Not to spectate while Husband runs the London Marathon

[SaveAHorseRideAHighlander]

I'll keep it as short and sweet as possible -
We are going to London for the weekend as DH is running the London Marathon, just the two of us going without the kids. Have a hotel booked near the start line on the first night, then another hotel near the finish on the second night.

My plan is to walk down to the start with him, wave him off, then take the luggage across to the second hotel (early check in arranged), drop the bag off, then have a lovely little wander by myself, get a nice pastry and coffee etc. I'd then meet him at the bottom corner of St James park when he finishes.
My friend thinks I'm being unreasonable for not picking a spot along the way/making my way direct to the end and waiting for him to pass by.
My thoughts are, he'll be busy concentrating on running, he's not overly emotional so I don't think he'll care (he's agreed to the plan!), and apart from when he's running we'll be spending a lovely weekend together.

So hit me, am I being unreasonable?

It doesn't sound like he does put running first?! The OP said he naturally has the stamina for long distances without a training plan (which I bet a lot of runners envy!)
It sounds like they are consider each other and respect each others wishes and OP wanted a broader perspective on her decision

Not in the least unreasonable. You’re seeing him off and facilitating the transfer of luggage between hotels. I’m sure you facilitated training runs.

And honestly, marathons are their own reward. They have to be. I have quite a few marathoner friends, one who does triathlons, and one regularly does extreme ultra-marathons (Arctic, Marathon des Sables etc). The general position is ‘Wouldn’t therapy be better for your knees?’

Enjoy your London weekend!

YABU. I’ve done two half marathons and it was fantastic when I saw my family at pre-arranged spots along the way. I’m sure it was boring for them but I appreciated it so much and it really spurred me on.

Yanbu I'd be off shopping tbh 🤣

Ive run the marathon. I had family en rpute and at end. En route was so hectic didnt really nake much difference. End is very emotional and I was glad they were there, they waited at my charity tent. I'd do that.

It can be really hard to walk from one viewing area to another as there are So Many People, and then you've got to elbow your way to the front at the approx right time and in the approx right place that you've agreed to be in, and then scream louder than everyone else.

I think you're mad to go to the start, it's early and inconvenient. I'd let him go to the start, go for a nice coffee and wander, find a spot to cheer him on mid race and then meet him at the end. Try and choose somewhere really specific to meet as the number of people can overwhelm phone signal in st James park at the end.

I think you're biggest problem will be getting anywhere quiet to sit/potter. Central London on Marathon day is heaving. It'll probably take you all that time to get from one hotel to another and then to the finish line. Last year it took me 45 minutes to move down a stretch of road that would usually take 5 minutes!

My daughter is running again! I didn't go in 2021 due to work committments but am retired now so no excuse. I'd love to just sit in a cafe/pub but she wants us all to cheer her on so we will do a couple of spots.

She's doing the Edinburgh marathon a month later! I live in Edinburgh so no excuse not to go.

You say he's run marathons before. I think if you're both in board it's fine. I have quite a few marathons under my belt and now it is more important to me that DH has a nice weekend too. For example last year I did Manchester and he had a little tour round old Trafford while I was running haha! The main non negotiable is that he must be there to meet me at the end after I get my medal as that's when I need him and want a hug, and it feels special to have him with me. he knows that and always delivers. He has never missed a finish and is an expert at finding me, even if I can't find the prearranged spot.

Having said that... The atmosphere of London? I'd want to spectate. Even if you're unlikely to spot DH (and you know that isn't his priority), find somewhere you can watch a bit and soak up the vibe whilst also get to the finish easily after you've moved the luggage. You want to share that excitement and experience with him, and as a Londoner who has done many marathons (but sadly not London), spectating London is truly special

Watching my aunt run the Marathon with my uncle is one of my favourite days ever! We managed to see her run past 4 times and got to walk all over south east and east London. It’s really fun.

Your plan sounds fine. It sounds like he is into running and it's not like he is someone who needs to know you are watching or may necessarily struggle and need to spot you in the crowd to keep him going.

If you’ve seen him run loads of times before and he’s happy with being waved off, then go and get a pastry and enjoy the atmosphere. The London tri was on a few weeks ago - there was a rock choir near St. Thomas’s and other events along the route. The weather was glorious and it was just lovely to walk along the South Bank. I assume you’ve come with him to ‘make a weekend of it’, rather than to cheer him on specifically, so I’d book a great restaurant and look forward to that once he’s showered up.

OP what you are doing is fine. Enjoy your weekend.

Don't be silly - he is enjoying his marathon, you enjoy your time. You are not his dog!

It's a nightmare following them around and trying to spot them

Waving them off and being at the finish is fine

Go watch him run! Or someone else! Support your husband. Wander around with a pastry, give me strength.

Your plan is fine! If you do want to watch for a bit - I managed to see my daughter well around the 22 mile mark, on the long straight road whose name I can't remember, then got the tube to the finish where we met her. Husband ran around more to other places. She appreciated seeing us nearer the end as this is when they're more likely to feel exhausted/emotional, and it was nice to see her, hear some of the pomp and support (steel bands etc along the way). We still had a fantastic coffee near the start, and ambled about - your husband will be faster no doubt but it was a lovely day. Do you two! (Am very proud that dd was only just 18, one of the youngest in it!)

No go enjoy yourself. I have said to DH if he ever does another London Marathon that I will never come watch again. It was horrendous, the crowds, public transport was heaving. Was difficult to even see in places. Nope if husband isn't bothered I would go find a nice quiet spot somewhere a long way from marathon route.

Enjoy your day after moving the luggage. Meet him at the end when he’s finished the race.

Use the tracker. If he’s anywhere by where you are see if you can get near enough to wave.

What's wrong with having a nice walk around with a pastry and enjoy some time to myself? We've not had a minute, literally, to ourselves since my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes 3 months ago. It is relentless, managing his levels day and night. This is the first time we are going away since the diagnosis (extensive training having been given to my lovely parents - but we will still worry the whole weekend) - I'm sorry I don't want to stand in a small space with loads of other people to try and catch a glimpse of him.
Even without my above 'sob story', I'm genuinely curious as to why you need strength because someone wants to do something else to you? Am I not supporting him by going with him?

Yeah, because the OP exists solely to be her DH’s support human.🙄

I would totally do this

My DH has done several marathons and an Ironman and it massively helps him when he sees me (and sometimes the kids) cheering him on

Ignore it OP. Maybe if it was his first ever marathon that would be different, but the guy is a regular marathon runner. It’s seriously not that big of a deal