Child maintenance

[Teantoast1]

Me and my ex have been broken up for 3 years now, he does pay a private agreed amount every month for child maintenance, however he is due to have another baby in 6 weeks and the closer the time is approaching I’m worried my child will be left out financially,would it be wise to involve csa?

In the kindest possible way op if he pays maintenance and towards clubs and uniform I absolutely wouldn’t be rocking the boat. (I also wouldn’t be asking for petrol money!)

Yes, and he pays you maintenance for exactly that reason- because you are the one with the child!

Should the gf wage not come into play seen as I’m on my own and they have double the income?

No she isn’t responsible for your child

No, she is not responsible financially for you child.
I think you need to adjust your expectations. I mean this kindly.

Men often threatened that, but actually quite a lot of of them end up with 50-50 care and paying Maintainence so it’s not the flex they think it is

Of course not🤣 and CMS would laugh at that question. She isn’t responsible for your child, you are, and their dad is. Their dad is paying you maintenance AND currently extras, you’re being very unreasonable and really cheeky to be honest I can’t believe he hasn’t shut you down before now.

You seem reluctant to tell us how much maintenance he is actually currently paying .

No. Her wage is completely irrelevant to your child.

If you go through CmS then they'll make clear to him that's his only legal requirement. He doesn't have to pay any extra.
They'll also give him a reduction on the basis he has another child.

Unless you think he's like my ex and his salary has increased by a lot (he was made redundant, got a min wage job during covid and then hid he had gone back to a good earning career) then you'd be risking a lot rocking the boat. Both financially and in any good will.

Which in my eyes is completely ridiculous. If it's 50/50 no maintenance should be paid to either parent.

Unless he is on ££££ he wouldn’t be paying maintenance if 50/50

50/50 isn’t an option as they both work full time and couldn’t get him to school / clubs

Yes he would, my husband has his daughter 50/50 (one week here, one week at her mums) we have to have everything she has at her mum's (school uniform, clothes, proper bedroom of course) plus we pay for clubs. My husband still has to pay maintenance.

Don’t pre empt him giving you less. Leave it as it is for now and if he gives you less than cms calculator later on then that’s an option. But you’re probably getting more now

Literally the only way that would be true is if you husband is a very high earner really.

The maintenence system in this country is an absolute shambles.

However you cannot expect another, unrelated, adult to take on financial responsibility for your child. Would you want her having equal say in schools, healthcare, maybe being called Mum too? Or is it just the financial side you want?

Some of what you're asking is absolutely reasonable, but some things, like petrol money and the gf paying are ridiculous.

How much does he pay exactly? You've been asked a few times but seem reluctant to answer.

That's absolutely untrue. It goes on a percentage of your income.

£250
clubs / half of phone bill / school dinners etc can vary up to 350

That’s really generous - he’s paying half the phone bill too?! Definitely don’t go to cms

as others have said you need to adjust expectations. For comparison I get £80pcm through cms (as he refused to give anything I had no choice) no extras I pay for any clubs, trips etc.

No. Her income is her own. She didn't make your baby and isn't responsible for them.Your ex is responsible your your joint child and his joint child with her. Technically, his CM to you would reduce on the birth of his child because he has an additional responsibility.

If he earns 30k a year, you have 2 kids together, that he has 1/2 nights a week, he needs to pay £341.58 a month. Once his baby is born that goes down £304.

It depends on what he earns.

Is he a high earner op?

I mean this kindly, but you are worrying over something that has not happened, I'd be spending my time preparing for my child to have a new sibling, it sounds like you have a decent co parenting relationship, and he is helping where he can, paying maintenance and helping with other costs.

Asking for petrol money was cheeky, but I expect you know that and have been finding things to cause issue with, like bringing up the girlfriends wage, which I expect is where you are seeing the problems since the baby was announced, because your rocking the boat.

I would not be going through CMS personally.

£250 a month for his son is generous 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 fucking hell.

I’m assuming that’s half of your child’s phone bill? Does he pay all the clubs too?