Neighbour knocking door at all hours asking for help

[daisyrabir]

There is a family that have recently moved in a few doors down.
English is not the native language and the family do not speak English very well.

A few times now the older lady has knocked on my door at around 10:30pm at night asking for help.
I did open the door and helped her with her phone issue.

Its like now it’s all the time, she will just come round in the day and night asking for help.

I have young children one of whom is a newborn and don’t want her to keep knocking on my door, especially at night.

She does this to the other neighbours as well.

DP has told me to just ignore the door now.
AIBU?

Mystified that so many women are happy to open their own front doors? Clearly by the amount of responses, you'll see that it isn't unusual and in fact sending your children to some perceived danger is less common.

😂😂😂

Tell her, after 5 pm she must not knock on your door unless it's life or death. If she knocks, answer and tell her to come back at x tomorrow.

No, but we have no idea if her partner is a man or not. What if it's a woman?

What if she's shorter than the OP-who should open the door then?!

Huh?

Why didn't the butler answer the door?

I see.

I appreciate it’s probably a bit old fashioned to say so but I really would have thought that in households with several occupants, it just makes sense to have the physically largest and more intimidating looking person open the door late at night to unexpected callers.

Again, I’m probably not allowed to say so any more but in the majority of cases, that person is a man.

I’m clearly a strange, old fogey though, so will butt out.

No issues at all.

It makes sense for you yo do this. No judgement whatsoever from me.
Imo it was your tone that was off rather than what you choose to do in your own house.

I would try to catch a member of her family, if they're working the chancess are their English may be better. It sounds like she's struggling and needs a bit more support and they may not be aware at the moment.

I don’t “send” my child (who is a 22 year old man). He automatically answers the door to unexpected callers late at night because he is by far the biggest and strongest person in the house.

As does our son in law at their home, who is physically stronger than our daughter.

They are both gentleman. Clearly, that’s out of favour these days.

Fair comment. Difficult to get intent across in writing sometimes.

Appreciate that I have riled some people. Not intentional at all.

We all base opinions on our own experiences. Mine is that in our family and in the families of friends and colleagues, in most cases men would open the door to unexpected callers late at night.

10:30 might not be that late in her culture? Just point out you don’t want her knocking after … insert time you deem appropriate, lots of shops and restaurants are open for business much later in some other countries so knocking on a neighbour’s door after work has just finished doesn’t seem so inappropriate as it does here when we like to lock up when it gets dark- presuming you are in the uk

I mean the ones unlike Jamie Callum and Sophie Dahl's family. In their family Sophie would obviously answer the door.

This is tiring. You clearly think your way is the only way so crack on. Just stop judging everyone who doesn't feel the same. Times have indeed moved on and I welcome a world where women are not afraid to open their front door if they wish to.

Where on earth have I judged anyone?!

Yes, this is tiring. Have a good day.

She’s taking the piss. Her difficulty managing phones etc and her poor English is not your problem. Either say no, or if that is uncomfortable, just don’t answer the door.

I just wouldnt even get of my ass to open the door at 10.30 at night unless im expecting ubereats

Are the asylum seekers or refugees? There are always VCSE support services in areas for this. I work in this community and do lots of signposting to government funded organisations as well as community based facilities, and yes, operate a service where I do lots of these things too.

It's above and beyond, but could you Google or look on Facebook for something in that area and give the information to them? They are often crossed with community pantries and food banks for refugees

There you go OP, send her round to @graceinspace999’s and she’ll help her. Problem solved

Anything short of ignoring/not engaging at all acts as an invitation for this lady to keep relying on you for help @daisyrabir
She will soon start to see you as her personal assistant.

Agreed. I've seen clockwork orange

Surely the best idea is for the shortest person to open the door, with everyone else lined up in order of height behind them. That way the caller can see everything he has to deal with. If just the largest person opens it, they will block the caller's view of the backup.

😂

Knowing the company your husband keeps I'm not surprised you'd want him to answer the door 😎

You refer to the caller as he, AthWat …..

Seems I’m not the only person making assumptions.