth that he would want to speak to him and associate with him any more than is humanly necessary. Eg at family gatherings when it can't be avoided. I don't like him trotting off to their hobby together or meeting up for finner etc. Its complicated by the fact they own a property together. Which the brother lives in and My partner stays at from time to time. He lives with us 95% of the time.
My partner has his family to speak to and he sees a Counsellor every few weeks (long before this happened ) so he has a safe space to discuss. I don't.. no one knows and I cannot tell my family. All hell will break lose. My family would 100 per cent cut off someone who did something like this if it was in our family. They have done before. Also my son doesn't want people knowing. Sadly there is a stigma about this kind of thing and he doesn't want it getting out.
I am just turning on my partner. I know its not his fault the blame lies with one person. But having a chat with the brother. Then what ? Nothings going to change. It will just be swept under the carpet won't it.
I am fucking angry and feel it's incredibly fucking disloyal to me and my son.
Any advice and sorry for the swearing but I am so so angry