To think this is cruel on the children?

[Phillipconnarthy]

I know it's not my business, my children etc. But I'm just sharing an opinion.

A friend has two children, a boy aged 5 and a girl aged 9. Every summer, they're shipped off to their grandparents for the majority of the school holidays.
Their grandparents live 300 miles away. Obviously they get updates, facetimes etc. But I think that's pretty cruel, particularly on the 5 year old.

A week or so I could be totally on board with, but nearly 6 weeks? Anyway it's up to them, just wondered what people thought.

Sounds fantastic. I would love that for my kids, and if grandparents were capable of it they would love it too.

And in the same thread that you reference there were many posters who said it’s fine for their kids to go to grandparents for sleepovers and those that said otherwise. That’s life, do what works for you.

I went to my grandparents every summer holiday, they were always the best and happiest six weeks of the year.

We don’t live near our childrens grandma anymore, he’s going to stay with her for a week during the summer holidays, he’s made himself a countdown chart as he’s so excited about spending a whole week with her.

If it's a choice between grandparents or summer holiday "clubs" if I was in that situation I'd choose grandparents.
Those clubs (or "camps" they are often oddly called) just feels like more school and not a holiday.

I got shipped off to my maternal GPs every school hols - they lived a 15-minute drive away from us and I'd only see my parents at weekends. GPs didn't drive but my parents did so absolutely no reason why they couldn't have picked me up/dropped me off each day. Looking back I honestly think my mother just couldn't be arsed being a parent. Much as I loved my GPs it was pretty lonely.

I am I the north east of England and my son and daughter’s grandparents are in Cornwall and Oxfordshire. They are older but would still only be happy with a week or so.

I couldn’t do it with my kids, I’d miss them too much but I was sent to my grandparents constantly from about 2 and I had a lovely bond with them, they were like my parents really and I was happy enough 🤷🏻‍♀️ hopefully these children are the same.

Why would that be cruel and why would you think it’s hard on the children? If it works for a family then I don’t see why this wouldn’t be a good idea? My husband was always sent to his grandparents and he has wonderful memories of it.

My DC was flown over to Ireland and stayed with grandparents for 2-3 wks in the summer holidays only. I would stay there too and work when younger but the only other option was long days in holiday clubs. He was already attending after school club. We had no family near us; it was the best option. Spending a few weeks by the sea vs being cooped up in his school playground/hall for most of the summer essentially never getting a break from school.

I’m taken aback that this is even being discussed. This is the reality when you have two working parents with 25 days leave each a year and mortgage/bills to pay. We didn’t do it for other holidays but needs must!

I wouldn't have liked this, but if the grandparents are nice and welcoming, it could be a good experience for a week or two. I can't see the justification for it being for the whole summer, as surely between them, the parents can save at least two weeks off together. Obviously, if there is something special about their jobs which means they both have to work all summer, that is different, but should mean parents undivided attention in all the other school holidays.

We were always sent to my Nans for the long holidays it was great I loved it.

I wish! DH and I work full time and we've had a rough ride with holiday camps. Fortunately grandparents typically provide a cover 2-3 times a week which is the favoured option for all involved parties. Not all grandparents are dragons despite their reputation on MN.

I was one of those kids! Spent there me and my sister 3 months summer holiday with my grandparents in the countryside. We were not the only ones (shock horror), I was seeing my cousins and my friends and we were running riot, swimming in the stream, running on the fields eating berries and fruit from the trees and hitting the local disco! My grandpa was just giving us money and scolded the older boys (cousins) to look after us with their eyes, and the world was our oyster. We were always in a group, we were never in danger and we had each other s backs! No one dares to pick on us, it was trully takes a village to raise a child. Going to my relatives and to my friends houses and always welcomed like their own! Meeting the animals, feeding them, and being spoilt rotten by my lovely grandpa for whom we were the apple of his eye. Listening to his storries in the evening by the wood fire. Trully, hands on heart, the best memories and the best childhood! So sad that the kids now days don't know this feeling. True, I was raised in Romania, in the 80s 90s where childcare for our poor working parents was not accessible. But wouldn't change it for the world! I miss those days so much sometimes I cry by myself.

Exactly
Don't think it's cruel at all
Grandparents are family

I thought the exact same thing- the children were sent off to random aunts houses for the summer etc

Why do you think it's cruel? We used to spend a lot of the summer holidays at our grandparents caravan, we loved it.

I spent every summer with my gran.
Dgs says with us for 3/4 weeks. He would like to stay longer but we think it's important he has a week or two with his local friends before going back in September.

Also my grandpa always looked after the swallows and he built stands up by the house for their nests to be secured. They were coming every summer to nest by his house, 4-5 families at least. My lovely grandpa said he was so happy when the swallows come as he knows this is when his girls come as well. I always remember this when I see a swallow. I was thinking to get a swallow tattoo just to onor his memory. He was trully a wonderful man to whom I own s much! Sorry, I am rambling and derailing!

I would have killed to spend every holiday with my grandparents!

From age 5-12, I travelled 1000miles away with my grandma to go back to her home country for 3-4 weeks every summer, every other Easter and some half terms. This was in the days before free/cheap international calls so I'd maybe call my mum a couple of times a week.

My mum worked full time, so instead of being stuck in a hall for the majority of my school holiday, I spent it with family and friends, exploring another country, swimming in lakes, and playing with my friends on their farm. I have some beautiful memories of playing in the hay lofts and riding go karts down the giant hill on the farm. I gained so much independence, and got to experience different cultural celebrations as well. If I was in the same position as my mum, I would do exactly the same with my child.

Well nobody is remotely interested in your opinion unless you can actually back it up with arguments when challenged.

I don't care what you think, nobody does. I might care why you think it.

I went to my nans house in Spain for the 6 week holidays when I was growing up. My younger sister stayed in the UK with my mum who was a single parent. They are the best summer memories I have with my nan! I wouldn’t judge unless you know the full story.

I would have loved this and it would have been very good for me.
It all depends on the grandparents of course.

Yeah it sounds cruel. I knew someone who ships off their 4 month old baby to their parents for 2 weeks so they could go on holiday. They did it more than once before they were 1. Why have kids then?

How do you cover school holidays with your kids?