Man in the park calling a baby sexy - aibu to consider reporting?

[Wiltingasparagusfern]

Just that really. A man in the playground kept singing SEXY at a baby (like that liberty X song tune) and also saying “are you a sexy girl? Are you going to be a sexy girl! SEXY!” Think she was his granddaughter. Her dad was also there.

Didn’t say anything as I was on my own, but there were other parents there too. He was doing it repeatedly. Left the park feeling nauseated and just wondering if it was some yucky family in-joke but well what if he’s abusing that baby or other children? Don’t know his name but know they are local and the baby’s name. Baby was between a year and 18 months I would say.

It was so ODD. I don’t know if it’s reportable or how that would work so please do advise. I have never come across something like this in my life!

I don’t think it’s a very good way to speak to a child but I doubt SS will be interested at all .

This is a (admittedly incomprehensible) thing some people do. I’ve seen women refer to their own babies and toddlers as ‘sexy’. I think it’s a combination of not being very bright, having a minimal vocab, and thinking of ‘sexy’ as the highest compliment you can pay to anyone’s looks. Yes, even a baby’s.

No, I don’t think it suggests that man was likely to be abusing that baby, just that he’s an idiot.

Yeah that’s what I thought too, must be a very high threshold for reporting. It just made me feel totally sick and worried for the child

Christ alive, what's wrong with The Wheels on the Bus?

I know, right?

He wasn’t just singing it, he kept calling her a sexy girl as well. It was utterly bizarre! All the other parents were just standing there like WTF

My estranged mum said this to my baby

I was taking her clothes off and my mum was like 'go on sexy'

I remember being disgusted but there were bigger problems

You could report it but it might be a cultural thing - he might think it's a joke

Same with people claiming their babies are flirting. So weird

Always creeps me out when adults refer to kids as sexy. Reading your comment really gave me the ick.
It's probably down to it being a high 'compliment' as pp said.
Children are definitely not sexy.

I mean, I find it bizarre when people talk about eating babies, but I’ve never reported anyone for potential cannibalism. I think you are overreacting a little.

Well I’m not overreacting am I, if I’m not doing anything other than asking for the opinions of others? If anything that’s quite a rational, measured thing to do if you’ve never heard anyone loudly and repeatedly call a baby sexy before. It’s not like I got straight on the blower to the old bill is it? 🤨

I wouldn't say the language he used correlates to abuse but, it must have been so unsettling to hear. He obviously feels very comfortable saying it.

Thanks for your perspective! I’ve never experienced that before, I am shocked it’s more common than I thought..:

Yes it was exactly that. So loud and so proud!
It was just really really strange. Mostly I just felt sorry for the baby not even being two and being pigeonholed like that so early as an object of male desire 😕

The couple of people I know who’ve referred to their baby or toddler as “sexy” are… ‘not the most intelligent’ is the kindest way of putting it.

I agree with this.

When DD was born, I went to an NTC second hand baby event. Someone was trying to sell their toddlers old pedal car and had 'made' a registration plate for it which read 'SEXY 1'

Funnily enough, they were there the next month and nobody had bought it.

I think that some people incorrectly see it / use it in a similar way to 'Princess' As in a way of describing their beautiful child.

I also used to have a mother come into my café and constantly ask me "isn't she sexy?" about her daughter. Admittedly her daughter was about 20, but it's still weird as fuck and I judged her hard.

I don’t like it when anyone calls a kid sexy🤮 I wouldn’t report it though, I think it’s an overreaction and I don’t think SS would be interested in this.

It’s really gross and creepy but I’m not sure that there’s anything you can really report here.

That was my instinct, too.
I suppose my only thought was that we all know about patterns of abuse, but if it’s just a piece of possible puzzle that on its own there’s not much you can do: there’s no law against being creepy.

I agree it’s disgusting, but that’s just how some people talk. My ex in laws used to say it to all the babies. Like it was interchangeable for cute. It made me feel ill, but I know there was nothing sinister behind it. Just weird language. SS would not be interested

Ok I feel so sheltered because you’re about the fifth person saying this happens? What the hell? I’m sorry you had to listen to that. It’s really gross 🤢

Sexy is not a word for anyone under the age of 18.

How would you ever know who they were to report them? It did cross my mind if he had some form or Tourette’s.

No definitely not Tourette’s!
And yes, that was my other thought. It was just so strange that I thought I should ask Mumsnet. Honestly never seen anything like it.

They used to swear at them too. The first time I met ex-mil, sil and her baby daughter, baby was sat on the floor and mil called her name and she didn’t turn round and mil shouted “ignorant bitch”. My jaw hit the floor! When they were playing with her it was all “you sexy bitch” in baby talk, like they were saying “you little cutiepie”. It was an education, and not a good one 🤢

Yes, you’re exactly right. A certain kind of person uses it as a synonym for ‘cute’., whether they’re referring to ‘that cute/sexy bar man with the tattoos’ or a baby who hasn’t yet figured out its own hands.

I think pp have nailed it, it’s interchangeable to some people with cute or gorgeous and said thoughtlessly. Probably be horrified at the suggestion they actually have sexual thoughts but towards the baby.

I bet the guy had little concept of the language he was using and would be mortified at the idea of his DGD being in sexualised in any way, especially by him the fact he was saying it in public may indicate his ignorance and hopefully he will be made aware of this. Soon.