To ask how many of you married for money?

[Quietsurrender]

Because I am considering it.

Divorced with DC and starting to really struggle financially and now also in other ways.

Nope. I made my own money.

No, but sort of wish I had!

Met Dh at 17 though, so I didn’t think about those kinds of things, I definitely would now though

Good for you, I work for my own money too. 👍

Do you have someone to marry?

Not me. Married when we were in our twenties and as poor as church mice. We’re well off now and both earn well, but I make a goes bit more.

Married him because I adored him from out very first date, and knew I wanted to spend my life with him. It was absolutely the right choice. Life is too short to share your most intimate moments with someone you only married for their wallet.

Just for reference, I do really like the man in question. He's funny, smart, hard working, has integrity, I feel safe around him. I even feel an attraction growing. However, there is no passion. He's unaffectionate and quite subdued in some ways.

No. Just someone who I could see marrying.

Not in a million years. I couldn't force myself to have sex with someone I didn't fancy/love.

I'd lose respect for myself almost as much as I had no respect for them.

I think it’s clear from a lot of threads on here that many women are not interested in being with men that aren’t well-off. I’m not sure it’s as black and white as marrying for money - I suspect it’s that a man is more likely to get second and subsequent dates if he’s affluent, as it makes him appear more attractive.

Maybe women are also more likely to turn a blind eye to slightly less desirable behaviour in a wealthy man?

Marry for money?
Just no, marry because you love the person and want to spend the rest of your life with them.
Money is not the solution for all ills.

My great grandmother did. At 24 she was widowed in WW1 with a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a newborn. She married a man more than 20 years older than herself in order to survive.

My gran describes her step father as a very kind man but (despite the fact that he was the only father she ever knew - she was the newborn) she never seemed all that attached to him.

No. The image of my feminist mother would loom large in my dreams. I tend to agree with her. There's far more value in your self-worth as somebody who can live off their own earnings than having to rely on a (rich, male) partner. Also, you need your own escape fund, just in case.

If you divorce will you want to take any of his money?

Didnt marry for money. But I married a highly educated and ambitious man because I was a highly educated and ambitious woman. I find education and ambition attractive.

I could have done with an ex but I became bored in the relationship. The man I married is fun and energetic, wanted to have children and our priorities were the same. I loved my ex but I would have been bored and he’d have been at work a lot.

You’ve already been divorced once. Why would you make another divorce almost inevitable by marrying somebody you find unaffectionate and subdued and passionless? And the idea of marrying for money is completely one-sided: don’t you think this bloke deserves somebody who actually loves him and wants to be with him for who he is, rather than just dip into his bank account? Would you want to find out somebody had married you just for access to your house or money?

Ah sorry, thought it was a general question rather than your specific situation.

In your position I’d probably give it a certain amount of time as he sounds as though he has a lot of good qualities. However, if there is no tension or passion after you’ve spent more time together then that may be your answer.

Like this poster, I married someone who had the same attitude as me.

What a strange place this has become

Nope. Married him cos I love him and he loves me. 55 years since we met, and he still makes my heart beat a little faster.

Do you Not think he deserves somebody who loves him ? Would you want that for your son?

These are my thoughts and feelings, too. I couldn't imagine marrying someone unless I really loved him and wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. I agree that money isn't going to solve everything.

I did not but I wish I had. Man I wasted my youth!

I always planned to, unfortunately didn’t, but still with I had.

Money smooths over a lot.

Women settle for men like that everyday to be married / have kids and a lot of those men have no money.

If you need to settle may as well get somebody with money.