Things you've noticed that are frowned upon on mums net

[ChitterChatter1987]

I'll go first 😆

-Kids sharing rooms
-Complaining about schools or teachers
-Feeling upset about a friend hurting you
-Having more than 1 kid on an income under circa 50-100k, or having more than two on an income under circa 100-150k
-Renting long term
Complaining about dogs being given human rights.
Complaining about grandparents care of DC's 'because it's free so like it or lump it!'

Making friends through work. Often accompanied by a sneering “I spend five days a week with these people - why on earth would I want to spend my spare time with them too?”

Erm, maybe spending that much time with someone is enough to tell you
whether you like them or not? Why is it “sad” to be friends with colleagues you’ve got to know and like, but it’s actively encouraged to develop friendships through a one hour a week yoga class or book group? And there’s always the slightly gleeful “The friend who won’t last once one of you change jobs” too. Well, maybe some won’t, maybe some will. I have a couple of good friends I met through work who I’m sad not to see as regularly now; but on the other hand, I went on holiday recently with a “work” friend I haven’t actually worked with since 2013!

Mumsnet has lots of autism trolls, MNHQ has posted about about them, so I think people are suspicious that it’s a troll when people use that sort of language. I’m not saying the pp is a troll, just explaining why people may react negatively.

MN seems to delete threads that do not need deleted, and refuse to delete threads that do. I think this has been pointed out for a long time.

Rightly so!

Believing in God

But equally, the day is all about the bride and groom. It is frowned upon for being upset that you aren’t invited - even if it’s your son’s wedding, or your sister.

No one should expect an invitation, so you are being ridiculous being upset.

You must never, ever, even mildly criticise WLI.

Oh, I've thought of some more:

Making your own decisions about what you're happy to let your own child watch, instead of adhering strictly to BBFC age rating

Influencers

Preferring not to age naturally

Male nursery workers

Letting your child just chill out and amuse themselves in their spare time rather than attending arranged clubs and activities

Spending a day indoors, because it would mean everyone was 'climbing the walls'

An indoor pedigree cat escaping the house and getting pregnant; I remember a poor OP getting the Star Chamber treatment on here a while back.

Your DP wanting sex with you, if he does he's a raging sex pest who should be readily willing to accept a sexless marriage.

Baby showers
Not aspiring to private school
Tolerating annoyances in a relationship rather than ending things over a trivial issue

I agree, there is no mileage whatsoever in making sweeping and judgmental remarks about other people's choices in this respect. It's not like it will change anyone's mind and some will have perfectly valid reasons for feeding their children food that, in an ideal world, children wouldn't regularly eat. But describing one's food choices isn't automatically a criticism of anyone else's for choices, and that's often how it's taken. Caring about our kids' diets is a good thing. It's right that we challenge those who lack understanding about why for some parents an optimal food regime is harder than for others, but there is zero point in sneering at people for taking an interest and making an effort.

It’s really not

It started off as a term, used fairly minimally, to critique women engaging in extreme emotional behaviours and public outbursts. Now, however, it’s (over)used rather frequently - in many cases in response to women simply daring to have an opinion, speak up, or advocate for themselves, seemingly with the intention to silence/minimise. So, it is unfortunately. What’s the equivalent for a man?

The very existence of men. 😆

I would still use Karen 🤷‍♀️

It’s not about using it as a ‘female name’ so much as identifying a character trait. You don’t say that women can’t be dicks because Dick is a male name and a dick is a male appendage…

if you want to, much like actor and actress, you can use both for a lady or actor for a male. With Karen and ‘male Karen’ you can use both for a man but just Karen for a lady

Of course it is.

What's the male equivalent of Karen?

AND…it’s not about an extreme emotional outburst, it is about entitled and demanding behaviour. Both men and women can display that

So why isn't there a male version of Karen?

Having an autism or ADHD diagnosi

Yes - the reaction from one pp in particular was completely disproportionate and actually very personal and upsetting. We ought to be able to discuss these topics without fear of being pounced on for a minor crime of not knowing the up-to-date terminology. I'm happy and grateful to be corrected, but not happy to be treated like a criminal!

For the same reason there isn’t a male version of doctor. I have already answered this further up.

Karen is both male and female. But if you really need to label gender then you can call it male Karen.

Karen is not a female name in this instance, rather a noun, much like table, jacket, bread.

Sending your kids to private school
Criticising teachers or the NHS
Shouting at your husband or your kids
Caring about global warming
Expecting grandparents to take an interest in their grandchildren
Accepting the idea that some people are genuinely transgender

I think it’s gets a little tiring that on a parent forum, where people post to ask for parenting advice about seemingly normal behaviour, on the first page someone always suggests ADHD/Autism

Appreciating in laws and parents.