Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?

[ProudOtter]

I’m just curious as to why you would judge someone for choosing to have an elective c section?

For background I’ve decided I’d like to ask for a c section for baby number 2. Some people have made comments about me being insane, or that I’m missing out of giving birth “properly”

I am curious as to why some people have this view.

My first born was semi elective c section, was rushed into an induction due to minor fetal distress and escalated a bit so had to choice to attempt vaginal birth or go for a C-section and I chose the c section. Positive experience and no regrets.

No not at all, also would never judge anybody for wanting an unmediated birth or home water birth. I absolutely hate some attitudes towards women and childbirth.

I remember the backlash when maternal request cesareans became a thing, so much insistence that women should not be allowed to make their own decisions about their own bodies. Appalling.

I equally hate the attitudes towards women who want a ‘natural’ birth or have a birth plan, often seems to be this element of glee if it all falls apart, like she deserved it for wanting a good experience.

its just misogyny deep down and this idea that birth needs to be undignified and unpleasant for women.

It’s so sad that people think akin to skin doesn’t happen with sections and that it still doesn’t happen in places with sections! I understand if it’s an emergency and baby or mum need medical help. But when my DS was born nearly 3 years ago he needed a bit of help with his breathing and that took a short while - anaesthetist actually went and filmed him/got photos and brought them back to show me. Then he was brought over all fine and placed on my chest, skin to skin, and that was where he stayed until the surgery was finished. Then he was handed to DH for a few minutes while I was lifted from the operating table to the wheely bed they take you back to the ward in. I could have had him back within minutes but I let his Dad get a cuddle in! And then I had him back and I held him the whole time as they wheeled me back to the recovery ward. It was the proudest moment of my life being wheeled through the hospital (electives were done in the main building not the women and children’s building) with my new baby, everyone congratulating me. And then we had our own room so midwife dimmed the lights, made it really calm, she sat in a corner and didn’t interrupt us, and I did skin to skin for hours, did our first breastfeed - and had my tea and toast! Honestly it was magical. I had to get put on a drip to make me contract as I was bleeding a bit much as a complication from my polyhydramios (thank god for that spinal so I didn’t feel that after the surgery!) but that didn’t impact anything with baby. I was told they would have usually got him feeding immediately after my surgery but they’d had to check him as I’d had poly and there’s a slight chance that’s caused by an undeveloped aesophagus, so you can’t feed baby until they know that’s not the case. They checked him for that within minutes of us being brought to our recovery room and then it was just us and our little bubble.

Er, maybe because they have different experiences to you?

🙄

@TotallyAddictedToCoffee Here’s the medal you’re after 🥇

Very true unfortunately. After my very traumatic emergency section to save mine and DD's life another woman told me I had my child the easy way🙄. OP do what is best for you and if anyone judges you show them your middle finger 😁

Couldn't agree more. Why is it considered such a badge of honour to have no pain relief? If you have quick,straightforward births then good luck to you but the vast majority of us are (were in my case) not so fortunate. I would not have a tooth out or a broken leg set without pain relief so why would I give birth to a baby in a very awkward position without pain relief? Surely the main goal is to have a healthy baby and mother? How the baby arrived is irrelevant after the event.

Your body, your choice.

Anyone who things otherwise or judges people for the decisions they make can just fuck right off.

You'll find idiots everywhere in life, I'm surprised you weren't more aware of that from the first baby you had, they seem to warn around new mums with their unhelpful opinions. Treat them gently and limit the information you share: "Baby is due X date, just hoping all will go well." is more than enough. Divert them onto the weather, or cute things the toddler said.

I wouldn't judge. My eldest was born via emergency c-section, for my 2nd I opted for a planned section. Recovery for my planned section was a lot easier even with a toddler.

Women are allowed to feel pride in their births! It’s not a judgement of anyone else.

I asked for gas and air when I attended hospital but was refused because I wasn’t far along enough (since confirmed to me that this was nonsense). When they realised I was 10cm and pushing and I asked for it again, I was told no because I had to concentrate.

I am unhappy that I was refused pain relief BUT I am proud of how I endured and coped.

I don’t think I’m a better mother because of it. I’m due to give birth again in a couple of weeks and will definitely be advocating for myself to obtain gas and air 😂

JFC!

Absolutely not. I'd be proud of them for being empowered to know what's best for them, and glad we have a health service that facilitates this.

If I could go back in time I would absolutely have chosen a c section over vaginal.

No at all.
However I don't know why some women think it's the 'easier' option?
It's major surgery.
I had a natural birth. I had a 3rd degree tear and my bladder has never been the same since, but I wouldn't never have opted for a c section unless it was an emergency. However each to their own.

No but the point is both options shouldnt be available. The first is a perfectly acceptable option. If things don’t go as planned of course there should be intervention. If option 2 is the only option - previous issues, mother safety, baby safety etc then perfectly fine.

You are also assuming that every vaginal birth will
have issues so an elective c section is the only option. Also it dismisses major abdominal surgery doesn’t have potential issues as well.

Which loops back to vaginal birth is a perfectly acceptable first option .

Only if that's what the woman wants. If a woman accepts that a c-section also has risks but would rather those risks over the risks of a vaginal birth then that is her choice to make.

Especially as there is a difference between an emergency c-section after hours of labour and an elective c-section.

She's assuming no such thing. She's only talking about a specific vaginal birth having issues, which is reasonable and realistic since we know more than zero of them do.

But also, your framing of the issue is wrong, because elective ELCS is not in fact the more expensive choice once downstream costs of litigation and reconstruction are taken into account. Does this mean women ought to have to pay if they want to attempt a VB?

I’m booked in for a c section which is major surgery only because my baby is breech. Do people not understand this? You should be able to give birth however way you like. Birth is no joke and anyone that calls you a wuss clearly has no idea about giving birth. I don’t understand how going through major abdominal surgery is a wussy way out. Absolutely ridiculous

Shouldn't be available?! Are we in fucking Gilead?

I was offered vaginal birth as well as CS. The doctors were clear that in my case vaginal birth was riskier than a CS but both were in theory an option, so I chose a CS. Was I wrong? That counts as an elective CS, surely. Should the choice not have been made available to me? Had I chosen a vaginal birth it would have gone very, very wrong. Most likely fatal (as it turned out the situation changed and for different reasons a CS ultimately became the only option).

No because as I said if there is a risk then you have to have a c.

No we aren’t in Gilead but we also aren’t in a position where as a country we should perform elective surgeries. Our NHS is broken.

Should I be allowed a breast augmentation, or rhinoplasty or liposuction etc because it’s my choice to have them? No because the NHS doesn’t allow this. Or because having a child through birth isn’t optional (the baby has to come out) should I be able to choose when there is a perfectly natural way of giving bright (again I understand there are those who can’t) just because I want to?

I get you don’t agree and that perfectly fine but we don’t need to catastrophise to Gilead to make the point. Or swear for that matter.

Surrogacy isn’t illegal but there are those who really really don’t agree with it and feel it exploits women.

People are allowed to have their opinions.

I don’t agree with elective surgery. and I don’t have to as thats my opinion. I respect a woman iin the UK has the right to choose to have an elective c section and thats fine but I don’t agree with it.

Then presumably we also shouldn't offer IVF, provide Viagra or any kind of birth control including sterilisation, among many other procedures and treatments that aren't medical imperatives. Where does it end? Perhaps we stop offering treatment to addicts, alcoholics, smokers, the obese, people who injure themselves doing exercise or sports?

Or is it only medical misogyny you're advocating? Let the women keep suffering?

And as for if there is a risk, there is ALWAYS a risk. That's the point.

Okay it’s enough. Don’t accuse me or make this personal. I am not a misogynist and will not enter into a conversation with someone who makes it personal, attacking, accusatory and aggressive. I won’t entertain the attack. Post all you want I won’t read or respond further.

It's funny how no one is able to answer the question.

It isn't an attack to wonder why if c-sections are too expensive to fund then why shouldn't it extend to other things?

Planned c-sections don’t really cost more than attempting a vaginal birth though, so cost isn’t relevant anyway

Indeed, and they may even be more expensive. None of the people who wrongly thought ELCS was dearer have yet told us whether their views have changed now they know better.

Sorry but a c section is way harder than a so called normal birth! And no as long as mother and baby are mentally and physically well I’m happy. Your body your choice your business and nobody else’s opinion is worth a shite! I had three babies by c section.