Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?

[ProudOtter]

I’m just curious as to why you would judge someone for choosing to have an elective c section?

For background I’ve decided I’d like to ask for a c section for baby number 2. Some people have made comments about me being insane, or that I’m missing out of giving birth “properly”

I am curious as to why some people have this view.

My first born was semi elective c section, was rushed into an induction due to minor fetal distress and escalated a bit so had to choice to attempt vaginal birth or go for a C-section and I chose the c section. Positive experience and no regrets.

What’s insane is , women saying you’re missing out on giving birth properly 🙄..
Also vaginal deliveries weaken vaginal muscles, so isn’t great that everything stays in tact there 🤷🏻‍♀️…
Best of luck with your new baby ☺️ 🎈

Yeah, I am quite happy to have 'missed out' on giving birth 'properly!' 😆

Still got everything 'down there' intact, like I've never, ever given birth.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Me and DH had our sex life back within 3-4 weeks. (After both c-sections/births.) Bet not many 'vaginal birth' women can say that.

No, I wouldn’t judge and I definitely don’t understand any “baby comes first” comments with vaginal delivery. Yes there’s definitely benefits for baby in terms of microbes/immunity and it helps with fluid removal from the lungs -but in terms of potential serious problems like issues with the cord getting trapped round babies neck, baby getting stuck etc (basically anything that could compromise blood flow and oxygen), vaginal delivery can actually be riskier for the baby.

So I purposefully choose an elective C section even though I was told it was riskier for the mother - because overall it seems safer for baby in terms of life/death scenarios 🤷‍♀️ (and mine is an only child after many years of IVF so obviously I wanted to be as risk averse for him as I could be).

Tbh, this sounds just as superior and sneery as those who judge women for having a CS

All power to you because I was still a bleeding painful mess at 3 weeks post c section (both times). I think I’d have left my husband had he even suggested sex at 3 weeks post partum. Which he would not have done.

And my sections were easy and straightforward.

@Rainingalldayonmyhead

Limiting women’s freedom of choice is absolutely misogynistic.

You should answer the question about where do you draw the line? Men are generally bigger risk takers than women, Do you stop their choice to take part in risky things that women don’t generally do? Rugby, motorbike racing?

You also haven’t considered that an elective c section is often no more expensive than a natural birth. In private hospitals they cost the same.

I mean if you’re going down that route why not cap your “free” birth to one or two?
Why should I have to pay for my one elcs when other women are popping out 4 and 5 kids waiting nhs resources?

Also people are completely and utterly ignorant to the fact that all planned sections are classified as elective, posters are trying to make the distinction between a medically needed section and one through only choice but it’s not that simple.
You can absolutely give birth vaginally to a breech baby, it’s medically possibly, it’s probably a fucking horrendous experience for mother and baby with a high failure rate but it’s possible so is a c section necessary?
What about an elective after an emergency? Plenty of women have successful v bacs does that mean every woman has to try that first before she’s allowed a section?

@Rainingalldayonmyhead

Are you suggesting the choice should be taken away from women because they are effectively making the wrong decision for themselves? Or are you saying women shouldn’t get to choose because you think it’s too expensive?

If you think they are not capable of making an informed decision for themselves that is incredibly misogynistic. If you think it’s because it costs more, do you still judge a private patient? If so why.

FWIW when I had my ELC, part of the profits from private c sections performed in a private wing of an NHS hospital were redistributed back into the NHS. The NHS actually benefitted from the private patients. Do you still judge? If you would, then would you also judge a person having other surgery privately or only ELC?

My reasons where both of these, me elective c section was because my 2nd birth was an emergency c section due to losing my daughters heart beat, this was caused by a complication I had that reared its head again the 3rd time. She was also breech which in itself is very uncomfortable to deal with in the later weeks in my experience, and I had blood pressure of 160/90+ for the last 20 weeks of my pregnancy, I was in hospital having day cares every week it was crap. When I was asked if I would like an elective c section you best believe I jumped at it, I had severe PND with my second which I think was a result of the birth trauma, there was no chance I was going to do that again willingly and spend another year recovering mentally

My vagina did need a good rest and definitely wasn’t up for sex after 4 weeks. Took a whole extra 2 weeks if memory serves me. Can you imagine???

I’d still take my natural birth any day of the week, all 3 of them!

Especially if it means not sounding as bitter and defensive as you!

This. What a fucking ridiculous statement 😳

There were two women on the day of my section having one two, one was having her first baby and they were transverse and the other had similar reasons to me minus the blood pressure, I think the too posh to push mindset is extremely rare, do the nhs even do that?

'Too posh to push' is one of the most ridiculous statements to ever come out of the 20th and 21st century. No woman is 'too posh to push!' 🙄 (rolleyes not aimed at you @3rdtimeidiot )

Women who wants an elective c-section opt for it to try to avoid childbirth injuries, prolapse, tears, episiotomy, pelvic floor muscle damage, and incontience (fecal and urinary,) etc etc. Indeed 9 out of 10 women who have a vaginal birth have some kind of birth injuries. Some will be minor, and they will recover and heal quite quickly. Some will not, and will have life-changing injuries that will need surgery to fix.

Women over 30 are more likely to go for elective c-section (IMO and IME,) because women over 30 are more likely to have issues and difficulties with childbirth. The majority of women I know who had issues with childbirth/had a very difficult childbirth, were over 30. In fact, almost every woman I know who had a baby past 30 did not have an easy time in childbirth. I am sure some women do, but IME women having a baby over 30, are more likely to have a troublesome childbirth. The younger a mother, the less likely there will be problems/issues with childbirth.

Who'd be a woman eh?

I think some women are anti c section purely because they think it has to be shit for everyone and they hate the idea that some women want to opt out of some of the risks associated with a vaginal birth.
No I don’t think it’s funny to piss yourself when you jump, or laugh or develop a prolapse or lasting piles. I know so many women with long lasting complications from childbirth but that are viewed as not bad enough by the nhs to do anything to rectify it.
No thanks, not for me.

Thanks for this @Sofiewoo and I agree. Some women are anti c-section because they cannot BEAR the idea that some women have an easy-(ish, relatively smooth, trouble-free childbirth. The haters are almost exclusively women who had a vaginal birth. And many of them will have had a painful birth, and injuries from it - some worse than others, and they harbour deep resentment for women who opt for an elective c-section.

That's what it is. It HAS to be. Otherwise, why the deep resentment and anger towards women who have elective c-sections? And snarky, rude, disparaging comments, like 'it's not a real birth,' and 'it's not good for the baby, it FAR better for them to come through the birth canal,' and 'you can't bond with a c-section baby.' All bollocks. No reason at all why a c-section baby won't be as healthy as a vaginal birth one, and I bonded with my 2 instantly, despite them being c-section! 🙄

In fact, the chances of mother or baby dying or being injured during childbirth is greater with a vaginal birth than with a c-section. The chances are high that most women WON'T die during vaginal birth of course, but the chances are greater than with c-section births.

The bitterness is strong from some on here. Women choosing c-sections does you NO harm at all. Leave women alone to make the choices they want with their own bodies! Stop bringing other women down. (And it is women doing it. Men aren't slating women for c-sections!)

Sounds like you doth protest too much! From what I've read from you on here, it is YOU who is bitter and making sweeping remarks about women who have had vaginal births and trying to bring them down! Why bring your sex life into it or whether you are intact 'down there'? You just come across deeply immature.
Just to stoop down to your level, I've had two quick vaginal births (less than 3 hours both) no epidural, no tears, no interventions, and I am very happily 'Intact' as you say. Oh, and I also was very happily having sex after two weeks, with the go ahead from my midwife. Oh and I felt like an absolute fucking superhero after I had given birth to two healthy babies, and incredibly proud of what my body could do. But it's not a competiton is it?? I'm not making rude comments about women who have a c-section for whatever reason so please stop doing the same to those who had VB's!

Yeah it’s all “well we suffered so you should too” it shows a very selfish way of thinking.
When instead we should be cheering each on and being happy that things have progressed so much.
Women really are each others worst enemy sometimes

I dunno do you think maybe it’s the pages and pages from multiple posters saying it’s not a real birth, it makes you a wuss, it’s the lazy choice, it’s you being selfish and not putting her baby first that maybe could make someone defensive?

@User16042025 also why does it trigger you for someone to list the benefits to them about their birth because it happened to be a c section?
Someone being happy with the outcome of their choice for their life should be what we all aim for.
Literally no one is telling you that you can’t be happy with your birth but it’s a bit weird to come onto a thread about people being rude, bitchy and judgmental about c sections to discuss your fantastic vaginal birth, no?

Some of us have had a bloody awful VB and a bloody awful CS!

I'm responding to the rude, bitchy and judgemental comments about VB.

In what was stating that she had no vaginal trauma rude bitchy or judgmental? It’s a pretty basic fact of the differences between a vaginal birth and a c section.

Not at all. I know someone who chose one after having a traumatic vaginal birth and they had a really positive planned c-section.

Why on earth would I judge?

All that media “too posh to push” absolute women-hating nonsense of 20 years ago may have stuck in your mind?

That comment stopped me in my tracks. It was not about stating facts. The aim was to have a dig at natural and vaginal births.

You know that though.