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Original poster

Not to spectate while Husband runs the London Marathon

187 replies

SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 15:39

I'll keep it as short and sweet as possible -
We are going to London for the weekend as DH is running the London Marathon, just the two of us going without the kids. Have a hotel booked near the start line on the first night, then another hotel near the finish on the second night.

My plan is to walk down to the start with him, wave him off, then take the luggage across to the second hotel (early check in arranged), drop the bag off, then have a lovely little wander by myself, get a nice pastry and coffee etc. I'd then meet him at the bottom corner of St James park when he finishes.
My friend thinks I'm being unreasonable for not picking a spot along the way/making my way direct to the end and waiting for him to pass by.
My thoughts are, he'll be busy concentrating on running, he's not overly emotional so I don't think he'll care (he's agreed to the plan!), and apart from when he's running we'll be spending a lovely weekend together.

So hit me, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 22/04/2025 15:52

It’s absolutely fine! I’m running and DH isn’t even coming to London. He watched the first two times I did it, I don’t expect him to give up his weekend every time I do a marathon.

BarnacleBeasley · 22/04/2025 15:52

How fast is your DH, OP? If he does lots of marathons and isn't bothered about you watching him, I'm guessing he's reasonably fast. London is more fun to watch when the slower runners are out on the course because that's when you'll get all the funny costumes and the people for whom it really is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But having said that it is still quite good watching fast runners to see elite athletes, and there's an amazing atmosphere. I can't really imagine 'having a nice wander and getting a coffee' on marathon day in London and totally ignoring the marathon altogether, as it's such an iconic event. I'm sure there are bits of the course where you could have a nice coffee and spectate the marathon - if you head somewhere towards the later part of the course you could see the elite races before your husband gets there. As PPs have said, you won't get anywhere near the start pen, so you could just drop your bags off and walk along the embankment. It's not normally too crowded there in the earlier part of the day.

Clockface8 · 22/04/2025 15:53

RandomUsernameHere · 22/04/2025 15:52

It’s absolutely fine! I’m running and DH isn’t even coming to London. He watched the first two times I did it, I don’t expect him to give up his weekend every time I do a marathon.

Is this your husband’s first London marathon out of interest op?

Cookiebix · 22/04/2025 15:54

It's actually an event worth seeing if you haven't been before. By far the most exciting thing happening in town that day, a proper spectacle

Assuming he's not someone who runs marathons every weekend, I'd be gutted if my OH CBA to come and support, even if I didn't say so.

edwinbear · 22/04/2025 15:55

DH has run it twice, the first time I did the mad dash, from the start at Greenwich Park, then to Cutty Sark, up to Deptford, then to the Mall - with DS in a buggy and my MIL in tow. The 2nd time I met him in a pub at the finish. The 2nd time was better 😀

Pootles34 · 22/04/2025 15:55

I'm guessing your friend doesn't have a runner husband, and therefore never had the delight of looking out for them for absolutely ages, then had a very sweaty husband 'in the zone' completely ignore them? Meet him after the end as you say, if he's happy why do you care what anyone else says?

Bleachbum · 22/04/2025 15:59

My DH ran the Paris marathon, the Boston marathon and the Chicago marathon. I did exactly the same as you are planning for all three. I was at the start and finish and pottered around the rest of the time. It was lovely and my DH wouldn’t have noticed if I’d been on the sidelines as he would have been in his zone and not looking for me anyway.

doodleschnoodle · 22/04/2025 15:59

Sounds like you’re seeing him off at start and meeting him at end and he’s a seasoned marathon runner so probably doesn’t need the morale boost like someone doing a marathon for their first time, so I don’t see the issue. Don’t get bogged down in what other people might do or what other people think, this is your decision for you.

nahthatsnotforme · 22/04/2025 16:00

My husband did it a few years ago. Our hotel was near the finish and he had to leave quite early to get across London to the start. No way was I doing that.
I couldn’t work out where to go to see him (the crowds are immense) so decided on near the finish. Waste of time. There’s boarding all along the last few hundred metres and the finish so you cannot see them finish. He found me in the park.
Youd see more staying at home and hoping to see him on the telly.

BarnacleBeasley · 22/04/2025 16:00

There's definitely a very London-y feeling party atmosphere which I honestly feel would enhance any coffee-and-pastry stroll. However, I have run London multiple times and while I've appreciated family and partner spectating, I never made them try and get anywhere near the finish line. They tended to cheer me on from a pre-arranged sensible location and then meet me at the end.

BarnacleBeasley · 22/04/2025 16:02

Oh, and here's a tip for unsentimental London runners having a lovely weekend mini break: you can part-fund your trip by selling your medal and t-shirt on e-bay straight afterwards.

Original poster
SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:03

BarnacleBeasley · 22/04/2025 15:52

How fast is your DH, OP? If he does lots of marathons and isn't bothered about you watching him, I'm guessing he's reasonably fast. London is more fun to watch when the slower runners are out on the course because that's when you'll get all the funny costumes and the people for whom it really is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But having said that it is still quite good watching fast runners to see elite athletes, and there's an amazing atmosphere. I can't really imagine 'having a nice wander and getting a coffee' on marathon day in London and totally ignoring the marathon altogether, as it's such an iconic event. I'm sure there are bits of the course where you could have a nice coffee and spectate the marathon - if you head somewhere towards the later part of the course you could see the elite races before your husband gets there. As PPs have said, you won't get anywhere near the start pen, so you could just drop your bags off and walk along the embankment. It's not normally too crowded there in the earlier part of the day.

He does a fair few marathons, and half marathons, most years. He did Snowdon in 3 hours 50 this past year. Sounds terrible but his training regime (he'll admit himself) isn't the most robust - he enjoys running and seems to be able to run them without a huge amount of training. I'm sure it will soon catch up with him!

OP posts:
Clockface8 · 22/04/2025 16:03

BarnacleBeasley · 22/04/2025 16:02

Oh, and here's a tip for unsentimental London runners having a lovely weekend mini break: you can part-fund your trip by selling your medal and t-shirt on e-bay straight afterwards.

For how much?

Original poster
SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:05

nahthatsnotforme · 22/04/2025 16:00

My husband did it a few years ago. Our hotel was near the finish and he had to leave quite early to get across London to the start. No way was I doing that.
I couldn’t work out where to go to see him (the crowds are immense) so decided on near the finish. Waste of time. There’s boarding all along the last few hundred metres and the finish so you cannot see them finish. He found me in the park.
Youd see more staying at home and hoping to see him on the telly.

This is what I was thinking. Having watched the event (or brief snippets of it!) in the past, it seems incredibly busy, I wouldn't know where would be best to watch him and he might not even see me!

OP posts:
Clockface8 · 22/04/2025 16:05

Doesn’t sound like either of you are fussed op

so I wouldn’t give it another thought

doesn’t look like he will

Anywherebuthere · 22/04/2025 16:06

Do what you want and dont feel guilty about it. Especially as your DH is fine with the plans too.

It's a no brainer that you both enjoy the day doing what you both prefer to do.

It might be special and emotional for some people but it isnt for everyone. Thats ok. I would rather go explore and have the pastry and coffee too.

menopausalfart · 22/04/2025 16:06

I stayed home when DH ran the Brighton. At least you're there.

Onleemoi · 22/04/2025 16:06

It’s such a boost seeing people you know but if he’s a seasoned runner he might not need the boost that I did!

Original poster
SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:07

doodleschnoodle · 22/04/2025 15:59

Sounds like you’re seeing him off at start and meeting him at end and he’s a seasoned marathon runner so probably doesn’t need the morale boost like someone doing a marathon for their first time, so I don’t see the issue. Don’t get bogged down in what other people might do or what other people think, this is your decision for you.

I'm not really bothered about what others think, just was curious about opinions. My friend is very emotional in general, which is absolutely fine, and we were having a friendly debate. Thank you!

OP posts:
Cookiebix · 22/04/2025 16:07

SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:05

This is what I was thinking. Having watched the event (or brief snippets of it!) in the past, it seems incredibly busy, I wouldn't know where would be best to watch him and he might not even see me!

Show quote history

When I ran my first marathon, seeing the people who'd takne the time to support me in the crowd was a huge boost. It is hard for supporters to spot their runners, but if the runners know where you'll be it's not so difficult for them to see you.

Plus the event as a whole really is wort seeing, not just because you know someone running.

Original poster
SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:09

Clockface8 · 22/04/2025 15:53

Is this your husband’s first London marathon out of interest op?

Show quote history

First London one, he's done Snowdon 4 times, I can't remember which others he's done over the years. For Snowdon we tend to spend the weekend with the kids in a quiet village, and we sit outside the front door and hand out sweets to everyone as they pass - a bit different to London though I would assume, there's only a handful of people on the same street!

OP posts:
user1471548941 · 22/04/2025 16:09

London on marathon day is like nothing else, it is so so emotional. The crowd is why- several times it’s been the cheer of a total random that has kept me going and it’s also an absolute spectacle- all the charity runners and fancy dress. Total magic. Knowing your family are waiting at mile 19 or whatever is such a special thing.

But you’re on your own which makes it harder and much less fun as a spectator. I also think marathon day means you will struggle to find a nice quiet spot for a coffee and pastry- it takes over the entire city!

So I think you need to be flexible. As PP says, there is no way you will get near the start with him- so many closed roads etc and only runners allowed through. He will also need to be at the start hours before he actually starts.

So I would say wave him off in the morning from your hotel and enjoy a lie in and your nice coffee and pastry without leaving the hotel. Once you’re ready to go with the luggage, head off to that hotel and find a spot to spectate fairly near the finish. The non river side of the Embankment can be less rammed and it’s a lovely point to see people- near the finish but absolutely in the pain cave. A lovely place for a hug if you’re in need of one at that point! Give him a good cheer and walk to the finish to meet him whereever you agree!

BarnacleBeasley · 22/04/2025 16:09

Clockface8 · 22/04/2025 16:03

For how much?

Show quote history

It's a while since I've done the marathon. The medals used to go for about £50-80 but you tended to make more money if you got the listing up straight away while buyers were still keen, and if you threw in the t-shirt too. I mean, it doesn't cover all the costs of actually doing the marathon, but it comes in handy.

Fernleigh22 · 22/04/2025 16:09

I'm glad not everyone has your attitude or it would be a long lonely marathon for all the runners with no atmosphere and support

Gettingbysomehow · 22/04/2025 16:09

For God's sake even if she does watch the whole thing he'll only pass her once and probably won't see her because he'll be running ffs.