To ask how many of you married for money?

[Quietsurrender]

Because I am considering it.

Divorced with DC and starting to really struggle financially and now also in other ways.

As a fairly well off man myself, if he is as smart as you say, and he probably is, likely he won't marry you - as a chap (ladies probably get the same)when you have worked hard for what you have sadly you attract, amongst others, those who are after your money and a free lunch / half a house.

He might like having you around for companionship etc. but unlikely he'd actually marry you I would say.

My wife is much wealthier than me, and the attraction was not her wealth, but that she genuinely loved me, and had no interest in being kept, even slightly.

In many cases yes.

I totally agree

Yeah random MNetters knows me more than myself. Lol

Btw as I said upthread I personally didn’t limit myself to dating only rich men, but there is nothing to suggest that all those who do don’t consider other qualities too.

Do you criticise men (or women) who only date attractive people and tell them that’s all they’re interested in?

I think that’s rubbish.
i wouldn’t date a man who I didn’t find physically attractive. However I also wouldn’t date a man whose only appeal was his looks. I’d date a physically attractive man who was also kind, supportive, who I thought would be a good parent, who I could laugh with etc. So I wouldn’t be with him for his looks, even though his looks were important to me.

No. I married for love. He has as little cash as me and that's fine.

Well perhaps that poster does indeed date solely for looks - and that’s why they assume others are dating solely for money.

People often judge and make assumptions based on their own mentality - all makes sense now.

If you need to settle may as well get somebody with money.

True. Better to be rich and bored, than poor and bored.

No, but it reminds me of this......
https://photos.app.goo.gl/pUZ5bSqbhLKUxsap9

This is a bit harsh! But the truth hurts.

There were many women that would have married my husband for his wealth. When I
met him there were many hovering!

I was adamant that I was not after his wealth and
am not a kept woman. And he saw that. Now he is unwell, no sex life, but we are intimate, and he is loved and cared for.

His previous wife nearly destroyed him with her greed.

Sorry, posted wrong photo and don't know how to delete it.

I couldn't marry for money.

Sex/intimacy is important. It can have its ups and downs (lol) but if there's nothing there in the first place....I'm not sure you can do it.

I would on balance marry someone who was perhaps less good looking than (this sounds extremely shallow!) other people (entirely theoretical as there is no queue of such people 😂) because of all of their qualities.

Them being rich wouldn't come into it though - more about attitude to money and similar financial values/behaviours.

I meant to post a link to where Caroline Aherne asks Debbie McGee "so tell me Debbie, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

I didn't but my cousin did. She grew up very poor and when she met her husband she fell for his money. They were in their early 40s when they married, he indulges her but she has to act like a 1950s housewife, what he says goes and she has to have his dinner on the table at 6pm every night. He decides everything major such as what car she can drive, where they go on holiday. She is not allowed to work full time. One time, all us cousins met up one afternoon and planned to go for dinner. 50s housewife cousin couldn't come because she had to go home to make her husband's dinner.
Sod that for a lark.

if it helps to survive and have a better quality of life then i would marry for money

Well I'm working class so money has never been a factor.

I think if I were to do it again then I'd want someone who earns same as me or more, has their own property and car - same as I do

I do think love can grow. Passion doesn't last but you have to at least fancy your partner and have similar love language. I'm not affectionate at all but see love through small things like dh making me a cuppa without asking or other small kindness that makes my life nicer

Nope. I said earlier:

I didn’t ’marry for money’ in the sense that it was the only thing I was concerned about, or that I was looking for someone to provide for me, but I wasn’t interested in even dating men that weren’t at least on an equal footing to me financially. Similarly I wasn’t interested in dating men I wasn’t attracted to, or men that I wasn’t compatible with in other ways.

It'll be a long hard marriage with an unaffectionate man. You will definitely pay the price there.

No, but I sometimes think it 🤣. It's only because I'm married to a man who has the potential to earn a lot through PAYE, however, he is self-employed and his work is seasonal. I'm so glad that he gets so much enjoyment from being self-employed.

I earn a decent salary (not a part of the 6 figures crew, mind), and we do not struggle at all, however, I'm beginning to get a bit tired of his attitude towards money and thinking he can just purchase a property of his dreams, especially when the property would be a given if he was PAYE.

He seems to want to live a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget, and I'm getting a little bit sick of it. Don't get me wrong, we aren't in debt other than the mortgage and student loans, but his pie in the sky dreams are beginning to fuck me right off.

Sorry, and thanks for allowing me to vent.

No I wouldn’t marry for money, but I also wouldn’t marry anyone with significantly less money than me either.

When I was early 20's I went out with a guy who was 10rs older and very solvent. I remember going to his house and being told I should move in with him (by him!) as he would take care of all the bills etc and I could just spend all my own earnings on myself! I didn't fancy him really and I'm so glad I dumped him and met my future DH who was on the dole and had nothing. We were insanely attracted to each other and I had a lucky escape from the ex - he turned out to be proper mental. This was pre mobile phones and 1 day I didn't go for a pre agreed date he turned up at my flat barged his way in and looked in all the cupboards for me- I must be 'hiding from him'. I was waiting for the bus to meet him My now DH has a very well paying job- we both work full time and have been together for over 30yrs.
Knobhead was a right prick to be fair! Thought going to massage parlours was OK as well!

PAYE isn't the only way to earn good money, I've never been on PAYE and couldn't earn as much as I do that way - if you are self employed the way to do it is to either find a line that delivers or have a portfolio business doing more than one thing.

PAYE is crap, it means you have a boss, HR, teams meetings, a fake plastic veneered imitation beech desk and a swivel chair on supercord carpet - not for me!

I would feel like a prostitute if I married for money. I would feel as though I had no right to spend any of the money and would have to feel grateful all the time. I'd really hate that. If you marry someone who's rich and get a divorce then there's no guarantee you'll get much money anyway. If he realises that you've married him for money then the chance of a divorce is very high.

Having said that I wouldn't marry somebody now that I had to carry financially. It was fine in my 20s when we were both earning different amounts at different times but now I am older there is no way I would want to be funding someone else's lifestyle or have them funding mine.

I did but he left me for another woman. I got serious about work and tripled my salary in 7 years and now I’m earning enough that I don’t want or need a man now.

As Cher says, I am the rich man!

Absolutely agree, and I'm happy for DH to be self-employed. It's just that he would earn more being PAYE in the field he qualified in and not have as many overheads. My frustration is that he doesn't seem to understand why we can't afford to buy at the level we used to. He's really not that thick either, and this makes me even more frustrated.