Man in the park calling a baby sexy - aibu to consider reporting?

[Wiltingasparagusfern]

Just that really. A man in the playground kept singing SEXY at a baby (like that liberty X song tune) and also saying “are you a sexy girl? Are you going to be a sexy girl! SEXY!” Think she was his granddaughter. Her dad was also there.

Didn’t say anything as I was on my own, but there were other parents there too. He was doing it repeatedly. Left the park feeling nauseated and just wondering if it was some yucky family in-joke but well what if he’s abusing that baby or other children? Don’t know his name but know they are local and the baby’s name. Baby was between a year and 18 months I would say.

It was so ODD. I don’t know if it’s reportable or how that would work so please do advise. I have never come across something like this in my life!

WTF? I've never heard of anything like that in my life! How appalling. What a vile person.

I have heard several French people call their small children 'sexy', it seems to be equivalent to cute for them. I wonder if this man was also from another culture

Thank god I have never heard babies or children described like this in my earshot. I don’t honestly know what I would do but I would have liked to have given him an earful (but wouldn’t have).

I was advised by the NSPCC to report on the basis of very little information. I knew the child’s first name and the estate she lived on (several hundred houses). The police called me and asked various questions to help them identify her. No idea if they managed to track her down or not, but they told me reporting was the right thing to do. In my case it was suspected physical abuse, but I hadn’t actually witnessed abuse, just enough to make me suspicious.

Was he from maybe Philippines? We had a housekeeper, female, who used to say to my 3 yr old girl - - you look sexy. I asked her not to say it, but she did anyway. For her - it was equivalent of “looking so good”
She did get fired.

Absolutely minging.

Some people are just fucking weird.
One time at a junior school awards assembly a man, I would say a grandfather of one of the kids said really loudly "ooooh, she's a nice big girl isn't she!"
He was referring to a girl who had developed more than the other girls.🤑

Really? I have never heard that!

I never grew up on a council estate but my mum used to say bugger lugs. Never heard of bugger legs.

I have never, ever, heard anyone call a baby or a child 'sexy'!!!!! Euuuuuuu!!!

If it was that odd, could be a mental issue or dementia.

Yes. I’ve seen this and I think you are right. It is absolutely nauseating though. Since the aOP does t know the family there is no point in reporting.

Agree, I think it’s more likely to be stupidity/ ignorance or maybe English isn’t their first language

Oh god. I've actually seen this happen and it escalated into him putting the babies clenched fist in his mouth and pushing it as far back down his throat as he possibly could and then pretending to bite it's arm off.
I shudder at the memory.

It’s weird and it’s gross. My sister does it 😑I don’t think it’s worth reporting though as I really don’t expect SS would be interested or even able to act on this.

So every parent singing that to a child is automatically an abuser? Maybe the child juggles around to it at home! My niece at 2 used to dance to all sorts of songs but it didn’t mean she was abused!

Yeah I think most likely mean ‘gorgeous’/ handsome/ beautiful etc.

Everywhere you look celebs are hailed as being amazing and sexy and cashing in as a lot of ppl are obsessed with looks, and its currency, and if ppl are proud of their kids or grandkids they’ll say it about them. They aren’t aware it doesn’t translate to children and babies

This is the sort of thing my exh and ex mil would say…neither are the sharpest tools in the box.

It’s a working class thing to speak to children this way, my family use sexy, flirting, boyfriend/ girlfriend when referring to children. Yes they are twats.

@bridgetreilly @SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice

There is a scientific reason for why mothers say things like 'I could just eat you up' to babies or look at a baby's ear and think it's so cute they want to bite it.

Apparently it's to do with overwhelming intense emotion. The feelings of love and adorableness towards the baby are so strong that the body does something to balance it and comes out with a sort of aggressive desire to consume.

It's similar to people crying and laughing at the same time when emotions become too much to cope with.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/12/31/679832549/when-too-cute-is-too-much-the-brain-can-get-aggressive

Why didn't you say something (genuinely interested not having a go)?

I really couldn't have not said 'Oh my god why are you calling a baby sexy? That's something a paedo would say, you're really freaking all the parents here out.'

Be truthful and don't pull your punches.

The world would be a better place if we were all a lot more German about things like this.

That is so fascinating @MakeMineABombay.

When I was a child and my beautiful cat would stretch out his leg when he was grooming himself, I used to involuntarily imagine tearing it off and eating it, like Henry VIII with a haunch of roast meat.

Now I feel much better

Anyone remember the friends episode with them singing 'I like big butts' to Emma?

If its a pop song then its likely playing in public anyway, it might be the kids favorite song (they follow melodies not lyrical meaning). There a big step from singing common but slightly inappropriate songs in public and being a nonce.

Very inappropriate, what is most creepy is that the child’s father was there

I am laughing at the idea of you putting on a fake German accent and going up to someone and saying this! It’s funny. ( I lived there for years - the difference is stark, isn’t it?)