To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

[userfriendly55]

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

And this. Prepare for your friend to be less available for trips.

So you told your friend - who paid the same amount of money as you - that she’s not entitled to use the best toilet, and that you don’t trust her to use a toilet and leave it clean?

Yes, YAB Massively U.

YABU - and i would be mega irritated at you too - you told an adult not to use a toilet and made her go somewhere else? AND she listened?!

I wouldn’t leave blood or shit in the toilet but I wouldn’t clean it! Just wash dishes, strip beds and go. Of course they have professional cleaners in between stays. Can you imagine if they didn’t !

Everyone is telling you that you were in the wrong but you won't accept it. So why bother asking? Your friend accepted that you needed the bed and bedroom, and when she needed the toilet you dictated which one she could use. She was obviously uncomfortable using the downstairs one for whatever reason. What kind of disability means you can clean so easily anyway? I have sacroiliac joint dysfunction and cannot clean for more than about ten minutes and I don't get any disability payments.

I wouldn’t leave blood or shit in the toilet but I wouldn’t clean it!**

Agree. I always thought there was a cleaning fee with Airbnb anyway. I wouldn't be cleaning toilets if that was the case.

Yeah you’re being weird and I don’t know why you even bothered asking if you’re not going to accept what everyone else has told you.

You owe her an apology for treating her like a child. If I was your friend I wouldn’t be going away with you again.

This reminds me of when I went to spend a weekend with my parents in my cousin's flat in London and my mum asked me to sleep in a sleeping bag so as not to cause housekeeping for my cousin.

mad. mad. mad.

you basically insinuated that she couldn't use the toilet properly or would leave it a mess?

yabu

If you wanted to check the toilet after she had used it (which I would find insulting if I was your friend) - why did it matter which toilet she used? Or were you not bothered about checking the downstairs one?

Assuming you were downstairs at the time your friend wanted to use the toilet for the last time, perfectly normal to want to use the toilet furthest away from other people.

I disagree. People are frustrated that despite a huge majority the OP won't accept that she was in the wrong.

maybe your friend was just attempting to discreetly check whether you with your health condition had managed to leave the toilet in a reasonable state?

Wow I literally have no words 😶

Your poor friend. How humiliating for her.

You were unreasonable, and having read your additional responses you are still being unreasonable. Very controlling. When someone pays for half of a place, and sleeps on the sofa bed you most definitely do NOT get to dictate what toilet they are allowed to use.

YABVU. If the upstairs toilet would have needed cleaning after her using it then surely the downstairs one would too? Therefore it made no difference. Still ridiculous though, her flushing the toilet would have been fine.

don’t normally say this, but is this a reverse? Who has that conversation with a grown woman wanting to use a loo?

I'm going off the many threads I've seen here and elsewhere about the long lists of cleaning tasks the 'guests' have to do before leaving, and their annoyance at this.
No decent person leaves a place dirty as such, but I would not be stripping beds, emptying bins, running the dishwasher, hoovering, especially if I am forced to pay a mandatory cleaning fee in addition. Just as in any hotel or traditional B&B, the cost of a proper clean should be included in the price.

By saying don't use that toilet because I don't want to have to clean it again, you were saying to her that she is a dirty bugger who will make a mess and not clean it up.

No wonder she was pissed off.

I’ve never done more than the most cursory glance around, put used crockery in a dishwasher and turned it on, and not mixing up the recycling and the rubbish in any of the dozens of Airbnbs I’ve stayed in down the years. Never had an issue.

I think this is one of the things a disproportionate number of Mners have a bee in their bonnet about, like the insane efforts the same type of poster goes to to ‘declutter and stage’ their houses for sale, as if they’ve confused a house sale with some type of interior design contest.

We stay in airbnbs approx 5 x a year, never been asked to do those things.

YABU

@userfriendly55 Did you book theatre and restaurant seats close to the toilet?