To think why are there so many unattractive, dysfunctional men ?

[ursulone]

Firstly I am not perfect and certainly don't expect anyone else to be. I am well aware there are women who fall into all the categories I am about to mention. I am in middle age and happily single (divorced). When I did briefly date, I met a variety of men, most of whom certainly had issues. I recently attended a housewarming party in a city around 2 hours from where I live. Women were all personable, made a big effort with appearance, sociable, variety of interests, Most of the men, certainly the straight seeming ones, were badly dressed, no effort, bad skin, some BO/bad breath, talked only about themselves, didn't seem interested in anything much. One or two seemed to have quite challenging financial circumstances, not sure why. Thing is, if being a single man is quite as bleak an experience as one male friend said it was (mainly according to him, as men are too competitive with one another to be as supportive friends as women are to each other, and men in relationships don't hand around with single men) why don't they make an effort? Obviously its not like it is compulsory to be be the best version of yourself but some of there guys come across like they've just given up.

Yet you don't think it ridiculous drop "vast majority of children are killed by women" into the discussion? Honestly if we're at the level of debate where we're resorting to blatant lies, then I'd say anything goes.

The mere fact we are once again doing NAMALT and "but wot about wimmin" on a thread questioning why so many men are dysfunctional...

https://childprotectionresource.online/mothers-are-more-likely-to-abuse-children-than-fathers-fact/

https://www.breakingthescience.org/SimplifiedDataFromDHHS.php

Have you even read your own data?
"1,704 were killed by a mother acting alone. That represents only 0.12% of the1,452,099 children who are neglected by their mother alone. For fathers, who by themselves neglected 661,129 children, they killed 0.13% (859). So in terms of parents acting alone, fathers kill MORE children than mothers."

I didn't say that.
A poster called CB444 said that.

I was saying to drop in child deaths in Gaza into this debate was ridiculous- which it is.

Slightly more pertinent to the OP's thread after the random derail
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/self-care-for-men/202404/how-mens-neglect-of-self-care-impacts-their-partners

It is hard to keep track of the NAMALT posters when you all say the same stuff.

@HowardTJMoon why are you so desperate to vilify women in order to paint men in a better light?

The facts are as clear as day in virtually ANY scenario. And if women have been emotionally abusive then I can guarantee you it’s because of how she’s been treated in this capitalist patriarchy. There’s no denying it. You’d do better to work on yourself and other men rather than tear down women, no?

Don’t worry no-one is taking him seriously.
Anyone who says “but women do it too” even in the face of cold, hard stats and well.. having a brain and seeing what happens in the world.. is a gaslighting arsehole.

@QueefQueen80s yes absolutely. It just blows my mind and is totally ironic, as it’s attitudes like that which totally support OP’s stance here

He stinks of BO and a weird plasticky smell (anyone know what I mean?)

Teenage boys often go through a phase of smelling like that. I think it's spunk. Sorry to lower the tone.

Men my age and single (63) are awful. I keep myself looking good, botox, nice clothes, slim. I had one of them with hideous thick fungal nails appalling breath and enough cheap aftershave to kill an elephant that he wasn't interested in me. I hadn't even asked him to be interested in me, I was just being polite to him as we were at the same party.
Still at least it meant I had an opportunity to get away from his hideous breath and rotting teeth.

Not my experience of Irishmen at all, thankfully!! (Grew up in Ireland, attended uni in Ireland etc.)

Ugh I didn't think of that. I bet his sheets stand up on their own 🤢

Oh god. A ‘not all men’ post.

Oh god. Surely someone isnt talking sense. Better to fit in and rip men apart..

This.
Incredible that you group is so lopsided. I think women tend to have a deluded view of how charming, magnificent and desirable their single friends and female peers are.

If you think there's a reason the men are single, there's a good chance it's the same reason the women in the group are too.

Stats

Its not just women who think their friends are desirable though. The awful men think they are too. If the gatherings were full of a bunch of people all turning their noses up at each other, you might be on to something. But they're typically full of women trying to avoid the advances of the unattractive men. I think its fair to say that the women are single due to lack of desirable alternative, and the men due to lack of opportunity.

I grew up here and live here (well, Northern Ireland - spent time in Ireland and dated a man in Ireland) and I have to agree with her.

Still incredibly sexist, misogynist, boorish etc.

Though I suppose there's a real.toxic masculinity culture in other parts of the UK too.

I hear Oz is really bad for it (in terms of developed nations).

In my experience, women on dating sites can be a bit deluded. I’ve known several in their mid- late 40s ruling out bald men 5-10 years older…even if kind and solvent. Yet reality dictates the very handsome mid 30 year olds they were swiping right on were going to have many options of women 10 years younger and they’d go for those every time. I’m always a bit mystified by it…in any market you have to be realistic. So many of the men being ruled out - fair enough, they were commitment phones and sociopaths. But the nice ones, the kind ones, the ones who were just a bit short or a bit less attractive than you might like…I think people need to get real. If you’re older and single, your options are seriously limited. Fair enough to stay single if you don’t like the options but acting as if you’re better than all the people who are interested in you seems crazy. Just like with houses that are overpriced by owners…they find their level regardless. As a 46 year old with three teen sons, I realise that should my husband leave me, I’m unlikely to have a queue of eligible suitors!

I think men are very much on a downward spiral with fewer and fewer decent ones around.

Even looking at the men/partners in my family isn’t painting a good picture. Compared to the women, the older ones aren’t great (and the women are providing them with homes whilst also doing the lion’s share of the domestics)!

Most women want a man their own age, not older or younger. That isn’t unrealistic, it’s normal

Exactly

I hope you replied in kind.