Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

382 replies

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:24

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

OP posts:
Edenmum2 · 22/04/2025 23:07

Yes, of course you were being unreasonable. Bordering on insane.

Obvnotthegolden · 22/04/2025 23:07

And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left
But you'd already cleaned it, so what did you think your friend was going to do in there that meant it works need cleaning again?

Can't you see how rude and insulting this is to your friend?

You're asking, everyone is telling you but you're not listening.

Hayley1256 · 22/04/2025 23:10

Why would you clean the toilet in an air bnb? All the ones I have stayed in have a cleaner that comes in after each stay! I leave them tidy but don't clean (have excellent reviews on there too)

sparkleghost · 22/04/2025 23:11

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:55

We agreed to all this beforehand. We discussed the listing together and I asked if she would mind if I had the bedroom and she said no. She then sent me half of the money.

my point was she had no need to go upstairs at all. And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left. I check them because it’s MY account.

Show quote history

Except she did. She needed to use the upstairs loo because she was on her period & the flush in the downstairs one was dodgy as per your original post, no?

Having said which, I find it all the weirder you were so off about it. Surely a loo with a dodgy flush is more likely to need an extra clean than one that is functioning perfectly well? Make it make sense!

Simonjt · 22/04/2025 23:12

So not only have you decided to ring fence the best rooms for yourself, you’ve also told someone who is supposedly a friend that if she goes to the toilet she is so disgusting that it will immediately need to be cleaned.

If a so called friend had attempted to police which toilet I used I would have ignored them and never gone away with them again, after all why would they want to spend time with someone do disgusting.

tachetastic · 22/04/2025 23:12

Your adult friend told you that she was uncomfortable using the downstairs toilet and you told her that she had to because if she used the upstairs toilet then you would have to follow her up and check if it was clean, and you didn't want to have to do that again.

Wow. Exactly what state did you expect this good friend to leave the toilet in after one visit???

Do you not see just how hostile and objectionable you sound?

mmsnet · 22/04/2025 23:12

youre an idiot

digusting behaviour

Edenmum2 · 22/04/2025 23:12

She’s paying you half - she’s entitled to use any toilet she wants. If you are truly this anal, don’t take it out on her - check it on the sly after she’s finished if you REALLY have to (totally unnecessary)

especially if she was on her period - she probably assumed you couldn’t trust her not to make a mess which for a grown woman is fucking insulting.

Juiceinacup · 22/04/2025 23:13

I hope your friend realises how unreasonable you were and refuses to on a “ girly trip” with you ever again.
How can you care so much about your Airbnb rating and so little for your actual friend’s comfort and dignity.

Edenmum2 · 22/04/2025 23:13

sparkleghost · 22/04/2025 23:11

Except she did. She needed to use the upstairs loo because she was on her period & the flush in the downstairs one was dodgy as per your original post, no?

Having said which, I find it all the weirder you were so off about it. Surely a loo with a dodgy flush is more likely to need an extra clean than one that is functioning perfectly well? Make it make sense!

Show quote history

Also this. You just didn’t want her using ‘your’ toilet did you?!

Wobblemonster · 22/04/2025 23:14

I can’t believe that you can’t see how unreasonable (and offensive) you were.

Even after everyone has told you, you’re still defending your actions.

Whilst it’s common courtesy to leave a clean home, you don’t clean a loo after every use and the owners would clean between guests as well.

Eastereg · 22/04/2025 23:17

Totally unreasonable. I cannot imagine she will want to holiday with you again - I certainly wouldn’t if I was her

ItGhoul · 22/04/2025 23:17

Hayley1256 · 22/04/2025 23:10

Why would you clean the toilet in an air bnb? All the ones I have stayed in have a cleaner that comes in after each stay! I leave them tidy but don't clean (have excellent reviews on there too)

Agreed. My partner and I both have perfect ratings and excellent reviews as Airbnb guests and we’ve never cleaned a bathroom before leaving. We tidy up, make sure any dishes are clean and put away and give the kitchen worktops a wipe. That’s it. Airbnbs get cleaned after each guest anyway. If you’re cleaning the loo, it’s a waste of time because the owner or their cleaner will be cleaning the property anyway.

Original poster
userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

Both the toilets had dodgy flushes tbh. It would have made no difference her going upstairs

OP posts:
Mudflaps · 22/04/2025 23:18

I don't think you'll have this problem going forward. You will have all the toilets to yourself and can clean them as often as you wish because I doubt she'll go anywhere with you again. You were controlling, weird and very very unreasonable.

Original poster
userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

I can’t believe people wouldn’t clean the loo in an Airbnb - not even if you were on your period or had the shits??

OP posts:
HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 22/04/2025 23:20

She was kind enough to let you have the private bedroom while she slept on the sofa in a shared space.
The downstairs loo didn’t work properly, but she put up with it.
She paid half for a less comfortable stay,
You then proceeded to police where she uses the bathroom when she’s on her period.
YABVVU

MereNoelle · 22/04/2025 23:21

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

I can’t believe people wouldn’t clean the loo in an Airbnb - not even if you were on your period or had the shits??

I would clean it if there were visible signs of blood/shit.
The weird thing here is your assumption that your friend would leave visible signs of having been to the toilet without cleaning it herself. Pretty insulting.

Simonjt · 22/04/2025 23:21

I can’t believe someone would be so vile and controlling to someone that is supposed to be a friend. Its also creepy to control where someone goes to the toilet, she was probably aware you were going to stand outside and listen to her like some creepy perv.

Original poster
userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:21

Not all airbnbs have a professional cleaner

OP posts:
DUsername · 22/04/2025 23:22

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

I can’t believe people wouldn’t clean the loo in an Airbnb - not even if you were on your period or had the shits??

If I had the shits I would to prevent anyone catching it.

If I had my period I would only clean up any mess that might result from that - which is usually nothing.

Why are you equating periods with 'the shits', why do you think menstruating is something dirty?

Blackdow · 22/04/2025 23:22

It didn’t matter what one she used, you or her would maybe have to spray some cleaner in afterwards and dry the sink after handwashing. It literally didn’t matter where she went. You were totally out of order to stop her and then question her. You basically said you didn’t trust her to use the bathroom in an hygienic manner or clean up after herself. It was just so unnecessary and I’d be off with you as well. Cannot be bothered with friends who treat friends as if they can’t be trusted to use a toilet. What’s wrong with you?

Edenmum2 · 22/04/2025 23:22

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

Both the toilets had dodgy flushes tbh. It would have made no difference her going upstairs

So….reinforcing the original point - why did you care which one she used? It’s baffling. Do you not trust your friend to leave the toilet in a respectable state? Because that’s the inference, and it’s incredibly insulting so of course she’s pissed at you

MereNoelle · 22/04/2025 23:22

Do you always get the better deal with accommodation when you go away together? Has it ever occurred to you to offer to pay more than 50% because you get a proper bedroom and she doesn’t?

Pentimenti · 22/04/2025 23:24

You sound like an utter loon.