Neighbour knocking door at all hours asking for help

[daisyrabir]

There is a family that have recently moved in a few doors down.
English is not the native language and the family do not speak English very well.

A few times now the older lady has knocked on my door at around 10:30pm at night asking for help.
I did open the door and helped her with her phone issue.

Its like now it’s all the time, she will just come round in the day and night asking for help.

I have young children one of whom is a newborn and don’t want her to keep knocking on my door, especially at night.

She does this to the other neighbours as well.

DP has told me to just ignore the door now.
AIBU?

I'm an NHS podiatrist. I had a patient with diabetes living opposite me who hounded me morning noon and night once even at 3am with a hypo. In the end I went over there and told her straight, I am not a 24 hour call out service. If you need help outside clinic hours you need to ring 111. I will no longer me answering the door to you or your children. The resulting crying and sulking was unbelievable. I didn't give in but asked her if she knew her GPs address would she ring on his doorbell at 3am? No of course not. I am no different.
She never spoke to me again and asked to see a different podiatrist at work

Normal families?
What do mean by that ?

Op, I think you should just tell her no next time- or get you husband to do it .
Hopefully it will stop after that.

This, I don’t think she understands that she is crossing a boundary, the culture that she came from was probably very different, maybe it was a village where neighbours helped each other out a lot
Maybe also try showing her how to use Google, Google translate and YouTube so she can look herself, most things are online and she needs to learn this……

I meant was he working at 10.30 pm. Wasn’t clear.
Yes, my husband does work, from home though.

Why shouldn't she open the door, is there some rule that says only men can answer the door at night?

Seems very strange that she doesn’t know it’s antisocial to knock on someone’s door at late evening…
I would probably knock on her door during the day, making sure her adult children are there and explain them the whole situation.
Apart from that I would start not to answer the door after the certain time, or not at all- if questioned, say you have been busy, out of the house, whatever till they get the message.

suppose it depends what kind of area you live in!

Sorry people are being arseholes to you, @MrsSkylerWhite. You have been nothing but pleasant throughout and I think you're speaking total sense.

Also this:

I had a lovely Jamaican friend who came to the UK in her 30s and was bewildered by UK attitudes.

She lived quite rurally in Jamaica where it was common to ask a neighbour to borrow something.

And walking down the street she'd say hello to everyone.

The biggest difference was she was really upset that men weren't trying to talk to chat her up in the street or shouting out at her. She thought it was ridiculous when I said most UK women would not welcome it and I explained the concept of street harassment.

Thank you, Fargo79.

Must admit, bit mystified by some responses.

When we first moved to our present home, an elderly neighbour kept knocking asking for all sorts of help (her Tv wouldn't work, he phone, her boiler, etc). All of us on our road realised she had developed dementia and her son (who lives a long distance away) was contacted. I while later, she moved into care.

Do not call social services!

This woman will come from a culture where this is normal. It's normal where I grew up. I would not answer the door. I would also gently point her towards other sources of help. Or tell her children- nicely- that you can't help.

If she has adult kids who work, is it worth having a discrete chat with them? Maybe they don’t know she’s struggling when they’re out.

Do you object to her knocking your door at all? Or only after a certain time in the evening? If the latter, make that clear to her and/or her kids. Surely, you’re generally happy to help her if she has a problem. Maybe she’s asking for help as a means to make friends as she’s lonely.

Also, are you sure they’re her kids? Maybe they’re in a house share (asylum support accommodation or room in a shared house). Or she may even be in a difficult situation (abuse, modern slavery) and that’s why she’s reaching out for help.

It sounds like either she’s not long arrived in the U.K. from a culture where it’s totally fine to call on neighbours until fairly late at night, or she is a bit confused and not realising what time it is etc. I would manage this situation by saying to her that I’m happy to help her out if I am home during the daytime after 9am (or whatever works for you) and up until 6pm, but after that time I don’t want to be disturbed. This will probably work in the first situation but not the second. In which case I’d definitely speak to her family members.

That's a great outcome!

Who said late 50's is elderly?

What?

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Had to Google but very funny 😁

Think that poster has her own issues and is projecting. V strange.

I think the problem was your first post.
Why isn't your husband answering the door ?
It's more than fair for anyone not to answer the door later at night but your post sounded a bit judgey, like you think it's strange that a woman should be answering a door. It did sound a bit 1950s. Not every woman will have the same experiences or respond to them the same way.

No issues. Common sense, though.

Yes, you mean the council havent dropped of your free man yet? Go online and order one.

Don't forget the TV and goat while you're at it.

OP is not a single parent.

Yes, I keep half a dozen in the storage cupboard, you never know when a penis might be required to do something🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🤣🤣