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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD says my snoring keeps her up at night but DH and DS say they can’t hear me

145 replies

ML5 · 18/04/2025 23:57

Hi everyone just very confused right now. DD says my snoring keeps her up at night and she can’t sleep yet DH/DS say they can’t hear me so I am very confused by this. Yes I do snore but if it’s keeping DD up then surely it would affect DH/DS as well.
DH & me sleep separately (but not because of the snoring) DS & DD have their own rooms.
I sleep downstairs bedroom so this has confused me a lot.

OP posts:
Foxgloverr · 18/04/2025 23:59

Neither my DH nor DS have woken up when the smoke alarm or burglar alarm have gone off so it's highly possible that they can sleep through your snoring but your DD can't.

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 18/04/2025 23:59

Does your DH snore and she can actually hear him? Family dog?

Are DH and DS very deep sleepers and you do actually snore?

My Mil can be heard from the other end of the house and it is a sound that really, really bothers me.

Somuchfree · 19/04/2025 00:00

We have a similar situation. I think/hope she is being dramatic, but suspect the others just sleep more deeply.

Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:00

Yes DH snores

OP posts:
AnotherHappyCamper · 19/04/2025 00:00

It's quite conceivable that your DH and DS sleep more deeply and so they're not disturbed by it. Your DD is obviously a light sleeper.

Sparrow7 · 19/04/2025 00:01

How does she know it's you?

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 19/04/2025 00:01

ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:00

Yes DH snores

Record yourself tonight (there's snoring apps) and you'll solve the mystery.

Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:01

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 19/04/2025 00:01

Record yourself tonight (there's snoring apps) and you'll solve the mystery.

Show quote history

Thank you I will do this to see

OP posts:
Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:02

Sparrow7 · 19/04/2025 00:01

How does she know it's you?

I have no idea but her bedroom door is closed and she says my snoring is very loud however I sleep bedroom downstairs

OP posts:
YourSnugHazelTraybake · 19/04/2025 00:02

Not necessarily. People have very different hearing ranges. My partner can virtually hear a pin drop when he's asleep and it'll disturb him. I sleep much deeper but have always woken when the kids stir, even if they don't fully wake. My now adult son could and has slept through us knocking down a brick wall in the room below his bedroom!

Coali · 19/04/2025 00:04

I knew each of my family members’ snores. They could all sleep through it, it was a nightmare! Some didn’t bother me, but my sister’s was the worst. It was so loud!! We all went on holiday recently and it brought back all the memories!!!

Floatlikeafeather2 · 19/04/2025 00:09

Is her bedroom directly above yours? Some people are really sensitive to other people's noise, snoring, coughing, clearing their throat etc. Perhaps she's one of those. As your husband snores, does she also complain about him? She might also be grossly exaggerating to try to make you uncomfortable/seem unattractive etc. Teenage girls can be real idiots at times.

Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:11

Floatlikeafeather2 · 19/04/2025 00:09

Is her bedroom directly above yours? Some people are really sensitive to other people's noise, snoring, coughing, clearing their throat etc. Perhaps she's one of those. As your husband snores, does she also complain about him? She might also be grossly exaggerating to try to make you uncomfortable/seem unattractive etc. Teenage girls can be real idiots at times.

Yes bedroom is directly above but she’s only been complaining for about 4 weeks now - before she didn’t complain at all 🤔

OP posts:
adviceneeded1990 · 19/04/2025 00:11

She’s clearly just a lighter sleeper. My husband and DSD can both sleep through anything. Literally, including a fire alarm once. The dog turning over in bed wakes me. I feel for your DD, can you get her good ear plugs? Being a light sleeper is torture at times!

Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:13

Just to say my husband snores badly as well and their rooms are next to each other so I am confused as to how it’s my snoring that is keeping her up when my bedroom is downstairs if that makes sense

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 19/04/2025 00:14

It’s possible that she is a light sleeper and can hear you.
It’s also possible that location of bedrooms makes your snoring more audible for her. It doesn’t matter that you are downstairs, sound can travel up as well.
It’s also possible that the sound you produce annoys her more, people snore differently.

I can’t understand your post do you believe her or not? If you don’t want to disturb her, can you close your door for the night or maybe change how you sleep e.g put pillow to the other side. If you don’t believe her ask DH or DS to come and check you later at night.

FinallyHere · 19/04/2025 00:15

When DH mentioned my storing keeping him awake at night I booked a GP appointment and took DH with me. Doctor was unsurprised, said snoring is not a medical issue (so long as don’t stop breathing ) and only an issue if partner does not get to sleep / sleeps deeply enough to not notice.

sorry

RampantIvy · 19/04/2025 00:17

If you both snore what have you done to address it?

Italiangreyhound · 19/04/2025 00:17

My son has complained about my snoring and i have been tested for sleep apnea, which I now know I have. So, I think it is worth following up.

Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:17

pizzaHeart · 19/04/2025 00:14

It’s possible that she is a light sleeper and can hear you.
It’s also possible that location of bedrooms makes your snoring more audible for her. It doesn’t matter that you are downstairs, sound can travel up as well.
It’s also possible that the sound you produce annoys her more, people snore differently.

I can’t understand your post do you believe her or not? If you don’t want to disturb her, can you close your door for the night or maybe change how you sleep e.g put pillow to the other side. If you don’t believe her ask DH or DS to come and check you later at night.

I believe her that I snore but my husband snores badly every night as well so I think she’s thinking my husband snores are mine. My bedroom door closed at night.

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 19/04/2025 00:25

It could be your DH as he could have different snores. My DH sometimes produces really high pitched snoring which is absolutely unbearable you might confuse it with female snoring. His other “low type sound” snore is not so bad.

How old your DD ? Could it be that she is going through exam revision or similar worries and struggles with sleep hence her noticing sounds more? I would look at this, plus screen time and caffeine intake.

Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:27

pizzaHeart · 19/04/2025 00:25

It could be your DH as he could have different snores. My DH sometimes produces really high pitched snoring which is absolutely unbearable you might confuse it with female snoring. His other “low type sound” snore is not so bad.

How old your DD ? Could it be that she is going through exam revision or similar worries and struggles with sleep hence her noticing sounds more? I would look at this, plus screen time and caffeine intake.

DD is 21 years old and has a lot of screen time before she goes to bed & goes to bed very late as well (have advised her not to but she’s a adult) also she blames her sleep deprivation on me

OP posts:
Mudflaps · 19/04/2025 00:31

So both her parents snore and her sleep is being effected?? It doesn't sound like either of you have addressed the snoring and that you don't seem to believe her. I can hear my husband breathing in a different room with the doors closed and him using a cpap machine so yes, some people have very sensitive hearing and their sleep can be destroyed by unaddressed snoring. Get yourself and your husband to a doctor and find out why you snore and get some good quality ear plugs for your daughter.

Original poster
ML5 · 19/04/2025 00:34

Mudflaps · 19/04/2025 00:31

So both her parents snore and her sleep is being effected?? It doesn't sound like either of you have addressed the snoring and that you don't seem to believe her. I can hear my husband breathing in a different room with the doors closed and him using a cpap machine so yes, some people have very sensitive hearing and their sleep can be destroyed by unaddressed snoring. Get yourself and your husband to a doctor and find out why you snore and get some good quality ear plugs for your daughter.

I have already said I do believe her that I snore but as my husband badly snores as well and their rooms are next to each other and mine is downstairs I’m confused as to how she can say it’s my snoring that’s affecting her when I have my door closed.

OP posts:
Pleaseshutthefuckup · 19/04/2025 00:34

I'd be looking at every remedy for snoring so that no one is hearing you or your husband snore.

It's a difficult problem as of course you can't help what happens when you sleep. But to just dismiss the impact on other people who have to tolerate it is awful.

I have an alcohol dependant mum who couldn't give a damn how awful the snoring would be for anyone else subjected to the deafening sound.

If I lived with someone else and I snored, I'd try what I could to reduce it.