To be fuming at her for this!

[Sicksicksick9]

I own a caravan in Wales and I invited my best friend and her 4 children to come to it for the week for a free holiday with my DS4 her DC are 12, 8 8 and 9 months. started off well but 4 nights in and at 9pm her youngest started being sick now she’s been sick and her and all her kids have been sick at this point it’s now midnight and she’s like I wanna go home. We came in my car though so I’ve now had to cut my DS holiday short to go home in the middle of the night in a 3 hour drive sitting with kids being sick she’s refusing to let me drive my own car stating “not being funny but you’ll make everyone sick with your driving!” My DS is terrified of sick my friend has shouted at him to stop screaming when everyone’s being sick I just feel like this isn’t fair. I think if it was me I’d have seen the night out and got my partner to pick me up in the morning but she was having none of it!!
im angry to the point I don’t think I want to be around her anymore
not drip feed but earlier in the week she passed me her phone to fix something and she’d text her partner complaining about my DS because in her words is “a fucking nightmare” for crying over wanting a donut the crying lasted less than 5 mins yet I’ve listened to her youngest cry every hour of the day and not complained to anyone. Anyway am I being unreasonable to be fuming at going home in the middle of the night when her partner could have picked her up in the morning

Yes, Completely agree. #BeKind. You should all think about all the things that anyone else could experience and make sure that you don't speak of any of them. It's your privilege to have to educate yourselves, and if you don't you're committing literal violence towards people with other views, especially the views you didn't know people held.

That hasn’t been a thing for 4/5 years. You can now tow trailers up to 3.5T if you passed after ‘97.

Also (nrtft), if your towbar is a retrofit and not declared to your insurer, your whole policy is void anyway.

The difference between a people pleaser and someone else is that a people pleaser will blame the other person for taking advantage of them and take no responsibility themselves for the outcome.

In this situation I would only be furious with myself. For allowing this to happen and for passively allowing my child to be so upset and for his holiday to be ruined.

I would be furious that I allowed someone take my keys and tell me what was going to happen.

I would be furious with myself that I put this awful woman and her children ahead of my own child and his upset.

I would be furious with myself.
I would take responsibility for myself.

I would not be furious with this woman who clearly has no respect or regard for me or my child.

I would be furious with only myself for letting MY child down.

This is why so many nice people avoid people pleasers and don't want to be around them.
They will let down those closest to them to feed their own ego.

That’s not exactly true either.

should've let her take the car and reported to the police for theft
or at least insisted on driving and dumped them at the nearest rail station.

Last time a "friend" criticised my driving (whilst driving in my car because she didn't like to use hers) I just pulled up at the nearest convenient spot and told her to get out.
Twenty years ago. Haven't seen her since.

I wouldn’t let her drive my car. No way would anyone that was still vomiting been allowed in my car.

At least you know now what kind of friend she is.

I have Fully comp insurance but if I drive another person’s car it’s only third party so if she crashes your car then you are basically out of a car and no money back from her insurance.

What is the fascination with Emetaphobia on this site?

In 12 years of nursing I have never come across it

@Lanzarotelady , it's emetophobia, fear of vomiting or seeing others being sick.

OP just coming on to say I think you handled it well. You are now rid of her.

Imagine how the rest of the night would have gone if you had not dropped her home. She would have been ranting and raving. Your poor DS would have been stuck in the caravan all night, upset by the puking and her carry on. You took the sensible option.

I hope your DS or you haven’t caught the bug, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the Easter break.

Most nurses and GPs I’ve mentioned it to aren’t aware of it. Interestingly though, all the midwifes I encountered were familiar with it. I had midwives and other healthcare assistants advocating for me during my labour and EMC, making sure I got preemptive antiemetics before epidural and any other meds/procedures that might cause nausea. They were bloody brilliant; I was dreading having to explain it but they said it was relatively common and they’re used to it!

I wasn’t aware of it until my daughter started suffering with it. The only fascination I have with it is trying to find ways to manage it.

Everyone I know is fully comp but unless they’re a named driver on your insurance I don’t think it works like that anymore I’m afraid.

Sorry, but her and all her children are being sick. I’d have cut the holiday short and taken them home.

and yea I understand why she’s got annoyed at your child, whist being sick and trying to attend to several sick kids and he’s screaming? I mean? Is he okay?

anyways it’s an unfortunate situation and nobody’s fault. Draw a line under it.

Assuming the caravan has plumbing i wouldn't have agreed. Someone would have had to pick her up in the morning.

And if I absolutely felt I needed to agree. She could sit with her sick kids and I'd be driving. Why were you in the back BTW? Who else was in the front?

Your car, your caravan, and your GUESTS are sick…I think you already know the answer as to what to do with this friendship. I’d also suggest doing some work on self-assertion. if you don’t put boundaries in place you can’t really then moan about the thing that you didn’t put boundaries in place for.

It seems like you don’t know each other that well either. I’d struggle to spend that much time in such a small place with somebody and their children if I didn’t know them very well. Lesson learned.

I mean yanbu but yabu for driving her home. No way I'd be doing that if I knew they'd be throwing up in my car

Best response on here 👏🏻

I agree. I doubt anyone likes vomit. Every dislike doesn't warrant a diagnosis!

You should have told her to go home in her own transport . Leave her home ask her for full fuel money and go back to the caravan . Do not invite her again

I just had to look it up as well it says fear of vomit or of being sick. It doesn’t say fear of reading about somebody else being sick. I know someone who has a terrible phobia of spiders but doesn’t mean she can’t read the word ‘spider’.

I'd have let her go then reported the car stolen

You’re minimising something that you clearly have no experience and know nothing about. Pure ignorance

The fact you invited a friend with 4 kids to join you and your son making a total of 7 people to vacation in one caravan is crazy.