Not to spectate while Husband runs the London Marathon

[SaveAHorseRideAHighlander]

I'll keep it as short and sweet as possible -
We are going to London for the weekend as DH is running the London Marathon, just the two of us going without the kids. Have a hotel booked near the start line on the first night, then another hotel near the finish on the second night.

My plan is to walk down to the start with him, wave him off, then take the luggage across to the second hotel (early check in arranged), drop the bag off, then have a lovely little wander by myself, get a nice pastry and coffee etc. I'd then meet him at the bottom corner of St James park when he finishes.
My friend thinks I'm being unreasonable for not picking a spot along the way/making my way direct to the end and waiting for him to pass by.
My thoughts are, he'll be busy concentrating on running, he's not overly emotional so I don't think he'll care (he's agreed to the plan!), and apart from when he's running we'll be spending a lovely weekend together.

So hit me, am I being unreasonable?

I live in London and have never had an issue spotting friends who are running the marathon. Just pick an area that isn’t completely rammed such as Canary Wharf (the bonus being there are also lots of shops, coffee places and toilets plus good transport connections). If you go to the Wharf, I’d recommend a pastry and coffee to take away from Ole & Steen and then find a spot by the waterside in the sun. Track your runner on the app and you’ll know approx when you need to be roadside (and then you’ve done your duty and can carry on ‘pastry eating’). I live very close to the marathon route (to the extent that I won’t be able to use my car this weekend as I’m trapped by closed off roads - some of the barriers are already up when I was driving at lunchtime today). It’s certainly an experience, unlike any other running event I’ve been to (and there’s been quite a few!).

You are already supporting his hobby by making the spending the money, engaging in the travel, no doubt getting up ridiculously early so he can get to the race start, transporting the luggage, switching hotels during a brief stay, and having the weekend primarily focus on his needs. Standing on the side of the road isn’t a necessity. You can spend your free time however you wish.

Marathon runners are in general very selfish people. Take off for hours a day “training”, just suiting themselves. Who has time for that?! You should be selfish too! It’s not an achievement, we could all do it if we had the time to commit to training. It’s all for self-glorification. Don’t watch

I wouldn't bother with the start its so busy, stay in bed then transfer luggage to hotel.
I'd pick a point easily accessible to where 2nd hotel is and grab a coffee and go for a look. If he sees you great, if not it's a nice atmosphere anyway.
My dh runs, he's done a few marathons I've never been. But if I was travelling with him I'd probably go for a look.

OP I’m in a husband and wife running relationship, I’m the runner - I wouldn’t mind one bit if DH did his own thing on race day and I went to find him later. It can be quite stressful as a spectator - I remember running Manchester marathon one year and he tram-hopped to try and follow me and missed me by minutes at every stop 🤣
I hope you both enjoy your weekend!

I'm with you op, especially given you've seen him run many times from the sounds of it. I've never enjoyed running and never been interested in others running nor the marathon, I think I'd hate standing about watching people run past, maybe I'm not cultured enough. Id get the coffee and enjoy your mooch about.

Well, you know, if he doesn't have someone shadowing him around London to yell his own name at him and support him in his effort to elevate his own hobby to a hero's quest with some serious main character energy - does he even know he's run a marathon?

Yanbu, you know your husband and your relationship, ignore what everyone else thinks

OP, YANBU! Do what feels right for you. Your husband knows you support him. Not every runner cares if there's someone physically standing there to cheer them on, because it's something they're doing for themselves because they want to. It's enough to know you've supported them every day leading up to the run.

Do you need to plot in several locations across the route, at the exact time he's running past, wave a flag at him, then get into a taxi to move to the next location?! Or you're expected to walk the marathon yourself on the sidelines?

What you propose sounds totally reasonable. If your friends are so anti it then maybe they should come and cheer him on themselves.

You'll be at the start and finish, surely that's enough?
You could have time to do something interesting in between. If you and DH are happy then that's all that matters.

Nope - you can't watch him run, you can stand for 4 hours and watch him pass you once. I'd watch him start and then meet him afterwards. My DP runs and that's how I do it..

If you change your mind, I helped out a mile 20 (Poplar) water station a couple of years ago and that seemed like a good place to be. Not too busy but enough atmosphere. This article suggests mile 21 is a good spot.

www.timeout.com/london/things-to-do/where-to-watch-the-london-marathon

Watch him finish - if you watch when he’s running he’ll be gone past you in a minute ( I have experience of two marathons btw 🤣) Enjoy London on your own for a bit.

He may be stoic now but 20 miles in just seeing someone you know and them cheering you on makes such a huge difference. London is also very hard almost impossible to get a place at so it could be a once in a lifetime thing.
If someone I loved was running it I’d be there, even if just at the final few miles and finish line.
OP please be there at the finish line, it really is a special event in running terms and even if he doesn’t say it now i’m sure your DH will appreciate it.

I would do what you are planning OP. At least you are going!

I have lived in London for 30y and avoid central London during marathon weekend. It’s not for me.

I'm with you OP. I think it sounds very boring especially on your own.

It's his marathon, not yours. You standing around on pavement jostling with crowds, getting sore feet, etc., is not going to make a bit of difference to his experience.

Go have your pastry and a nice wander away from the crowds, guilt-free. I can't image a bigger waste of time than standing in one spot waiting for a few seconds of a runner flashing by.

Btw why not just stay in the hotel near the finish line for both nights and take a cab to the starting point?

YANBU OP. I run London every year, have done for ages. I hate having spectators 'of my own' if I have to tell them where to go, when I'll be coming through, and look out for them and not miss them. Absolutely love seeing people by chance along the way, and clubmates and acquaintances from my running community (who I don't have to organise in any way!).
I'd advise you to plan the day you want, whatever that looks like. Avoid the start and close to the finish if you can. Avoid v busy places like Greenwich/Cutty sark, Canary Wharf, Tower bridge, Houses of parliament. If you like watching the elites, the fast end, the mad folk in costumes etc then do that, it can be quite special. If you dont, then dont!
If he knows when he'll get over the start line (easier if he is on Champs or GFA than in with the masses) and the pace he'll be going then its possible to pick your spot and know the 10min window in which you'll spot him pretty accurately, but if you are going to do that you have to pay a lot of attention to spot him. If neither of you are that bothered I'd say its not worth the faff.
And get a few streets away from the finish area asap! (In St James park is OK, can be really nice if the weather is good)

Totally and entirely between the runner and the OP. No one else is entitled to an opinion. I'd say waving him off and then getting his luggage to the hotel so all he has to do is finish the marathon then go and flake out IS support!

Aw London's pretty special and you're missing out if you take the pastry option op. Spectating marathons is more gruelling than running them and obviously you should have been following a 16-week spectator's training plan but there's still time to get your t shirt printed and make your witty sign! There's loads of info for spectators on where's good and how to get around. Do it! (And hope he doesn't take up triathlon.)

Well you were lucky to spot him!

We did see our DD relatively near the start and then at the end,

We managed a peek in the City but that was luck - she didn't see us

I go to countless sporting events for my children and husband. Heck, just returned home for an international sporting event for one of them. But there's zero chance I would be standing along the route of a marathon for a few hours waiting for a glimpse of him for 15 seconds. Timing it to meet him at the end of the race? Sure, why not. But I would definitely be doing something form me int he middle. I provide enough support for everyone's events in this family.

Definitely being unreasonable. I've run the London marathon, and seeing my loved ones at the 20 mile mark really got me through it. Your husband has worked so hard for this. Just be there for him.

Same. Would 100% avoid areas with marathons if at all possible!

I have run it. My family have spectated, but we completely missed each other. Don't worry about watching him. Watch a bit, but don't stand around for hours.
Watching the elites go through is pretty incredible and a lot of the charity others are fabulous .

So I would watch a bit, but don't worry about standing there for hours. So go and enjoy your day