Dating an older man I just don’t understand him?

[Backtoworktmrw]

I’m 30 dating someone 55 I have known him for a good 3 years and dated on and off. We are trying to make a proper go of it this time. He has begged and pleaded for me to be with him and give him a chance. He’s took me away on weekends away and really made me fall for him. I should probably say he has just been diagnosed with high blood pressure so may be I am expecting too much. I just spent the weekend with him he slept most of the weekend he wasn’t well. Now he has just gone cold with me barely texting or calling. I feel like I’m chasing after him!

AIBU? Do I just accept he isn’t well? I almost feel like he’s finally with me and now lost interest.

My DH retired at 55!

The age gap will start to show, don’t do it

Foul, ageist post.

a 36yo had saggy lines in front of his ears?? 🙄🙄

Gawd. I'm 56 and I just couldn't cope or be bothered with a 30 year old partner. You must be amazing. But do think multiple times if this is really for you. He might just have been ill this weekend which happens to everybody, but if you are going to think it's all over every time he has a bad couple of days healthwise, I've got bad news for you about his rapidly approaching retirement years.

My partner’s 56 and he doesn’t need to sleep all weekend. This isn’t an age thing.

If his blood pressure meds are at too high a dose, that could make him feel dizzy and shaky by bringing it down too low. So could mixing blood pressure meds with Viagra… just a thought.

It’s also perfectly possible - I suspect more likely - that he just had a bit of a virus or something.

You say you spent the weekend with him and he hasn’t been in touch much since… it’s only Monday?! Seems a bit premature to be fretting. He was a bit under the weather, as anyone of any age might be at times. So what?

He’s considering a child ‘eventually’ at his age? He’s either a bullshitter or a very selfish person. Who wants a pensioner Dad when they’re in primary school?
I am sure he does love the idea of being with someone a generation younger. What’s in it for you?

He hasn't made you do anything although he might have put some effort in to chasing you. Since he's gone cold it sounds like it was all about the chase.

For what it's worth, the age gap is too wide. The illness at the moment might be temporary but that's giving you a taste of what it might be like as time goes on. Do you really want to be a carer for an old man before you hit your 50s.

Don't do it. I had a 55 year old chasing me. He lied about his age online. I'm 15 years younger.

He makes ditches at impressing me, then just blows hot and cold. Wants things done his way.

I just couldn't be bothered with the wierd games.

Hand on heart I think ten year age gap is the maximum. That was advice given to me by someone who was married several times and is about to marry my close relative.

Honestly, with that age gap, I wouldn't be "trying to make a proper go of it". I'd say it would only be worth it if every moment was fabulous and you didn't need to make any effort at all.

Saggy lines 😂 Oh dear.

They age gap is grim, why doesn’t he want women his own age? That’s wrong with him?

He’s too old to be a dad again. Run run run

Girls of older fathers have less symmetrical faces. What the actual fuck. You sound delightful.

Indeed - I'm 66 and felt fitter than I had in years (after three months of much more exercise than before) in December, when routine tests included BP and showed mine was high enough to require medication.

Which has reduced my BP and I'm still feeling fitter than I have in years.

He’s 55 and still playing games with women’s feelings. Sounds exhausting and demoralising.

Eww…

Is he mega wealthy or something?

@Backtoworktmrw At this moment of time I’m just not sure I’m going to take a step back. do you mean you are not sure SO you are going to take a step back or you are not sure THAT you are going to take a step back? you missed a word so it isnt clear!

Well let’s hope you don’t give others the ‘ick’ in your 30s with your various lines. I means seriously grow up ffs 🙄

The difference between 50 and 75 is staggering
55 and 80 more so
It works for some but not worth tolerating for anything less than your soul mate/ bff / second half.

age gap + off and on for years + love bombing & cold shoulder and the stuff about wanting kids is either total BS or delusional.

RUN!

He’s too old for you. I agree with @CherryBlossomPie and have always held to 10 year age gap. It’s plenty

You can do better OP this one doesn’t sound right for you or your son for that matter

Run away, my darling! You are young! You deserve better - without a doubt!!!!!

He's old enough to be your dad 😬

Ugh. Dump him and run. Live your life and find someone your own age!

Just don’t do it OP. This guy will be elderly before you know it - and you’ll be his carer. Unless he is a super famous film star, you can do better!