To ask how many of you married for money?

[Quietsurrender]

Because I am considering it.

Divorced with DC and starting to really struggle financially and now also in other ways.

Not entirely. Although that did figure in the appeal. I wanted to be a sahm and this allowed me to. Nice house. Zero worries. 4 kids as well. Paradise. Then he had an affair and we divorced. Which worked out well as I got the marital home, a huge amount in capitalised spousal maintenance, a big chunk in monthly maintenance and a decent pension. So it’s worked well. Now he sees the girls every other weekend and I live a lovely life me and the girls. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I had plenty of opportunity to marry for money and could have done quite easily - but I could only marry for love.

I'd rather be independent and self-sufficient personally - but that's just me.

I know a number of friends who have married for money - with their big houses and plentiful holidays and designer this and that ... but they don't laugh so much and I wonder if they're truly happy.

There was just the one that got away, that now happens to be rather rich, but then I'm not sure he's even all that any more ... I'm happy with my lot.

Money isn't the highest factor on my agenda - I think I went initial attraction, personality, trust and then worked out the rest as we went along ... 'together!'

When I got married young, I had someone scoff at me that I'd married for money. When I hesitated they then scoffed that I'd married for LURVE then they supposed...

I'd married a guy from a well off family because I loved him but she was clearly not going to let me have either as an acceptable answer.

"Actually, I married him because he has a huge penis" was the answer I gave. She has no answer for that!

People marry for all sorts of reasons. Money can disappear very easily. Others would argue so can love. I don't think money should be the only reason. I think they need to make you happy too otherwise it will just cause resentment. I don't think I could marry without love of some kind even if it wasn't a sexual relationship but if you're okay with that and so is the groom then great.

I think it depends upon being married before, and also your age. If you want a partner ( and not everyone does) the older you get the less men there are to choose from! This man sounds lovely, very much like mine and I'm looking to the future with a man that satisfies me, but I'm not 'in love' with. If you think you'd enjoy retirement with him, go for it I say

Okidoke!

Have some self respect

I am reminded of the quotation: " Never marry a man unless you would be delighted to have a son exactly like him".

God I wish I’d heard that 20 years ago.

Never heard that before but it’s so true!

Actually I did have my son with someone I considered perfect - definitely makes raising them easier. Sadly his dad didn’t want to marry me.

I do think things change after mid life. It’s really hard to find someone with spark when life has rubbed off all the interesting edges.

What does HE want from a marriage to you OP?
Is he in love with you?
Do you have sex / expect sex in the marriage?
Do you have a solid friendship?

In short what does he want from you in a marriage?

We can’t choose who we fall in love with. But online dating allows us to choose who we meet. I think if I was ever to be looking online for a new man and possible future husband I would take their money into consideration. If there were two equally appealing men but one had more money, I would choose him. I can’t see a good reason to choose the one with less money.

Would that be marrying for money? I think it would be in a way. But I wouldn’t marry someone solely for their money, no more than I would try to befriend someone because they were wealthy.