Not to spectate while Husband runs the London Marathon

[SaveAHorseRideAHighlander]

I'll keep it as short and sweet as possible -
We are going to London for the weekend as DH is running the London Marathon, just the two of us going without the kids. Have a hotel booked near the start line on the first night, then another hotel near the finish on the second night.

My plan is to walk down to the start with him, wave him off, then take the luggage across to the second hotel (early check in arranged), drop the bag off, then have a lovely little wander by myself, get a nice pastry and coffee etc. I'd then meet him at the bottom corner of St James park when he finishes.
My friend thinks I'm being unreasonable for not picking a spot along the way/making my way direct to the end and waiting for him to pass by.
My thoughts are, he'll be busy concentrating on running, he's not overly emotional so I don't think he'll care (he's agreed to the plan!), and apart from when he's running we'll be spending a lovely weekend together.

So hit me, am I being unreasonable?

I like to walk so the plan was to pick up a pastry and coffee and have a wander. Initially thought about one of my favourite bakeries in Notting Hill but I think I’ll be struggling logistically with that this time!!

I am with you on this. It may be emotional for some, but not for me... Sorry I just don't get it. Go and have a pastry and coffee OP!

Definitely get your coffee and pastry and enjoy a walk around London OP!

You’re already supporting his hobby by going with him and transporting the luggage, and you’ll be at the finish line - no reason you can’t do something for yourself in the meantime :)

I think it depends what he wants, but personally I wouldn't really care. Particularly a crowded marathon like the London, it's not like he's going to stop to have a chat

I'm a runner and I would not care less if my husband was not in the middle to see me. Waving me off and meeting met at the end would be fine. He would get so bored. I'm with you. It's not your race it's his. Controversial to a lot of replies I've seen but I personally would not care.

We were there last year supporting a family member and trying to get anywhere was mayhem.
They closed some of the tube stations and we ended up walking about 14 miles.
We saw our family member 3 times and they were absolutely buoyed on by us being there.
We also managed some coffees and pastries and a lunch.
You need to get somebody to map their run before they go based on their training stats then you will know where to see them.

Towards the end you could not get across Trafalgar Square to the end point in the Mall because of the huge number of people there.

I've done it several times - meeting him at the end is a nightmare and there's no phone reception either.

I've done it with and without support - made no odds to me really as I was focusing on my time. If you're husband is the same and not bothered I would probably swerve it tbh.

I think you may regret not going to watch at all even if you didn’t spot him. It’s super easy to go and watch for a bit along the embankment - especially nearer to the Blackfriars end. You don’t get huge crowds. I’ve gone along a couple of times just to see who I see and it’s always a lovely atmosphere.

This is another reason why, I’ll be bringing the wheeled suitcase (medium size) and rucksack across from Greenwich to bottom of St James Park - figure if I can get across as soon as possible with the luggage and drop off hopefully before it gets too mobbed, then head west for the wander before returning back to the bottom of St James’ before he finishes? If that’s too busy the hotel is a few streets away so he knows to meet me there instead.

London is amazing, it really is an event like no other.

My whole family came to see me run, I met them twice en route. Tracking was easy, they did it online I think, fairly standard now for big runs I think?

It was 2011 when I did it so long time ago but I loved it and being able to share it with my family was great.

Not to get all morbid but my mum and dad followed my dbro round the UK watching him run and it’s given them real comfort since he was killed (while running). None of us know what’s ahead, it’s made me rethink so much.

Meeting him at the start and the finish is fine. Goodness knows where you'd even be guaranteed to see him with the crowds along the route. Are you meant to be running alongside the route, camera aloft?!

If you already know you aren't going to watch him why are you asking for opinions?

I notice it is your friend who thinks you should watch - there's no mention of your husband himself being all that bothered. As he's run marathons before I assume you're both aware that it will be quite difficult for you to spot him, and quite unlikely that he'll spot you at all unless you really distract him, which if he's a serious runner he might not particularly welcome. He will appreciate your support a lot more at the end when there's actually something you can do.

Having a coffee on your own in London sounds wonderful, especially if you can get to an area that's not directly affected by the marathon. And it won't take you nearly 4 hours, so if you change your mind about watching and/or he himself asks you to be at some particular spot and you decide you're willing to, you can still do both.

He's doing what he wants, so why shouldn't you do what you want? Watching people run is boring af to me - I'd not waste a day in London doing that when I could go shopping or sightseeing instead!

Not everywhere in London will be busy.
I walked from Blackfriars (heaving) to Farringdon - about a mile away - the year before last and it was quiet as the graves, in Farringdon.
(Not helpful to the areas @SaveAHorseRideAHighlander has mentioned but just pointing out there will be some quieter areas

It's fine. Mr Monkey runs loads of marathons and I go with him when he goes to good places (last one Boston!) . I never watch him. I see him off at the start and then arrange to meet when he is done. You can watch his progress on the app.

I do like to have a bit of a watch of the race though, as the atmospbere is always good in city centres on marathon day. London is particularly great.

I had people watching me OP, but it's so busy that I could hardly see them and they only gor a glimpse of me once. The support is amazing and it wouldn't have mattered had no-one I knew been there. It is nice to have someone to meet you at the end though and congratulate you. Docklands is best @SaveAHorseRideAHighlander if you want to actually see him on the course.

When my hubby ran it we hit the jackpot as the apartment we booked was on the route! Pure luck we didn’t know until we were checking in. I got to watch it all from the first floor through the sash windows. Had friends round and we had drinks it was the best day.

Watching a marathon sounds totally dull. YANBU at all.

If I were the runner I'd probably want you to meet me along the route, but TBH it's not that exciting as a spectator, so if he's not bothered.

Arrange somewhere to meet him away from the park, mobiles will be overloaded. People tend to spill out of all the pubs around Traflagar Sq. The Chandos is a traditional runners meet up place. Take some crisps and drink (I tend to go for a cloudy lemonade) in case he needs something immediately.

Have a back up plan in case your fiest meet point goes wrong (strong memories of having to launch a search and rescue mission for Mr Monkey in Boston after he got lost .

Given your hotel is at the finish, I reckon the best plan is to get yourself there and then follow your nose and enjoy a wander from there. You are slap bang in central London, there is something of interest on every street. Its the weekend so a lot of places round there will be eerily quiet. Plenty of places for coffee and pastry, you may stumble across a gem (going all the way to Notting Hill sounds like madness!), AND you've got a proper one-of-a-kind event happening around you which you can dip in and out of as you please. Yes it can be busy but it very quickly dissipates a street away from the course.

My favourite place to watch the marathon is along the embankment - you see the whole range of human emotions there. Avoid parliament and its not hard to find a quiet way to walk to it and get out once you've had enough.
Make a plan in advance with DH for after if you want to meet up right after - it'll take him a while to get through the finish area and he may want to enjoy the experience and not rush it either. Don't have him relying on you for anything (he can put anything he needs in his bag at the start and it'll be waiting for him at the finish - I always pack a sandwich, fruit, change of clothes). St James park is a lovely place to meet if the weather is good, but the course goes round the N/W/S sides so enter/leave from the east side to avoid crowds. Phones can be dodgy immediately around the finish area but a text to say exactly where you are should reach him.

YANBU.
You will be there when he starts and at the finish. You have rare childfree time. You presumably picked up more of the childcyover the past few months when he was intensively training. You are sorting out the move to the new hotel.

Honestly I get that a marathon is a big deal for the person running it, but ultimately it’s just a hobby.

I’m sorry to hear about your Son’s diagnosis OP. That must be difficult at any age but given it sounds like he’s still a child, that must have been incredibly stressful for you all. I hope he’s doing ok 😊 x