DD says my snoring keeps her up at night but DH and DS say they can’t hear me

[ML5]

Hi everyone just very confused right now. DD says my snoring keeps her up at night and she can’t sleep yet DH/DS say they can’t hear me so I am very confused by this. Yes I do snore but if it’s keeping DD up then surely it would affect DH/DS as well.
DH & me sleep separately (but not because of the snoring) DS & DD have their own rooms.
I sleep downstairs bedroom so this has confused me a lot.

@ML5 oh OP, I have some ‘noise’ experience through work I must add lol

unless DH’s room is opposite and not adjacent to DD’s she hears YOUR snoring. You said they are next to each other, but that’s not enough.

noise travels in a straight line :-) so either opposite or top or bottom.

i am also a light sleeper. My brain also keeps familiar sound, so if she hears you said every other day, even when you snore is short on other days, brain will trigger the memory so dd won’t always be accurate how long your snore is all the time. Yup, this memory is enough to keep her up most nights, if triggered even so slightly as her brain is exhausted by the past.

DD room is right “next door” to DH bedroom
DD has big bedroom, DH small bedroom
DS has big bedroom next door to DS medium sized bedroom
My bedroom is directly below DD bedroom

I’ve just asked DH as he is better with both science and construction. (🙂). He says that wood conducts sounds better then bricks so if you have wooden floorboards and brick walls sound will travel better from downstairs. Does she have a carpet in her room? If not sound will travel better.
It could be also timing issue - she is trying to sleep exactly when you snore but DH and DS snore later.

Of course it might be the just a blame shifting tactic on her side because you disapproved her sleep habits.

Yes we have wooden flooring throughout the house apart from stairs and I can hear everyone walking around upstairs at night time and as DD bedroom
is directly above mine I also can hear her the most

This, surely the most obvious thing?

Just to add DD and DH swapped bedrooms so that DD could have the bigger bedroom and before the swap DD was complaining about DH snoring (not mine) and now that DD is in bigger bedroom she complains about my snoring which is very confusing

Accept it- your snoring is keeping her awake. Do something about it. Change your sleeping position, get a carpet for her room, swop rooms with your husband. Sleep deprivation is horrendous.

I’m sleep deprived myself from randomly staying up later and waking up several times a night so I’m more aware if my snoring and not husbands is keeping her awake and when I hear DD moving around her bedroom to use bathroom I again wake up and wait to see if she’s “shouting” that I’m keeping her up

Not just “shouting”
phoning my mobile and messaging me calling me selfish for snoring

She will have to get some ear plugs I reckon not really much you can do.

Well there you go. The floors are probably less soundproof than the walls, so she can hear you snoring in the room below more clearly than someone snoring in a room next to her.

As she’s an adult there seems to be a simple solution. When she’s in her own home she won’t be impacted. In the meantime your house, your snores.

It seems she’s getting at you for some reason, it all sounds like teenage behaviour on her part.
Phoning your mobile? I’d knock that on the head, no way would I put up with her purposely interrupting my sleep.
Yes it’s annoying if she can hear you both snoring but she needs to use earplugs and not be so awful to her own mum.
At 21 she should be having mature discussions, looking for solutions (sounds like she’s exaggerating anyway) and not calling you names.

If she wakes you up.send her the listing's for flats in your area no conversation needed

Well she’s 21, so if she can’t sleep because the people who pay the mortgage snore, she can move out. Or a cheaper option would be to get some decent ear plugs.

If you are waking up several times a night you could have sleep apnoea.

Please go and see your GP.
DH uses a CPAP machine for it and my sleep quality has improved no end.

You haven't answered the questions that people have asked about what you are doing to address your snoring and you don't seem to appreciate just how awful it is for those of us who have had to put up with it.

You think your DD is being selfish, but you are being just as selfish.

Everyone needs to calm down. Sounds like the sound insulation between the floors is bad so it’s not surprising that the person in the room above you is the most affected. But that’s no need for name calling.

Can you work out the most effective room allocation to isolate the snorers from the light sleepers?

I don't know how you are so confused, and if I was your DD I'd feel very frustrated at you.

Your DD bedroom is directly above yours and she has wooden floors, it's not that confusing at all, is it.

Stop playing the confused victim card and help find a solution.

Some people sleep lightly. Is there any reason you think she’d lie?

Sounds like you're both annoyed at each other? Is there something else going on at the moment between you both? It sounds as if you dont completely believe her which is strange and also the way she is texting you through the night saying you're selfish for snoring. Sounds like some tension there.
I'd tell her to try some earplugs and put your phone on silent so her texts dont wake you.

Honestly, your attitude would really irritate me if I were your DD. You’re incredibly dismissive and don’t seem to care how much your snoring impacts her in the slightest.

People are saying about her moving out because she’s 21 - fair enough - but OP’s attitude stinks.

There’s your answer then. You’ll hear footsteps above you but won’t hear them from the room next door and it’s the same for snoring.
You seem to think closing the door stops sound travelling but that’s not how it works

Surely the answer is for you and your DH to both address your respective snoring issues. Then you both sleep better and no one disturbs your DD.

Sleep clinic and see if you or your husband needs a C Pap machine. In the meantime, sleep somewhere else for a night but don't tell your daughter-see if she notices the difference?

What do you want people on mumsnet to tell you? No it's not you, you daughter is wrong/lying?