Man in the park calling a baby sexy - aibu to consider reporting?

[Wiltingasparagusfern]

Just that really. A man in the playground kept singing SEXY at a baby (like that liberty X song tune) and also saying “are you a sexy girl? Are you going to be a sexy girl! SEXY!” Think she was his granddaughter. Her dad was also there.

Didn’t say anything as I was on my own, but there were other parents there too. He was doing it repeatedly. Left the park feeling nauseated and just wondering if it was some yucky family in-joke but well what if he’s abusing that baby or other children? Don’t know his name but know they are local and the baby’s name. Baby was between a year and 18 months I would say.

It was so ODD. I don’t know if it’s reportable or how that would work so please do advise. I have never come across something like this in my life!

Oh this is a thing - sorry, this isn’t the most highbrow article but I can’t find the more academic one I’ve found before - https://www.mother.ly/life/wanting-to-eat-your-baby/#:~:text=Several%20studies%20have%20provided%20insight,that%20looks%20like%20a%20baby.

People referring to children as sexy is incredibly gross, but as others have said I would look at it less as a possible sign of abuse and more as a probably sign of idiocy on the part of the speaker.

I’ve heard people say this. It’s horrible- but I don’t think it’s reportable.

I saw a well known reality TV star and her partner refer to their two year old son as a 'sex bomb' on her instagram and though it was so inappropriate way to refer to a child. They then went on to post something like, 'he knows how to find all the pretty girls' and posting a picture of him hugging an adult woman.

Disturbing and cringe to say the least.

Some people get really silly around babies, that would disgust me as much as the whole “you’re so sweet, I could eat you up” (usually with lip smacking and often with pretend biting of hands and feet)

Just treat babies with respect…

I’m assuming they were not English?

People say stupid stuff, and language evolves.

I know plenty of people who'd refer to their horse as 'sexy' but they don't mean sexually attractive to them, they mean the horse is a good looking horse, its a term of endearment.

I find it grim when people use it with children but they're generally doing the same thing, 'sexy' means 'you're beautiful to me and I love you' not 'I have a sexual attraction to you' in this context.

Being of ethnic origin myself, I must admit this is what I first thought. I remember seeing a quite innocent clip where the granny in an extended family was referred to as ‘sexy’ during a Bollywood film 😅 and she looked all coy so I think for some cultures it’s considered interchangeable with the words cute and has a ‘still go it kind of vibe’. Just an alternative opinion. Would still make me uncomfortable and cringe hard in the context you experienced however it may not necessarily be something to worry about.

I wonder if English was their second language. Even if you are fluent,cypu can sometimes drop some clangers. In German I once accidently said I was sexy on a very hot day.

Who the hell would you report this to?!? Yes it's off but there's nothing you can do.

You're not being unreasonable, it is nauseating and completely inappropriate. As a lone woman though I'm not sure that I would say anything and you'd risk a mouthful.

My husband would say something though - and that's what it needs. Men expressing disgust at other men for their unacceptable behaviour. Not just this but all horrendous behaviour towards women.

I've heard it used to babies as a "term of endearment" - just doesn't sit right with me; but as a pp says, I don't think the parent (mother in this case) was the brightest person!

Er…why do you assume that?

He was white English.

Was hoping it was due to limited vocab/language confusion.

That they were white English is actually nauseating. I would report wherever possible.

Nope, he was English!

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable for finding this uncomfortable and weird but I don’t think there’s any way it would be taken seriously if you reported it.

I don’t think there’s anywhere I could report, really. I guess it’s up to the people around him to challenge it. It did make me feel sick though

I'm sorry for the little girl and I'm sorry that you had to hear it, OP. It would greatly disturb me too, whatever the reason behind it.

Years ago I was shocked to hear my friend asking her baby nephew if he was a sexy boy? It seemed to be a family norm. Like PPs, it's incomprehensible to me, as surely there's the potential for small children to unwittingly learn to tell people they're "sexy"?!

That is absolutely rank.
I have no idea why anyone would say that to any child.

Yeah you cant report it as you dont know who he is or where he lives so it's not much to go on. Maybe another time you could speak up and see what they say?

It's really fucking weird, OP, and I would have found this very uncomfortable if I witnessed it. Someone I know posts pictures of her toddler DS on SM captioned with "my sexy little man" and I feel queasy whenever I see it. I work with children in a safeguarding role so it touches a nerve for me I suppose. I certainly don't find it funny or cute. So I totally understand your discomfort, but I don't think this is really reportable for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, unless you know the child's full name or home address, or the parents details, there is nothing Children's Services can realistically do. They can't even log it on their system because "baby in the playground" could be anyone at all. Even if you witnessed something that was a very clear safeguarding concern, without the child's/parents contact details they have no way of looking into it. But honestly, even if you did have details for the family I think it's still highly unlikely this would be actionable. It's inappropriate, for sure, but it's not evidence of abuse.

My DC had a friend who used sexy as the best complement he knew. The dog being described as sexy was mind melting.
Some people just aren't very bright.

It is really disgusting. Were they British? I used to work as a nanny and some of the (female) housekeepers who were from the Philippines would often call the baby/toddlers sexy. I think they just didn’t have the English to know it was wrong until I asked them to use words like beautiful, pretty when describing what they were wearing/their appearance instead of sexy as it was highly inappropriate.

Kind of connected but not, My dd then around 3 said loudly in the park, ‘sing sexy mama’. No idea what she was saying but was quite worried until we were at home listening to the radio and that awful song came on.

I would have struck up a conversation with him and asked the girls name
sissy ? Lexy? Jessy?

did he have an accent false teeth ?

I had a “friend” who used the word sexy in the same way you would use sassy or cool she said this to her 7/8 year old boys we had a conversation and she thought it was ok

she was northern ?