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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

382 replies

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:24

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

OP posts:
Sixtygpingonthirty · 22/04/2025 23:24

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

Both the toilets had dodgy flushes tbh. It would have made no difference her going upstairs

i can’t believe you’re still trying to justify yourself!!!!! Your friend paid half - she’s entitled to use whatever loo ( or facilities) she wants! You are unbelievably controlling. Stop digging and eat humble pie.

DarkForces · 22/04/2025 23:25

MereNoelle · 22/04/2025 23:22

Do you always get the better deal with accommodation when you go away together? Has it ever occurred to you to offer to pay more than 50% because you get a proper bedroom and she doesn’t?

Agree. I wouldn't be happy about paying half in this situation.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 22/04/2025 23:25

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:55

We agreed to all this beforehand. We discussed the listing together and I asked if she would mind if I had the bedroom and she said no. She then sent me half of the money.

my point was she had no need to go upstairs at all. And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left. I check them because it’s MY account.

Show quote history

Your friend paid you half, slept on a sofa so you could have the bed and in return you acted controlling and said she wasn't allowed to use the bathroom upstairs all the while the woman is on her period and can't flush the downstairs toilet
Oh my days

ItGhoul · 22/04/2025 23:26

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

I can’t believe people wouldn’t clean the loo in an Airbnb - not even if you were on your period or had the shits??

No, because I’m a normal adult who can use a toilet without smearing it in blood and excrement.

In the unlikely event there was anything visibly marking the toilet bowl, I’d use the loo brush provided to get rid of it immediately after using it, exactly as I would in my own house. But that’s all I’d do.

I don’t think I’ve ever been ill in an Airbnb so ‘the shits’ has never been an issue. And presumably wasn’t an issue for your friend, so it’s a moot point anyway.

thisisfrommathilda · 22/04/2025 23:26

Absolutely mortified for you OP.

Mumblechum0 · 22/04/2025 23:27

You owe your friend an apology, and next time, if you have better facilities, you should pay more.

monktasmic · 22/04/2025 23:27

We went away with a group of pals to a large ‘luxury’ cottage for the weekend. We were doing the cursory wipe over / bed strip - I always take those toilet fizz things. My friends husband had a shit in a newly ‘fizzed’ loo that took 3 kettles and some loo brush action to dismantle it so it’d flush’s I was furious. I’d also not be happy if I was sleeping on a Setee while the princess took the bed and then didn’t let me deal with my period how I saw fit. Yabu on balance.

Intranslation · 22/04/2025 23:27

Use regular holiday properties, where you leave it tidy, empty the bins and strip the beds if they require that. But cleaning, nope.

Anotherparkingthread · 22/04/2025 23:30

Honestly you can't go around telling adults what toilet to use. She paid for half the stay, she needed the toilet, she probably had a bad stomach and wanted some privacy. You sound fucking controlling. If you were a boyfriend I'd bin you lol.

Also you pay a cleaning fee for air BnB, while you don't leave the place a fucking tip, you also don't need to clean it as if somebody else is about to show up any second. They factor in the cleaner and changeover time. The cleaner will have seen much worse than a bit of blood or shit stains in the toilet.

You need to get a fucking grip

alibongo5 · 22/04/2025 23:31

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:21

Not all airbnbs have a professional cleaner

Well they should. Or at least clean it to a professional standard. Bloody hell it's not a charity.

Brutalist · 22/04/2025 23:32

There’s leaving it clean and tidy and then there’s being weird and trying to make it as clean and tidy as when you arrived. If that was the expectation they’d literally just change bedding and towels between guests.

You asked if you were being unreasonable yet are arguing the toss. Why bother asking? Unless you were hoping for a swathe of answers telling you you were absolutely in the right?….

ForOliveMember · 22/04/2025 23:32

Your poor friend, you seem so controlling.

Why are you policing which toilet the poor women should use? Can you not see that is weird.

A grown woman should be capable of using the toilet and leaving it in the same condition she found it. No? A toilet doesn't need to be deep cleaned after every use.

ItGhoul · 22/04/2025 23:33

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:21

Not all airbnbs have a professional cleaner

It doesn’t matter if it’s a professional cleaner or whether the property owner cleans it. It will still be cleaned before each guest. That is one of the services you’re paying for when you stay in one.

But this is irrelevant anyway, because even if you insist on cleaning the loo before you depart, one person using it and flushing it after that will not make any discernible difference. Your friend is an adult woman and was clearly not going to leave a toilet dirty. You are controlling, obsessive and weird.

Everyone has told you that you were awful to your friend. How about just taking that on board?

Hayley1256 · 22/04/2025 23:33

You owe your friend an apology! The fact you made her clean whilst she was on holiday too is also you been unreasonable.

Endofyear · 22/04/2025 23:34

MummyJ36 · 22/04/2025 22:51

Wtf did you think she was going to do? Wipe poo all over the walls???

I was thinking this exact thing! 🤣

Original poster
userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:34

I don’t know why people are focusing on the cost. It’s irrelevant. We didn’t discuss the split on this occasion. I showed her the Airbnb listing and said the total cost was £240. I asked if I could have the bedroom and she said of course. She then sent me £120. She didn’t say, is it ok if I pay less than half. If she had I would have agreed. As it happens the sofa bed was in a separate lounge, so not very different to a bedroom really.

OP posts:
Ilovelisting · 22/04/2025 23:35

Not the point, but some people seem to lose sight of the fact that renting an Airbnb is an actual transaction in which money is exchanged for a service provided, and not actually a popularity contest in which you vie to be the cleanest nicest houseguest. I respect the properties and do no damage or harm. Beyond that, screw my rating.

MereNoelle · 22/04/2025 23:36

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:34

I don’t know why people are focusing on the cost. It’s irrelevant. We didn’t discuss the split on this occasion. I showed her the Airbnb listing and said the total cost was £240. I asked if I could have the bedroom and she said of course. She then sent me £120. She didn’t say, is it ok if I pay less than half. If she had I would have agreed. As it happens the sofa bed was in a separate lounge, so not very different to a bedroom really.

People are focussing on the cost because a) you got the better deal and b) she paid half, and therefore has equal say in what facilities she uses.
Do you think your friend is the sort of person to leave the toilet visibly dirty? Because that’s basically what you were saying to her.

Sockmate123 · 22/04/2025 23:36

YABU poor girl having to explain herself to you

Edenmum2 · 22/04/2025 23:37

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:34

I don’t know why people are focusing on the cost. It’s irrelevant. We didn’t discuss the split on this occasion. I showed her the Airbnb listing and said the total cost was £240. I asked if I could have the bedroom and she said of course. She then sent me £120. She didn’t say, is it ok if I pay less than half. If she had I would have agreed. As it happens the sofa bed was in a separate lounge, so not very different to a bedroom really.

You’re completely avoiding the point every single person is making about how incredibly insulting you were to her. Send her a bunch of flowers. A big one.

MereNoelle · 22/04/2025 23:37

If the sofa bed in the lounge was no different to you having the bedroom, why did you need the bedroom?

ForOliveMember · 22/04/2025 23:37

your priorities are wrong if your air b&b rating is more important than the comfort and dignity of your friend.

ItGhoul · 22/04/2025 23:39

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:34

I don’t know why people are focusing on the cost. It’s irrelevant. We didn’t discuss the split on this occasion. I showed her the Airbnb listing and said the total cost was £240. I asked if I could have the bedroom and she said of course. She then sent me £120. She didn’t say, is it ok if I pay less than half. If she had I would have agreed. As it happens the sofa bed was in a separate lounge, so not very different to a bedroom really.

People are focusing on the cost because you seem to think it was your place to dictate to your friend what toilet she was allowed to use when, after paying exactly the same for her stay as you did, she was fully entitled to use whichever loo she fancied. She paid an equal amount and had equal right to use all the facilities - therefore it wasn’t your place to give orders about where she should go.

Magnastorm · 22/04/2025 23:39

So you literally dictated to your friend which toilet she can use in a rental property? Fucking hell.

I would never, ever go away with you ever again.

miraxxx · 22/04/2025 23:40

This is a 100% YABU. But I get the feeling OP will not admit it.