Not to spectate while Husband runs the London Marathon

[SaveAHorseRideAHighlander]

I'll keep it as short and sweet as possible -
We are going to London for the weekend as DH is running the London Marathon, just the two of us going without the kids. Have a hotel booked near the start line on the first night, then another hotel near the finish on the second night.

My plan is to walk down to the start with him, wave him off, then take the luggage across to the second hotel (early check in arranged), drop the bag off, then have a lovely little wander by myself, get a nice pastry and coffee etc. I'd then meet him at the bottom corner of St James park when he finishes.
My friend thinks I'm being unreasonable for not picking a spot along the way/making my way direct to the end and waiting for him to pass by.
My thoughts are, he'll be busy concentrating on running, he's not overly emotional so I don't think he'll care (he's agreed to the plan!), and apart from when he's running we'll be spending a lovely weekend together.

So hit me, am I being unreasonable?

I am running Manchester marathon on Sunday .

My sister is the only one coming up to support me. I have no idea where she will be on the route ( we will briefly look at the map on Saturday night)
She will wave me off and be at the end point. I am running for charity and will be wearing a shirt - there are charity supoport points so I will be cheered there.

In my experience of busy races, everyone cheers everyone on.

Do what suits you both.

Enjoy it !

Yes I'm afraid to say I find running pretty boring - well done to everyone who does it as I couldn't!

The finish line is usually super hectic, it isn't an easy spot for meeting up or watching a particular person.

Something I found useful for supporting at super busy races is having a nickname for the runner. Lots of people will shout encouragement for runners by name if they have it on their shirt or will cheer for the charity etc. But a nickname can help if the runner wants to see you / know you're there.

How quick is he? It matters for the crowds, if he's easily sub 3hr you should be able to see him somewhere without too much hassle if you want to, but forget The Finish Line, absolutely no chance of seeing that as a casual observer!

Last year I saw DH on the Isle of Dogs then headed to Westminster and was v lucky to get a good spot just before he came through, then headed to the end to meet him. But another half hour onwards it would be too busy to manage that.

This year, I'm probably not even going to go down 🤷‍♀️😆

Basically, do whatever works for you both op. There is a big difference between first marathons and yet another race as a seasoned runner+spouse combo! Do both things if you want to, but enjoy your pastry and weekend either way!

Dropped my husband off once at a marathon and came to pick him up at the end. It was a wet and miserable marathon like you’d expect in Scotland and he finished a little earlier than I thought. Boy was he miffed. 7 years later a friend who runs was flabbergasted when I was telling her the story. She couldn’t believe I didn’t stay to cheer him at the end. I’m now into fitness not so much running but frankly at that time I thought people who ran marathons were mad. That being said I hear London is special, I’d probably hang about at the end to cheer him especially if you know how long he plans to take. I love cheering him on now at his 5,10k and half marathons mostly cos I get the kids so excited to do it.

They choose to do this you know - no one makes them.

Running marathons is a selfish sporting activity anyway due to the time it takes. I'm sure he puts running first quite often, nothing wrong with you putting yourself first.

I think you're plan sounds fair. You'll see him at the start, and at the end. There's not much to do in between, so why not go off and enjoy yourself.

I ran a race once (not as far as a marathon) and honestly I didn't even look at the spectators. My parents came to watch and they were near the finish line taking photos. I didn't see them. I really wouldn't have known or minded if they'd been off getting a coffee while I did the long, not very interesting bit between the start and finish line. I was just in my own head, running, not paying attention to much else. In fact at the finish line I was so close to throwing up I'd have been glad of no one I knew seeing me 😆

I've run marathons and been supported by DH and vice versa. London is SOOO busy, no way would I try to support along the way. So much effort for 30 seconds cheering!

Beginning and end is great. If you can find him at the finish with his favourite drink you will be grand.

My sister and brother in law ran it (different years) and watching it both times was special. We made signs and cheered everyone on. Especially near the end where some look like they'll not finish. It boosts them!

You won't be able to get near him at the start op - the whole of Greenwich Park is closed to non-runners who have to be there quite some time before the start. Then when they do go it'll be like trying to spot a needle in a Haystack if you get on the course near the start - literally tens of thousands of crazies starting their watches and trying not to run into other crazies until the field things a bit.

Better to stay in bed and have a good breakfast before schlepping all the luggage over to the new hotel.

I would have been disappointed if my dp hadn't been on the route to cheer me on - we agreed a spot and I he tracked me on the app so knew when I was about to pass. But I left him in the hotel first thing, nothing he could do for me anywhere near the start!

have run 10 Londons.

Unless your runner knows exactly where you'll be (and on which side of the road) they won't see you. Have managed to run past supporters waving a flag before - it's easily done.

for anyone who wants to support I recommend Limehouse DLR - you can get to 15 and 20 mile points easily and there are newsagents to buy supplies. Easy DLR and tube to the end.

OP if you are staying near the start then you can walk most of the way with him. I never had that and as a runner would like it.

St James's Park will be rammed at the end - v difficult to get to. Horse guards is a bit easier - or better still one of the pubs at the top of Whitehall. Whitehall is closed so if he needs a sit down there's plenty of kerbs.

It is an emotional event and personally I've loved supporting over the years - but it's fine if you don't fancy it - have your celebration at the end!

I have several childhood memories of the London marathon.

The biggest one, which O wasn't even there for, was the Year they lost my Brother, who was about 7.

The only reason we ever saw my dad is we stood in exactly the same place every year.

Thank you for this - I have to say he is a very good husband and doesn't put it first. We have a very happy and equal relationship but after 18 years, military service for him with long periods of time away, all of us moving abroad for his work, health scares for me, two dangerous pregnancies and deliveries, and our young son being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes 3 months ago, we are very used to what life throws at us, and very stoic about life.

YANBU I have an ex that is really into running and I used to go along to races all over the country, walk to the start with him, go off and do my own thing while he ran and then met him after. Plenty of others do the same.

That's not true - non runners can get into the park (or onto the Heath if starting there) - they just can't get into the start area.....

I’ve run it twice.
The first time, my mum and sister set up deckchairs near the finish (you can’t get to the very finish but can get nearby) and had a lovely day, but they were there from very early in the morning to get a space. They and the people around them took it in turns to stand on the barriers as their people came past. My husband (was bf at the time) found several areas on the course to watch me and was more tired than I was at the end of the day because of all the traversing across London amongst the crowds.
The second time I ran it, nobody came to see me. Mum & sister didn’t really want to do it again, and my husband was working. It was a little bit bittersweet, but he came to meet me afterwards and actually it was fine.

My husband has run one marathon (not London) and explicitly forbid me from watching. He said he didn’t want anyone there distracting him. I got a call from FIL during the race asking where I was - he was flabbergasted that I wasn’t there supporting and had turned up himself anyway despite being told the same thing.

Anyway my point is, do what works for you. There is no right or wrong. I will say that if you haven’t experienced the atmosphere of the London Marathon before then it might be nice to head to the course (Embankment is a nice easy place to get to) because it is amazing and unlike anything else I’ve taken part in, but ultimately you guys just do what works.

I ran it a few years ago and I can't tell you how much it meant to me to see my family and friends along the route. It was so emotional and it meant so much that they were there, especially in the last 6 miles when everything was hurting.

The London Marathon is one of those events that restore faith in humanity. It's a wonderfully uplifting event and I've been involved as a volunteer ever since. You're missing out OP.

I'm with you OP. Neither my husband or I mind re. having friends or family there to cheer the other on.
If this isn't his first, he's realistic about what to expect and doesn't mind I'd go ahead with your plans.

I wouldn’t have gone to London if I wasn’t going to watch tbh.

I agree.

Also. Why does this Friend get to pronounce judgement on your plans for the day and tell you to do something else, when you've already worked out what you want to do with your time.

They're not the boss of how you spend your time are they?

Ah, must be my jaded memory failing me. That said I think we were about an hour waiting in the pens ready to start...

Gosh I can’t imagine my loved one doing this momentous thing and me not wanting to support them or be there to cheer them on. You could get coffee and a pastry any time!?
I would feel so sad if I went to do the marathon and my partner didn’t care about cheering me on. It suggests a real disconnect.

I would imagine there is quite a bit of luggage for someone running a marathon bearing in mind the bits of kit that may be needed to "mend" them. A two night stay is usually not much different to what i would need for five nights. And she will be taking it for two people not just a ruck sack for one person. It will be a minimum of a full set of clothes for the runner (as clearly he is not going to wear his running gear once the marathon is finished). Not sure why you picked on that for your comment.

Yep I'm with you, as long as your DH agrees. You've already watched him do a fair few races so this isn't a new thing and you'll be there before and after, he's not doing the whole thing alone. Watching races can be boring if you have a family member who participates a lot. I can't imagine hanging about railings for 4-5 hours.

I agree. Nobody runs a marathon if they don't want to! Enjoy your coffee and pastry OP!