Room allocation for SC

[Withoutfearorfavour]

House being purchased 50/50 deposit and mortgage.
4 bedrooms
I have one child full time.
He has one twice a week.
I am adamant she has her room decorated in her preferred style. A lovely bed. Wardrobe with her own belongings etc.

Shes not a guest.
We do however need a guest room and we (he) will have guests weekly. He needs a study.
So do we have the study combined with the guest room? That feels fair.
But then I wonder if he should contribute more as he has more use of more rooms.

What do you think?

I think you have to understand that different people have different ways of navigating these situation and that’s theirs.
If the mother died tomorrow, her siblings and the grandparents would take the child not him.
I’m not gonna go into the ins and outs because it’s none of my business to be discussing on the Internet. But that’s their arrangement and they’re both happy with it.

If you are quibbling about investment amounts based on a study in a guest room you shouldn't be buying a house

Seriously what do women see in men like this??! It blows my mind every time.

Nope, her father's home is her home too, and always will be. Despite him not being a particularly involved father (every other weekend, and not even 50/50 in the holidays?? Good job you're not planning children with him, he sounds crap).

Wouldn’t take a genius to work out the situation based on the age would it?
There was no relationship To Be got over. Yes, he was an idiot. Yes, he’ll pay for that for the rest of his life.
It doesn’t make him a bad person

You're both sounding worse the more you post, to be honest. Grim.

Right

Honestly what the fuck??? I don’t get your thinking at all? You’re going to cause issues in your relationship with the attitude to money that you clearly have.

your daughter will be living there full time, so by your logic, you should be paying more? She’ll use the facilities more. More gas, more electric, more board. So you’re saying you should pay more? If you have a garage and he parks his car in there, is he to pay more? if he has hobbies that involve stuff that’s takes up room, he should pay more?

if you go away on a work trip or with girlfriends, should your mortgage contribution reduce that month?

weirdest logic ever. Did you talk to your partner about this and what was his response?

Ridiculous suggestion.

If he’s paying more, I’d presume you want to split the equity accordingly? He should own more of the house if you expect him to pay more. I’d run a mile at your suggestion.

He barely sees his child and openly admits if her mother died she would be sent to be raised by her grandmother.
It has nothing to do with age, he’s a capable adult buying a house with you and yes it does make him a bad person to have a child and barely give a fuck about them.
It’s a pretty major personality flaw and it’s mental the lengths some women go to in order to brush away a man’s past. It’s so desperate.

I meant the kids age not his.

And hardly. He’s actually incredibly lucky to be allowed overnight visits with an under two-year-old if you read the threads on here time and time again women are advised to keep breastfeeding until primary school to keep the father away.

The only reason why he is allowed that much contact because it suits her with her career.

His job is not conducive to family life. The next thing you’ll be telling me is that he should give up his job to throw himself at the altar. But of course that won’t apply to her who can only continue to perform her role because he does the two overnights and her parents pick up the rest of the slack.
And they would have to continue to do so should anything happen to the child’s mother.

Sometimes life puts people into situations that they have to make the best of and this is one of them.
As for his past well im sure we’ve all had drunken shags in our time 🤷‍♀️

Don’t buy a house together.

You are not thinking or working as a team.

As for his past well im sure we’ve all had drunken shags in our time 🤷‍♀️

You mean his daughter.

It’s beyond me why anybody would sign up for motherhood under those circumstances but she has and here we are.

I don't think so no but I can agree it can be a bit annoying to have much less space in your home. My DP had a study in our last house plus DIY zone and gym zone in the garage and so had so much more space in general for all his stuff and it did get a bit irritating and I wish I had carved out a craft space for me

I think he needs to buy a house for his life and his daughter...

You are happily housed with your son and space for him now and for the nearish future. Sounds like you are financially secure and comfortable...
You don't seem to gain much and potentially financially out of pocket from moving, and equally his situation is likely to change again once his child goes to school....
I would wait if I was you... There is nothing you are posting that sounds like you're desperate to share a house with a small child..

I have a dc a little bit older than yours and those end of school starting uni times are for calm and security as much as you can so many other major stresses are going on for them....

What about loo paper? Will you measure how many squares you each use? 😂

We’ve covered loo paper usage about six pages ago. Thanks for your input.

She didn’t get herself pregnant.

You’ve got a very misogynistic tone to your posts.

It’s a situation that’s incomprehensible to most people. As somebody who had single parenthood imposed on them, just find it very odd that somebody would sign up for it, with a person that they apparently dont like.
That strikes me as desperate.
Our children tend to be very like their father’s physically and behaviourally. So she has a mini him living under her roof. Very odd.

If you're buying a house together it's 50:50 or percentage of earnings if one of you earns a fair bit more. Not based on how many rooms you use. That's ridiculous and if you're entering into this new venture like that it won't last long.

More sexism on this thread. While I think it’s
mad she wants to charge him more for imaginary more rooms.
When women say their partners earn double they’re always told the higher earner should pay in proportion.
Here , even though OP earns double , 50/50
is ok ?

@Withoutfearorfavour you need to be more prudent with what you have. Don’t worry about your Ds coming back from uni to a different house he didn’t grow up in, that’s not going to bother him, he’ll be old won’t process the move

your boyfriend needs to buy something for himself, to adequately house his child, to provide stability long term

moving in together is not going to work out, you’ll be at different stages of parenthood, you will end up being put upon and taken advantage of.

I could weep for your life @Withoutfearorfavour, so aggressive.

His poor child, with you.

No wonder, some people have mental health issues.

Take a LONG, hard look at yourself. Are you capable of introspection? 🤔

you've laughed at my last post @Withoutfearorfavour

but... I hear your pain