Does anyone else not send their children to grandparents for sleepovers?

[nosleepoverss]

My child is 3 years old and he has never had a sleepover. Both sets of grandparents have asked about it and I just don’t see any need for it. We co-sleep, he still breastfeeds to sleep most nights and I don’t want him to sleep anywhere else/away from us and I see no reason why he should 🤷‍♀️ Surely I’m not the only one? 😂 I imagine he will be asking for sleepovers in a few years time but right now I just see any need for it?

The other grandparents and us have sleepovers roughly every 6 weeks. The DGC have loved it since they were toddlers. Their parents need a break and some time together. It’s always much anticipated and appreciated.

Mine did from very young .. I wanted to feel confident that they would be ok sleeping away from us, in case if any sort of en emergency.

I’m a weirdo who not only breastfed until 3 but also sent my dc to grandparents for sleepovers from before they were 1!

Each to their own.

Why are you so shocked by this?

It's possibly not the norm but then most women i know seem to have stopped before 6 months.

The benefits of breastfeeding continue to 2 years and beyond.

Oh no, don't ask that on here. You'll get told they will never, ever do anything they 'cannot consent to' because sending your child to a grandparents for a night is clearly akin to child cruelty 🙄

Surely it depends on the child and the grandparents. My nearly 3 year old has slept over at probably 4 times a year since 14 months, at first when needed (going away for a wedding etc) and more recently asks to. She gets a big double bed, pizza for tea and is generally spoilt rotten. She loves it, I love it for one night. What’s more, when I recently had to go to hospital overnight and my partner wanted to stay, I knew I had somewhere she could stay without worrying. However, all that being said that’s all only possible because I am happy, she is happy and I trust my mum completely.

DD1 has had regular sleepovers at my parents’ house since she was 3yo. We lived with them up until then so she was very used to them and considered it her second home. She’s 11 now and perfectly comfortable being away from us overnight and up to a week away at both sets of grandparents, family friends, school residentials…

DD2 is 4 and has sleepovers at both sets of grandparents. Nowhere else so far. She’s just back from a week at PIL’s and had a great time!

DS is 1 and not slept away from me yet but he is still breastfed during the night. I don’t feel comfortable leaving him yet but I will do when he is older and reliably sleeps through.

My kids have great relationships with both sets of grandparents and part of this is because they’ve been able to spend so much time with them. We trust them with our children completely.

No, mine don’t and are unlikely to to be honest. When pregnant I envisaged that they would but I don’t feel that they’d be entirely safe with any of their grandparents. They’ve never been left unattended with them. By the time the risk is negated a little by the children’s ages, the grandparents will be too old for me to feel comfortable leaving them with them.

How odd how people see no need? My favourite childhood memories are of staying with my grandparents. Mine stayed at theirs regularly as well. It’s great for kids to have a bond with your or your DPs parents. Also I think it’s good for them and it used to give me a break! They’re in their twenties now so no more sleepovers.

No, not yet. Mine is 5 and although usually sleeps through fine, still needs me in the night sometimes.
I bf at bedtime until 4 5, which was when my child decided they not longer wanted it. It felt natural for us and what I am comfortable doing with my boobs is no one else's business.

There isn’t a “need” but it is often a nice thing for bonding between grandparents and grandchildren 🤷🏼‍♀️

Those who breastfeed their 3, 4 and 5 year old children surely realise that their child could easily go a night or 2 without it, it's completely unnecessary at those ages. I can't imagine what possesses someone to breastfeed their school aged child, it is not normal at all.
I've had my granddaughter overnight regularly every 3 or 4 weeks since she was about 6 months old, I gave her her mother's expressed milk in a bottle when she was being breastfed. Staying overnight is beneficial all round, child loves it( she's 11 now), I love it and parents love it because they can have a night out, have a meal/go to concert/ have a few drinks/ get up late/ enjoy child-free time.

Not yet, at 18m. Once he's talking more at around 2, hopefully.

Both sides have indicated they're happy to have him.for a night in spite of the early wakes, but my husband is the spoilsport who won't let him go until he's sleeping 7-7... So possibly not til he's a teen?

I would love for my kids to do this but both sets of GPs live too far away. DH and I haven’t had a night away just the two of us for nearly four years.

If only! My parents and in laws will barely have them in the day on odd occasions without us, never would offer overnight.

That's nice. I can't imagine denying my child something they find soothing that I can easily provide. That is what doesn't feel normal to me.

My child has a lovely relationship with their grandparents and is most welcome to go on a sleepover if he wants to. They have plenty of daytime fun and do bedtime stories when we all stay over.

3 yo slept at grandmas once when we had a weekend away. That’s all. They’ve also both been babysat at our house ans slept in their own beds (my preference) a handful of times.

never for fun, just when help needed

Firstly OP ignore the breastfeeding shaming! You’re amazing!
Second - the main reason we introduced sleepovers was when I was pregnant with my second so it wouldn’t feel like such a big deal to my eldest when I went into labour and he had to go to his grandparents.
It was a nice break too!
Otherwise I don’t think it’s necessary!

We did, from babies, DC had toys and books they kept at each set of GPs. Also made time for them to go separately, especially as one boy other girl.

No it’s not normal at all. No normal parents do this to their 5 year olds. Or 3 year olds for that matter.

My children stayed at Grandmas aged 6 months onwards . They loved staying there.
My granddaughter has had sleepovers here every couple of weeks from 6 months . She treats our home as her second home . Everyone happy here.

Mine stay at my parents, first time I think DC was about 4 months old and we had to go away for a funeral. Never at mine ILS though, I don't trust MIL one bit. She was complaining I wasn't giving food at 3 months old, rusks in the bottle at 10 weeks and doesn't believe in allergies. Oh and she bought my 12 month old starburst and a sugar coated marshmallow animal on a stick.

Exactly. A lot of wierdness on here

Massively depends on family dynamics. My dd1 stayed with my parents at 18 months and dtds were about 3, but my parents are wonderful and loving. Stayed more as they got older. They go for a week in a half term and a week in the summer holidays and even this year have asked to go for their summer week - dd1 is 17 years olds and finds a week at grandparents is relaxing downtime she loves.

I hope I’ll get the same privilege with my own grandchildren.

That said, in laws don’t get the same due to their mental health issues.

I haven’t and DS is 5.5. Both sets of grandparents have offered but we’ve never taken them up on it although my parents have babysat for the evening at our house. We’ve never had a need to go away without him and he’s always been a good sleeper so it’s not like we need a break or anything. I’m sure it will happen at some point but he has a great relationship with both sets of GPs and it doesn’t seem to have harmed that.