DD says my snoring keeps her up at night but DH and DS say they can’t hear me

[ML5]

Hi everyone just very confused right now. DD says my snoring keeps her up at night and she can’t sleep yet DH/DS say they can’t hear me so I am very confused by this. Yes I do snore but if it’s keeping DD up then surely it would affect DH/DS as well.
DH & me sleep separately (but not because of the snoring) DS & DD have their own rooms.
I sleep downstairs bedroom so this has confused me a lot.

I feel very sorry for your dd.

And she is right, you are being selfish.

She has told you repeatedly the snoring is an issue and yet rather than do anything about it you are having a tantrum and denying it's an issue.

In answer to your question, yes it's possible. Dh snores like a beast, dd isn't disturbed by it but she is a heavy sleeper. I am a very right sleeper and I can hear him all over the house.

Your room is belo it will echo and reverb around yours and hers

If there is a chimney in both rooms there will be airbricks in the breast and it will carry the sound and amplify it.

Do something abiut your snoring and stop gaslighted your dd.

She’s 21. Sounds like it’s time for her to move out.

As I said my DH sleeps next door to DD and he badly snores as well - as I sleep downstairs I said I was confused as to how DD can only hear me

Well, if she doesn't like it she can move out BUT I think you (and your DH) need to speak to the Dr about resolving your respective snoring habits. Snoring can be a symptoms of something more serious, and can also mean the snorer themselves isn't getting enough proper rest, so it needs sorting!

Well she is old enough to move out if is affecting her. I wouldn’t be worrying over it, she has choices

Sort your snoring out!! It's antisocial. Stop posting about it and do something constructive. Your poor daughter.

Are you sure it's not a family pet? DH thought I snored until I was working away and the snoring continued...it turns out the cat that slept on my legs every night was the culprit...

^This.

Plus buy her some earplugs and if she wakes you in the night again by shouting/texting etc, make sure to wake her nice and early with a vacuum cleaner.

Cheeky cow.

And are you less confused now posters have told you it’s because of the way sound travels?

You get to an age when you're grateful that your partner is snoring - reassures you that they are still alive. 🙄

So I am selfish for snoring and my DH isn’t? I am up every morning for work 630am and DD doesn’t work and regularly stays up until 2/3 in the morning then tries to sleep. DD shouting, banging doors, phoning & messaging me on weekends as well as work days because of only me snoring in the house is my fault and makes me selfish for my snoring keeping her up when I am the one getting up for work at 630? My DH sleeps room next to her and he snores badly is not a reason that it could very well be him snoring?

Yes I know it’s how sound travels thank you so I am not confused about that

Sounds like she’s a very light sleeper - get her some earplugs

What a lovely family you sound.

It's not selfish to snore, but it is selfish not to do anything about it. Saying your daughter can just move out isn't very nice.

Have you or your DH been to the GP and asked to be investigated for Sleep Apnoea?

It’s a serious condition and untreated it can cause heart disease, high BP, stroke, and diabetes etc.

My DH finally got investigated after years of me nagging and he had one of the worst results the consultant had ever seen. He now has a CPAP machine to use while sleeping which also provides auto feedback to the hospital.

Both of you need to see your GP asap.

It's extremely difficult to sleep if someone in the household snores really badly, and continued sleep deprivation is horrendous.

Especially if it's the sort of snoring associated with sleep apnoea. It would be good to get that checked out.

You sound annoying and a victim, poor you "so confused" and why isn't your DD blaming DH, do you think your DD is lying? Is there a backstory as to why your DD would say it's you and not DH?

DH and his mum both snore like troopers but it’s only DH who keeps me awake/wakes me up. Same as DD making an unusual sound will probably wake me up but the trains going past at the end of the street don’t disturb me in the slightest. I don’t think it’s necessarily the sounds itself, but how your brain reacts to them. Maybe your DD’s brain has rationalised your DH’s snoring but yours has a specific tone or particular noises to it. Especially if you wake regularly as it might be sleep apnoea - DH has a mild case and my god, the snuffling and big snorts don’t half drive me insane at 3am.

Tell her she’s an adult and to move out if she doesn’t like it.

I think she hears your DH but possibly you as well (as you are directly below her) and combined it's probably driving her mad.
Have you tried any of the remedies for snoring to see if that helps. My DH was told it was sleep apnea and had a breathing machine for a while. That might work for you or DH. I will say though that I found his breathing on the machine worse than him snoring. It was so loud and he used to sound like Darth Vader. So I guess that may keep your DD up too.
Have you asked how she knows it's you and not DH?

Yes I did ask her and she doesn’t say anything

Completely agree.
Why are people being horrible to the OP? She isn’t snoring on purpose!
Her DD is purposely waking her up by phoning her on her mobile etc. Trying to wake someone intentionally is an awful thing to do. AIBU brings out the worst in people with comments like ‘do you know how sound travels’ type comments and ‘you sort your snoring’.
NO! It’s OPs house the DD needs to sort out her attitude to her own DM.
Sorry but I wouldn’t stand for it if my DD was purposely waking me up. Disgraceful behaviour. She’s picking on her DM.

The time you get up for work has nothing to do with it - you’re keeping her awake and don’t seem remotely interested in trying to do anything about it.

Not doing anything about your snoring means not caring that YOU wake someone up. Snorers are unbearable.