To ask how many of you married for money?

[Quietsurrender]

Because I am considering it.

Divorced with DC and starting to really struggle financially and now also in other ways.

Love my DH very much, we both work our buts off for very little gain!

If something happened to our marriage I would be selective in any partner and would want them to be financially well off. Not because I want their money (make my own) but because having money makes life easier and I would not want to have to carry someone else. Also I would like to be treated now and then as I would treat them.

I hope you didn’t marry for the money!

Absolutely not. I first met DP when we students, and equally skint. We got together as a couple some years later, but money has definitely never been a factor in our relationship. Neither of us is that sort of person, and those are not our values.

Yes - by the same token, I've also weirdly seen very unattractive men cheat and attractive men be entirely faithful.

You get awful broke men, you get really nice/kind wealthy men. It's not an either or scenario. You can find someone wealthy who you also love

Exactly. Also, just because you have a wealthy husband doesn't mean that you, as a woman, don't have your own money, career and assets.

Nah but I'm single so if anybody knows somebody .... Set me up ❤️😂

Same here. And for anyone saying "oh we were peniless students" - well presumably you were expecting that to change?

Yes. I met my DH at work. We earned the same. So I guess he could equally be accused of marrying me for money 🤷🏻‍♀️. I married him because I love him, he just also happened to be in a well paid career. As did I.

Has he proposed?

There's nothing wrong with wanting financial security. As long as you're not going to deprive him of a loving and fulfilling relationship, get that bag 💰

Yes, part of the point of going to University is to be able to give you the opportunity to enter well paid careers. You can’t really say ‘I didn’t marry for money, when we met he was just a penniless law student, he just happened to then become a partner in a Magic Circle firm’, for example.

No, but I know someone who did.

She's still married to him, but is pretty unhappy. She has no worries, spends what she likes, lives in a beautiful home, etc etc and it was all fine for the first few years, when everything was shiny and new.

But now she's emotionally unfulfilled and basically pretty lonely within herself. Her husband, who is basically a nice man, irritates her because there is no love there to 'smooth the edges' as there are when we love a man and can smooth away his 'foibles'. She dreads the (soon) retirement years when 'he's going to be around all the time'.

Would she do it differently knowing what she knows now? I don't think even she knows that.

Never marry for money but put your love where there is some. 😁

I agree 100%. I could never marry or commit to someone I didn’t love.

How is marrying for money different from prostitution?

In a heartbeat. After a life of very hard work combining motherhood with more than full time hours I think if I had my time again I’d go for someone loaded. Some of my friends married farmers and now they are retired and the farms are sold they have millions.

Unfortunately not, but I do often dream about an alternative world where I did 😂

I didn't, but he makes quite a lot now which has been a nice bonus in an already happy marriage.
I was the higher earners when we got together.

I'd rather be broke than marry for money and no affection?? Then what? Get divorced and take his money? Get some morals, get a job, do a course earn your own money and be financially dependent on yourself! Nothing better than a strong women who does it all by herself! Seesh!

You can find someone wealthy who you also love

Erm not so much in later life though. There’s less single men, many of those have been tossed back in the pool for a reason and unless you’re a catch they aren’t interested in older.

Married to a man who now earns a lot of money and has shown me no affection since day one, truly. If he is this way now, it will only continue/get worse and that is a very lonely way of life over time.

I also work out of personal desire, but it's not even a fraction of what he earns, and over time this has led to a power imbalance as well.

While it's a great comfort not to have to worry about money, I wish every day that I was with someone who was affectionate and less boring and who I actually looked forward to seeing at the end of the day or made me feel sexy or noticed or who gave a great hug. Marrying an unaffectionate man feels masochistic in retrospect but I was pregnant and felt I had no choice at the time. It's been a deeply empty and platonic relationship.

Sounds like a short term fix and not a great long term option.

People won't admit marrying for money, but aren't interested in marrying someone who's poor.

There's been a lot of research on hypergamy (or 'marrying up') - it might make sense for high status career women to 'marry down' eg to a self-employed man who can choose his own hours to fit in the school run etc. However all the evidence supports the reality that women, no matter how financially independent they are, still want to marry someone of high status.

People also have the capacity to self-deceive - "yes, my husband is very, very wealthy, but I would have married him anyway..."

I didn’t marry for money but he does earn a decent amount now and i work in an admin job part time so that worked out well

I didn’t ’marry for money’ in the sense that it was the only thing I was concerned about, or that I was looking for someone to provide for me, but I wasn’t interested in even dating men that weren’t at least on an equal footing to me financially. Similarly I wasn’t interested in dating men I wasn’t attracted to, or men that I wasn’t compatible with in other ways.

So basically you're saying only marry a rich man. So ... marry for money then.