Room allocation for SC

[Withoutfearorfavour]

House being purchased 50/50 deposit and mortgage.
4 bedrooms
I have one child full time.
He has one twice a week.
I am adamant she has her room decorated in her preferred style. A lovely bed. Wardrobe with her own belongings etc.

Shes not a guest.
We do however need a guest room and we (he) will have guests weekly. He needs a study.
So do we have the study combined with the guest room? That feels fair.
But then I wonder if he should contribute more as he has more use of more rooms.

What do you think?

@Withoutfearorfavour 😂

Wow. It really does get worse and worse. And the bit about SC being a “mini him” under the mum’s roof.
OP I beg you do not blend this family. This child is so young. She’s vulnerable. She cannot consent to any of this .

What do you think going to happen to her ?
It’s not me that doesn’t like her father for goodness sake

Your posts objectify both her and her mother in a way that is very exposing.
You’ve implied her very existence is irrational / incomprehensible/ unreasonable to you (/mums fault- careless shag, why didn’t she just get an abortion??) , her family is not legitimate, her dad didn’t want her, you can’t understand how her mother would want her, and she is merely a guest in her dads home (despite her staying there two nights every week)?
This little girl really, really doesn’t need to be exposed to all this. She’s only tiny.

I see, well I’m literally just repeating what both the parents have said.
I guess when you create shit storms like this the child is doomed no matter what.
Sad isn’t it?

If he pays more when you sell then he will own more of the house, do you want this OP?

In many ways that would work out better for him on the basis that this is his only investment whereas I have others.

You're digging a deeper and deeper hole here OP.

My advice is keep yourself and your DC out of this.

The weekly visits of friends and family were bad enough before the dripfeed about the poor DD. It sounds like an absolute car crash.

The whole tone of your post and your responses is so so odd. Never read anything like it. Don’t know why you’re bothering with the whole relationship to be honest? What you’ve reduced your step daughter too is disgusting frankly. So COLD. Poor little girl.

She’s not my step daughter.

He doesn't have a room for his child currently but has spent 5k on books in the past year?

He sounds like a selfish waster.

It's a tricky one, but I think you're essentially overthinking this because deep down you know it's not a good idea - yet. Carry on as you are until the little one has started school and then revist.

I wish your partner found read this thread OP. You honestly sound like a nasty, judgemental piece of work who needs to. E kept away from that poor little girl.

I can’t defend those comments without revealing information thats just nothing to do with me so I’m going to ignore them.
Everybody is judgemental, especially when it affects their lives and relationships.

Why is that? That's actually a genuine question - is it because you don't want to get married? Or do you not see yourself in that role?

Without a shadow of doubt based on previous behaviour if there was even a hint of that behaviour from me the mother would stop access.

totally agree... we did this with DC age 15 ... now at uni, sees this as her house...

Really? Oh my goodness. That's awful. Could she stop access?

Do you have enough land for him to pay for an outbuilding office? Keep the spare room in the house for guests?

In answer to your original post….

a room each for the kids that’s exclusively theirs, yes.
combined study/spare room, yes
Him paying more, no, too complicated, rooms could be reconfigured going forward for many reasons, I just can’t see how splitting cost per room would work.

Another option could be a garden office/study. No matter who uses it it will add value. Just a thought.

Of course she can.

His fear is that it would take 6 months to get her into court. By which time baby doesn’t know him, no overnights, supervised access etc. That won’t fit around his work. It could go south very quickly.

With this sort of attitude about paying more because he's 'using more rooms', I can guarantee you'll be resentful about lots of things down the line. Do him a favour and set him free - I've literally never heard of anything so bonkers

Sounds like a business arrangement

That’s ridiculous OP. My husband eats more food than me, I probably use more water and gas as I love long baths. Should we start divvying up those bills?

Where does this splitting madness end?!

And you’re absolutely right it is.

Having been divorced previously and you see your entire life picked apart like a Contract more people need to realise in my opinion. That is exactly what it is a contractual business arrangement.
Romance is absolute bullshit very much like religion.