To think this is cruel on the children?

[Phillipconnarthy]

I know it's not my business, my children etc. But I'm just sharing an opinion.

A friend has two children, a boy aged 5 and a girl aged 9. Every summer, they're shipped off to their grandparents for the majority of the school holidays.
Their grandparents live 300 miles away. Obviously they get updates, facetimes etc. But I think that's pretty cruel, particularly on the 5 year old.

A week or so I could be totally on board with, but nearly 6 weeks? Anyway it's up to them, just wondered what people thought.

Can't believe how many posters think this is okay :-/ actually really sad how many people think 2 young kids spending 6weeks 300 miles from their parents is acceptable.
Grandparents are not the same as parents, and I am assuming if they live 300miles away their relationship with their grandkids isn't THAT close anyway!
Clearly parents who prioritise work over spending time with their children...so sad especially at such young ages where they need their parents most.
Same with Nanny's/au pairs...end up being surrogate parents to the kids even on holidays etc, and think it's really sad 😔

That's good because I don't agree. I was a very happy child at home., loved my parents etc etc but my Nana 💕💕💕💕💕

My Nan and grandad used to come to stay with us in the summer school holidays they used to come for about eight or 10 weeks, (we had moved overseas) my parents were working and so I know it's slightly different in there. I used to see them in the evenings and we do everything together as family at the weekends, I would've happily gone overseas to them for the school holidays but it was less practical to send too small children back to the UK.

Me and my sister were packed off to rellies in South Africa for the long school hols. We bloody loved it. It was the 70s and we were put on the Blue Train alone to travel to the next set of rellies.

Shouldn't be either though for the majority of the time!

If they have to work then the children have to be somewhere, they might prefer Grandparents over holiday club.

This is what working parents have to do.
They don’t always have much of a choice and in some areas clubs are rare.
The amount of School holidays aren’t the same as with work

Some people use boarding schools for work reasons too.

I don’t have a problem with it if the kids are OK with it.

Both my parents worked full time. No such thing as holiday clubs.
parents had same two weeks of with us. Rest of the holidays, from much too young I had to look after two younger sibs. Had to shop and clean house. Not allowed friends round. So boring. Would have loved to have gone somewhere someone had time for us.

They might have a wonderful relationships with them, so maybe it's triggered feelings from your childhood. Often I find when something really gets to me, it's often because it triggers something about my past.

Personally I couldn't do it as my parents don't have the tolerance for youngsters for more than a few days and I would miss them too much.

However if I had a wonderful relationships with my parents and my kids equally lived them, I would much rather use grandparents than 6 weeks of daily kids clubs where they don't really care.

I wonder why this is bothering you.

I've met a few parents who do this. Tbh I am jealous. It wouldn't be cheaper for me as I'd pay their way, but I ran into several of these GP/GDC holiday families on school hols and all were having a blast.

The GP's gave kids full focus & took them out to activities & everyone benefitted. So jealous!!

We (my brother and my cousins. 7 of us in total eventually) were shipped to Grandparents or my aunties house for the summer holidays and school breaks. No question about it!

Our parents worked (1 Aunty didn’t but she minded us if grandparents couldn’t). We loved it and didn’t really know any different. It was just our normal and always happened.

i will say, as a teen (13 ish) when I was able to stay home for a few days (Parents home in the evening) it was an absolute novelty 😂

Not necessarily. My family did this and I have amazing memories of it. My grandparents were so much fun. I’m extremely close with my parents and siblings, we speak multiple times a week and to the best of my knowledge I’m not damaged or have any issues!

It’s a real tough one be I think the real issue is how much pressure is put on parents to work so much. This probably wouldn’t be their first choice but it’s a pretty good choice depending on grandparents.

I’ve seen some incredible and dedicate grandparents and it may well do both the child and grandparents wonders. I can’t imagine it’s an easy decision on the parents.

unless of course they are just cold parents who arnt that bothered.

guess we’ll never know but hope.

It’s not how I would do things. I think children need their parents and agree with you OP it’s too long. But like pps have said, some children are v close to their GPs and if so they may have a great experience.

Sadly both sets of grandparents too old to take the kids for weeks at a time. My mom definitely did this for my nieces and nephews (unfortunately I am the youngest and had my dc late), and all of them look back very fondly on their long summers with grams. Instead I am looking at residential camps. This summer dc (8) will do a week, but assuming it goes well next year we will book in for 3-4 weeks, including one abroad. I would love to be able to spend the summer with them, but with both parents working it ends up being weeks and weeks of holiday club, which is tedious. Sending them away is the best way of ensuring they have the best summer possible and aren’t just stuck in child care.

ironically in light of the other thread on overnights, we were a family that never had their children spend a night outside the family home until they did a one night residential last summer. I would love a middle ground where we had family who could take them periodically- less for my own benefit and more for theirs as it would mean they were spending more time in a family setting and less time in childcare.

If kids are fully bonded with their grandparents why not?

Employed people get annual leave! And most self employed people can take at least afew weeks off surely.
And even if they did work every day,
why can't the grandparents come down and stay then the parents can still be with the kids evenings and weekends?!
Sounds like an excuse for 6 weeks child free to me! Hence why it's so sad....and what if one was suddenly taken seriously ill 300 miles from home too!

Not if the parents are working. If the parents are working then the children need someone to be looking after them.

Whilst we didn't go for every holiday, we did go to my grandparents house for a few weeks in the summer holidays without our parents. They are some of my happiest memories, I absolutely loved going to stay with them.

Edited to add my parents were amazing and we were very close. But I loved those holidays so much.

I'm with you. I wouldn't have done that in a million years.

I used to love spending the school holidays with my paternal grandparents. Single working mother, father long gone. I think we had a landline call once a week.

I’m a lone (widowed) parent. As such, I’ve had to send my son off more often than I would otherwise have chosen but he enjoys it so much more than childcare holiday camps which he didn’t like at all (apart from Scouts) He’s got aunts and uncles and half-siblings who live hundreds of miles away that we hardly get to see. They are often clamouring to have him stay and he loves going to stay with them too. I miss him dreadfully when he’s not here but not only does it not damage our relationship, it strengthens his relationship with his other family members. He also regularly sleeps over at his Gran’d house if I need to work late.

Morbidly (and pragmatically) I do think/ worry about what could happen to him if I died prematurely. By having strong bonds with other family members too it gives me a reassurance if anything were to happen.

Well when you do the math my dc have about 16-17 weeks of holiday and 2 parents have about 5 weeks of holiday each, meaning 6-7 weeks to fill even if you never take time off together.

if my choice for those 6-7 weeks was holiday club vs. Loving family environment with personalised days out then hands down family. And distance means nothing - My kids are far more than 300 miles from their grandmother, but have an amazingly close relationship even with only visiting once a year. if my mom were a bit younger I would happily leave my dc with her for weeks and they would love it.

I mean I wouldn’t do it, but it’s probably better than childcare clubs? At least the grandparents love them and im sure they take good care of them.

Erm, ................... Oh, nothing.

I'm just off to Pedants Corner. Pretend you never saw me.

Will again refer you to the math - school holidays > holiday entitlement.